Does My Cat Need A Companion?

[lstringer024]

Hi everyone,

I tried to google this to see if it was asked before, but I couldn't find much. I have one cat, Byron, who I rescued 3 years ago. When I adopted him, I was told he was a "one cat home," and I am okay with that. Byron is now turning 4-years-old and is very loving and affectionate, but he is also very jealous. Whenever I am speaking on the phone or with another person, or my attention is off of him for a minute, he whines and follows me from room-to-room. On particularly bad days, I get bit and scratched for "ignoring him." Of course, I shower him with love and attention if he likes, but it's unreasonable to expect that my attention is on him 100% of the time.

My question is would adopting another cat, most likely a kitten, help the situation, or make his jealousy even worse? I'm torn between the thought of the kitten being a companion or a rival in his eyes.

If adopting another cat is not the solution, what other suggestions are there?

I designate play time every night, allow him to cuddle when he likes, and pay plenty of attention to him. I don't work long work shifts and am not very socially active. There have not been any major changes to my lifestyle or his. I'm puzzled why he would continue to be so jealous and needy after 3 years! Am I simply enabling his behavior?

Thanks!

 

[Timmer]

Well....he loves you! Some people like that "needy" behavior. I do. LOL.
No, I wouldn't get him another cat. A second cat in the home is usually for the humans who live there.
And if someone told you he needs a one cat home, there's probably a good reason for it, like he might be very aggressive toward another cat. You don't want that. It's a nightmare. Been there, done that.
My opinion.

 

[Desertmouse]

My first instinct is to say that a new cat probably isn’t the answer here. Were you told why he should be in a one cat home? If you do get a new cat I would suggest you get one as close to his age as possible. Often a kitten is annoy a older cat with their energy.

For what it’s worth one of my very first posts here was about my cat who would bite or attack me and the dog when we started moving around. It’s a bit different, but what helped with Sadie is pulling out the wand toy with a ground prey toy on it for a short play session.

You mentioned that when he bites you it’s usually when you are either talking on the phone or to another person right? Could it be a matter of the noise from talking? When you are talking to other people does your voice tend to get louder, or deeper/higher pitched? Could it be that he is worried about you? I know Sadie have given me a nibble before when I yipped in pain or made noise crying. When he bites/scratch, how hard are we talking? Is he drawing blood?

 

[lstringer024]

My first instinct is to say that a new cat probably isn’t the answer here. Were you told why he should be in a one cat home? If you do get a new cat I would suggest you get one as close to his age as possible. Often a kitten is annoy a older cat with their energy.

For what it’s worth one of my very first posts here was about my cat who would bite or attack me and the dog when we started moving around. It’s a bit different, but what helped with Sadie is pulling out the wand toy with a ground prey toy on it for a short play session.

You mentioned that when he bites you it’s usually when you are either talking on the phone or to another person right? Could it be a matter of the noise from talking? When you are talking to other people does your voice tend to get louder, or deeper/higher pitched? Could it be that he is worried about you? I know Sadie have given me a nibble before when I yipped in pain or made noise crying. When he bites/scratch, how hard are we talking? Is he drawing blood?

My first instinct is to say that a new cat probably isn’t the answer here. Were you told why he should be in a one cat home? If you do get a new cat I would suggest you get one as close to his age as possible. Often a kitten is annoy a older cat with their energy.

For what it’s worth one of my very first posts here was about my cat who would bite or attack me and the dog when we started moving around. It’s a bit different, but what helped with Sadie is pulling out the wand toy with a ground prey toy on it for a short play session.

You mentioned that when he bites you it’s usually when you are either talking on the phone or to another person right? Could it be a matter of the noise from talking? When you are talking to other people does your voice tend to get louder, or deeper/higher pitched? Could it be that he is worried about you? I know Sadie have given me a nibble before when I yipped in pain or made noise crying. When he bites/scratch, how hard are we talking? Is he drawing blood?

It very well could be that I'm speaking louder, especially when it's my grandparents on the phone, as I'm normally pretty soft spoken. But the bites and scratches are pretty severe, drawing blood most of the time. My arm and hand are covered with scratches, and I know that's part of being a cat owner, but he left me with 2 scratches and a bite mark today alone. And it's either a swat with claws, or it's grabbing on with all four appendages and sinking his teeth right into my arm. It's not an everyday occurrence, but it's frequent enough that I'm wondering what else to do.

Byron's background is a bit of a mystery, and I've never seen him interact with other cats. When I went to the shelter to the room where the available cats were, he was the only one sleeping in a cage to keep him separated from the other cats. I always assumed he was either bullied or too frightened by other cats. When the neighborhood cats wander into the yard, Byron watches them from the window, but the moment the other cats notice him he ducks out of view.

Hence why I'm hesitant to get him a companion, but every time I google a cat question, the article's answers always seem to be "get another cat for company." My vet floated the kitten as an idea, but I've always been of the mindset that Byron needs all the attention, all of the time and would not be happy if that changed! But it's always good to reach out to others and get their thoughts.

When he does bite and scratch, I say "ow, you hurt me!" If it's really bad, like today, I either isolate him in a room or myself and that stops it. But I'd like to decrease or prevent it before my arm becomes totally raw from his attacks!

 

[Desertmouse]

It very well could be that I'm speaking louder, especially when it's my grandparents on the phone, as I'm normally pretty soft spoken. But the bites and scratches are pretty severe, drawing blood most of the time. My arm and hand are covered with scratches, and I know that's part of being a cat owner, but he left me with 2 scratches and a bite mark today alone. And it's either a swat with claws, or it's grabbing on with all four appendages and sinking his teeth right into my arm. It's not an everyday occurrence, but it's frequent enough that I'm wondering what else to do.

Byron's background is a bit of a mystery, and I've never seen him interact with other cats. When I went to the shelter to the room where the available cats were, he was the only one sleeping in a cage to keep him separated from the other cats. I always assumed he was either bullied or too frightened by other cats. When the neighborhood cats wander into the yard, Byron watches them from the window, but the moment the other cats notice him he ducks out of view.

Hence why I'm hesitant to get him a companion, but every time I google a cat question, the article's answers always seem to be "get another cat for company." My vet floated the kitten as an idea, but I've always been of the mindset that Byron needs all the attention, all of the time and would not be happy if that changed! But it's always good to reach out to others and get their thoughts.

When he does bite and scratch, I say "ow, you hurt me!" If it's really bad, like today, I either isolate him in a room or myself and that stops it. But I'd like to decrease or prevent it before my arm becomes totally raw from his attacks!

Ouch, I’m sorry he’s hurting you!

I’m glad you don’t have your heart set on a new kitten, from what you described it sounds like any other cat would have to the perfect temperament to match his if it would work and that can be hard to do. I wish there was some way to “try it out” but the fact is most of the time you can’t do trial adoptions and even when you can it takes cats awhile to get used to the new place and really show their real personality.

The biting and scratching is definitely a problem, your poor arms! First things first, make sure you treat the bites and scratches each time. Sometimes they can turn pretty ugly. Here’s a link with more on that Ouch! More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Cat Bites .

As far as stopping it, the first thing we need to do is figure out the cause. It sounds like noise could be one of the triggers. From what you said though I don’t think that it’s the only one, can you think of anything else that could be to catalyst? I’m going to give you a few links that might help you figure out what is the cause behind it, or at least understand it better. How To Stop Playtime Aggression In Cats, Cat Aggression Toward People, Cat Aggression Toward People, How To Deal With Cat "love Bites"? remember if you run into any questions on these, just ask, everyone here loves to help!

Once we figure out why he is biting the next step is to get him to stop, if you want to get a step ahead, here are a few more articles. Is Your Cat Stressed Out?, The Dos And Don'ts Of Cat Behavior Modification, Solving Cat Behavior Problems: The Key Ingredient

 

[Timmer]

In a room with other cats and in a cage -- what does that tell you? He shouldn't be around other cats. I'm still going to give you a thumbs down no on getting another cat and I will tell you why. He will probably turn that aggression on the other cat and make your life hell. Timmer was an extremely aggressive cat and I had to keep him and my other cat separated for 8 years. He chased her like a bunny, tried to kill her, and made her life hell. I built a door at the top of my second floor and one cat lived up and one lived down. By chance is Byron a breed of some sort? After I adopted Timmer I found out he was a bengal.

I had a cat years ago who used to bite my ankles if I talked on the phone too long. I thought it was funny, actually. She wanted me to get off the phone so I could focus on HER. :-)

Do you clip Byron's claws? I'm guessing you don't. That might help.
I used to get Timmer these Jackson Galaxy toys called "the kicker." It was about 8 inches long, soft, and cylindrical, stuffed with fluff and catnip. The idea is so that the cat can basically rabbit kick it to death. He LOVED it. You can get those at Petsmart. My cat took a lot of aggression out on that.

Sometimes he would latch onto me but not enough to draw blood. If a cat latches onto you and bites, instead of pulling away, gently push into his mouth. Surprisingly, they will release you.
Lastly, your vet doesn't have to live with whatever situation comes of this, and neither do any of us here. You might fall in love with the second cat and then there will be a dilema for you.

 

[Etarre]

It's not at all normal to have a cat that scratches deeply enough to draw blood! While I really commend you on your recognition that no cat is perfect and we all need to make allowances for our cats' little quirks, I think you're right to look for a solution to the situation, which really is a problem.

I've always had only cats (my husband is allergic) so I don't really have an insight into the situation that's cat specific. In college, I did have a dwarf aquatic frog as a pet, and read everywhere that they are social animals and it's cruel to have a single frog. So I dutifully went out and got another frog buddy for my first frog. This went badly, and they fought over their (plenty large enough) tank so violently that I was afraid someone would lose a limb. So I've always taken internet advice about the need to acquire animals in pairs with a grain of salt.

Good luck trying to train Byron to stop biting. It sounds like you're doing all the right things, and it may take time. I read somewhere that cats who are socialized by their mothers and siblings learn to play with appropriate intensity (e.g. claws in, only soft biting) and those who do not have this advantage need to be taught by their human owners. Since you don't know much about Byron's history, perhaps he was separated from his mother early. The way that cats teach each other to behave is roughly what you're doing anyway-- rough play means no more play.

My cats, at least one of which was raised by her mother until an appropriate age (we're not sure about the other), did learn to play with claws in, and this is not an unreasonable expectation for a cat.

 

[Desertmouse]

So I realized I left out something that might be helpful (actually woke up thinking about how I forgot to add it). When a cat plays with his litter mates and is learning limits they will let out a very loud cry if something hurts (the kind that makes cat owners around the world run in to make sure no one is dead ), it sounds like you are already doing that or something like it. Something else you might try is to hiss when he hurts you and then remove yourself and completely ignore him for 5 to 10 mins. If that doesn’t work, given how bad this sounds like it already is you might want to try Find Out How to Scruff Your Cat in 5 Steps something like this. I’ll be honest, I don’t know a lot about it, I was always afraid of hurting them, but then I’m a wimp. I’m hoping someone who knows more can give you more advice.
Here is a thread I would also suggest you read, it might help out as well. Momma cats: How they discipline.

 

[Timmer]

Whenever any of my cats have gotten crazy with me I just say NO! and then walk away from them. I think it's some weird sort of pent up frustration or anger. I have been scratched to the point of blood. I wouldn't say that's abnormal or something is wrong with the cat because they don't know. It's just not fun for us.

I had a cat for 18 years and when she got older every once in awhile she would be laying on my chest all sweet, and then suddenly latch onto my arm; it was like she was nuts she was holding on so hard with her claws and teeth I could have held my arm out and she would have stayed on me. Then when I got her off me, she would stare at me like she was going to scratch my eyes out and then lunge at me (I had forgotten about all of this...it's been years). I don't what that was about because we would be laying there fine and then all of a sudden it would happen. It might have even been a bit of dementia.