Distraught after foster kittens were adopted

[Sadfoster]

Hello!

I am brand new to this site and pretty new to cats. I had a couple of outdoor cats when I was little but like the rest of the world my husband and I decided to foster kittens during lock down. Well just yesterday the two little kittens went, together, to their new home and I keep breaking down. When they came to us they were 5 weeks old and had tummy troubles and were quite sick, we weighed them every day and fed them their medicine and their pumpkin and watched them grow in to the best 11 week olds ever. They followed us everywhere, every room we were in they joined us, they purred just if we got close to them and I don’t know cat psychology but I swear they loved us so much. When the boy kitten would wake up alone he would meow and come straight to me for more snoozing and to groom my eyelashes and would stare straight in to my eyes purring and putting his paw gently on my face. We go away lots of weekends we aren’t from the country so we know we would have had to leave these cats alone or move them overseas or change our lives completely to keep them. So off they went yesterday to a really lovely family who have been sending me photos and updates and they’ve said the kittens seem happy. In one video the kittens are hiding under the bed terrified of the 2 year old kid and I literally cannot get over the pain of missing them. I feel so bad that they have had to go to a whole new home with strange new people and that they will wonder where we are and why we left them. I’m so happy they’re together and so happy the new family seems to care about them and BELIEVE me I have no idea why I feel like this I honestly never imagined I could care so much or sound so insane but I have to ask what people think. Do the kittens feel betrayed? Did they spend the night sad? Will they wonder where we went and wonder why? From what I’ve read it’s not normal to feel so so distraught, I even wanted to ask for them back but I know that’s terrible. Please, from a new cat lover send help!!
PS, I am welcoming 3 new foster kitties tomorrow but they will be my second and last as my new landlord doesn’t allow foster pets and I’m moving in a couple of weeks. I hope they will help me to feel better but worry I’m setting myself up for more heartache and stupidly feel like I’m betraying the two little kittens we loved soooo much. Thanks for any replies in advance

 

[lavishsqualor]

Your story is exactly why I won't foster anymore.

I'd never be able to give up the kittens.

Even so, you might check out some of the videos on Youtube by Flatbush Cats. It's a wonderful rescue organization and the owner is always saying how hard is to give up the cats, but that he knows that by doing so he can help others, just as you are with your new fosters. I honestly think it's one of the very best channels on Youtube.

 

[Norachan]

It sounds like you had a wonderful experience with your foster kittens. Of course you're upset to see them go, who wouldn't be?

I've been doing TNR and rescue for a while now. I have my own merry little band of resident cats, but I sometimes take in feral or abandoned kittens and get them vetted and socialized so they can be adopted. I feel like my heart is going to break every time I have to let the kittens go to their new home, but it wouldn't stop me doing it again.

I know if I hadn't taken those kittens in they probably wouldn't have survived. So many cats and kittens are put to sleep because of over crowding in shelters every year. If it wasn't for fosters like you those kittens, or other kittens like them, wouldn't have had the chance to go to a forever home.

I know it's not always possible for shelters to give sick, unsocialised kittens the amount of care and attention they need. Without fosters ready to devote their time to kittens like these they may not have survived those early few weeks. They probably wouldn't have been so confident around people if they hadn't had all that one on one love from their foster family.

I know that for every cute, healthy kitten I fall in love with and then have to give to someone else there's going to be a skittish feral, or a battered old tom, or a kitten with chronic health problems that can't really be rehomed. I can help those cats, because I have the space and means to care for a feral colony. I wouldn't be able to do that if I'd kept all those lovely little fluffballs I gave up.

The kittens you fostered probably spent a night being a bit confused, but nothing bad happened to them. It always takes a bit of time for cats to adjust to a new home, but they soon will do. Kittens are incredibly adaptable. it's great that their new family are happy to send you updates and pictures too.

Those kittens, who had such a bad start to life, have gone off to make some lucky family complete thanks to you. Fostering can be hear breaking, but the good you do! The lives you save! The difference you make for those kittens! It makes it all worth while.



Until you meet your forever cat, we're here for you.

 

[lavishsqualor]

What an absolutely perfect post, Norachan. Every word of it is just perfect.

This sentiment is so, so, so true:

I know that for every cute, healthy kitten I fall in love with and then have to give to someone else there's going to be a skittish feral, or a battered old tom, or a kitten with chronic health problems that can't really be rehomed. I can help those cats, because I have the space and means to care for a feral colony. I wouldn't be able to do that if I'd kept all those lovely little fluffballs I gave up.

Sadfoster, please don't be sad. Without you those kittens might not even be alive. As Norachan said, a night or so of confusion is certainly worth a life of love in a forever home.

I hope you foster again. I know I will.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I watch a kitten cam off and on. I’ve seen dozens of kittens and cats adopted through this womans rescue. I’ve cried when she cried and I’ve seen her sad after goodbyes. But I’ve seen the cats go on to grow up and have great loving homes. Meanwhile there are always more kittens needing someone to care. Fostering is hard but so important. Even when its hard putting their needs over our feelings.

I hope someday you will be able to have a permanent furbaby of your own. Until then; you’ve done a wonderful, beautiful thing for some precious living beings.

 

[Lari]

My cat was a feral trapped as a kitten, and she was in a foster home from about 13 weeks (when she was trapped and spayed), until 4.5 months when I adopted her. She was really sad and scared at first and probably wondered what happened to her safe place. It's been over 2.5 years now and she's a perfectly well adjusted cat who loves me a lot. I'm grateful to her foster mom for letting me adopt her and give her love, and the foster mom was able to go on and socialize even more cats that she couldn't have if she still had mine.

Your kitties might be scared, but it sounds like they went to a good home and they will adjust. I know it's hard for you, but you prepared those cats to be loved by someone else and I'm sure their new family is eternally grateful.