Endless Meowing!

[floridagator1]

Hello! My boyfriend and I recently moved in together, and my cat joined us. He has a cat of his own. Both are female about 5ish years old. They... have not been getting along. We introduced them wrong, and so for a while we've had them separate with no contact, but eating at the same time between a closed door.

The problem is, my cat is very skiddish, and his cat likes to bully her.

 

[jen]

How exactly does his cat bully her? And how does she respond to it?

Go slow, keep them separate like you are doing. Buy some Feliway or calming collars. Let them eventually come out and find each other on their own. Meowing, growling, hissing is perfectly fine. This is how cats communicate. How they tell each other to back off, or that they are being too rough.

When does the excessive meowing happen?

 

[floridagator1]

(Sorry, it posted when I was unfinished!)

Anyway, we recently purchased a baby gate to try and get them reintroduced properly. The gate has vertical metal bars and a door for ease of use. The second I put it in, his cat bumrushed it. She kept poking until she found a way through! I put up a temporary barrier on that side and she found another, so we taped cardboard around the openings. This keeps her from entering, but not from trying to get in. My cat doesn't trust her and hides in the cupboard under the sink. She hasn't yet found a way to sneak in, but if we hear her trying we get up and move her away.

The past few nights, she's taken to crying outside the bedroom door. The first night she eventually stopped, but last night she went alllll night long. She stopped briefly when my boyfriend went to work, but then started again an hour or so later. My cat gets very skiddish when this happens.

We sleep with the door shut over the gate, just in case, and also because it's too loud in the apartment to leave the door open. Yet we can't let his cat in the room until she proves she can be nice to my own cat. Any ideas?

 

[jen]

Sorry, I answered too fast haha.

I am reading that your cat gets nervous when his cat tries to get out of the room through the gate and all, but I am missing how his cat is directly bullying your cat? It sounds like yours is just freaked out from the move and its all just too much and the commotion of his cat and the gate scare her even more. I think the shy, skiddish cat should be the one confined to a small space, behind the gate. Its too overwhelming otherwise. Meanwhile purchase Feliway plug ins and sprays and calming collars and give them time.

 

[floridagator1]

How exactly does his cat bully her? And how does she respond to it?

Go slow, keep them separate like you are doing. Buy some Feliway or calming collars. Let them eventually come out and find each other on their own. Meowing, growling, hissing is perfectly fine. This is how cats communicate. How they tell each other to back off, or that they are being too rough.

When does the excessive meowing happen?

We first tried switching their home bases in the apartment, and then after a few switches decided to try supervised visits in the main area. His cat would charge mine, or sit and taunt her. My cat would be nervous and would sit in the middle of the diningroom table, and his cat would gradually move closer until a fight broke out. If my cat moved to run away, his would chase her and guard the exit to wherever she was hiding. We at first thought she was being curious, but soon learned she was bullying. She'd block my cat from doing anything or going anywhere.

We had to stop switching their bases because his cat would misbehave incredibly if we kept her locked in our bedroom, even for a night. She was just very unhappy to have the run of the apt taken away. My cat doesn't mind, and seems comfortable in a smaller, safer area, so we've had them separate since, I just feed them as close as I can to each side of the door.

I was told adult female cats are the hardest to get along, but it's not impossible! Lol.

 

[floridagator1]

I've lived here three months now, for reference. Mid-April we came, and we started trying to intro the cats about a week later. They've been separated since the last week of May, after their fighting just was getting worse and harder to try and stop.