Curious -- Is It Normal For People To Post Something And Then Just Disappear?

[vyger]

I have been reading and commenting on things here for almost a month now and I have noticed that some people start a conversation, ask a question, or something like that, participate in a discussion for a few days and then never come back. Is this normal?
For example there was a post by someone who was new about accidentally running over her cat. You can read it here.
Heartbroken And Grieving
People did respond and offered sympathy. I contemplated responding but waited a few days, as experience has taught me to think things through before running my mouth (and fingers). Anyway, after several days I noticed that the writer has never returned, the last time on the site was when she posted the thread. Now, they probably were able to read the comments in the emails that are sent, but that is not the same as participating in a discussion. I have noticed other threads where the original poster has not been around for years but the thread stays active because people keep posting answers (including me). Is this normal here or is it the exception?
I understand there are circumstances that can change things but to just drop out of a conversation to me is kind of like hanging up the phone on someone. Now I understand I am a bit of an exception in this. I have articles on another web site that have a comment section and even though some are now going on 10 years old I still respond to questions that are asked usually within a few days.
Anyway, I just think it would be polite to let people know that something has been resolved so people don't spend time trying to respond to a problem that is no longer a problem. Maybe you need to add a "nevermind" button.

 

[Draco]

Unfortunately people do post and leave.. sometimes they don't have motivation to stay, or got the info they need and don't need to come back anymore. Some people aren't chatty either I wish they'd all stay and chat!

I want my desk to look like that. So cute!!

 

[haleyds]

I think it seems to be a reoccurring thing. People have a specific question that they can't find the answer to on Google so they join the site, ask their questions and get the answers and then never come back. It's usually very specific situations it seems, as the cat addicts who like to talk and learn about cats as well as get occasional help are the ones who stick around and are active. I've read forums too where I wish the OP had said more, or at least replied. But alas some people just aren't into the whole community thing, they get what they came for and leave.

 

[mokapi]

I'm guilty of doing this all over the place. I stuck around here because I liked that everyone seems to have a virtual friendship going on that extends beyond the cats.

 

[Kieka]

It happens. *shrug*

People sometimes don't get the feeling of community on the website that others get; so they don't come back. Or they were looking for validation and got it (or not). Or they aren't crazy cat people so this isn't really the place for them. Or they just want an answer and move on.

There are also the repetition questions (why is a Bengal active? Why is a Siamese loud? Why does my cat misbehave when bored? What does peeing outside the box mean?) which isn't to say they shouldn't be asked. Sometimes you get into them and see there is something unique about the situation or a minute difference that changes the advise. But I know sometimes those questions can get more of a snippy answer which could make someone feel talked down to. You can't forget the hotly debated questions (wet versus dry food or indoor vs outdoor). Someone new who asks one of those might be overwhelmed by the emotions behind the responses.

All that aside, I think we have a really great community here and it is worth sticking around for.

Welcome!!

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

...I have noticed that some people start a conversation,..., participate ....and then never come back. ...For example there was a post by someone who was new about accidentally running over her cat. You can read it here. Heartbroken And Grieving
..., after several days I noticed that the writer has never returned, the last time on the site was when she posted the thread. Now, they probably were able to read the comments in the emails that are sent, but that is not the same as participating in a discussion. ...

Here's my two cents...

First of all, depending on what alert preferences a member has chosen, I've learned the long, hard way that the only email alert a member gets from a specific thread a member has chosen to "Watch" is the FIRST email posted since the last time you've visited the said thread online. Any subsequent posts do not get the benefit of being sent to you via email. Not until you visit the thread again, and start the "email alert" activation again. It's unlikely that any new person would know that (heck, it took me ages of finding that out for myself and only after reading the tiny print in an alert email and that, only after bugging mods and the site owner why I wasn't getting very many emails, lol-- it doesn't have to do with spam filters but the platform option for emails).

Spoiler: partial text from email alerts-

"This message was sent to you because you opted to watch the thread [such and such] at The Cat Site with email notification of new replies. You will not receive any further emails about this thread until you have read the new messages."

So that new poster probably thought, then, that only one person had replied to their I-ran-over-my-cat thread since the member maybe only got one EMAIL alert that the thread was even active with others posting. If that new member has logged into the site since that first email alert and looked at the thread, then he/she will receive another email when a fresh response is posted. But if all the posts were made on the very day that person was only here, they probably thought only one person cared about their story.

Also, I would myself not feel like hanging around an unfamiliar site with unfamiliar people if I was freshly grieving over such a sad situation, and I was new to the site.

If I felt like only one person had replied to what I'd written (the implication of only receiving one email alert) and I was new, and I was grieving, I might just grieve with loved ones in "real" life instead of online in a forum.


Also, don't forget that many people take more personal conversations into the "Conversations" realm of TCS, and not in the public forum.

----
(I think a mod or mentor can address why threads are either left open or when some threads are closed... or you can contact a mod or mentor to have them convo you about their policies. I just wanted to offer an idea why a new member may or may not spend hours replying to people if they were grieving or whatnot.)

 

[AbbysMom]

We definitely get a fair amount of hit and run posters here. Some people love the feeling of community and stay, others get their questions answered and leave right away. Some will join, post like a fiend for a week, or months, and then completely stop posting. Then there are people like me, that you can't get rid of.

I have noticed other threads where the original poster has not been around for years but the thread stays active because people keep posting answers (including me). Is this normal here or is it the exception?

We deal with this on a case by case basis. In some cases if a member posts on a very old thread and they should have their own, we move it to a new thread. Some members will flag the post when they see this. Please feel free to flag anything you feel would do better in its own thread. Some times the member just posts offering their own experiences and it wouldn't make sense for the post to be in its own thread so we leave it. If we notice, we do point out to them that it is an old thread.

 

[LTS3]

I think some people post their question and do come back to read the responses and lurk on TCS in general but only as a guest (not logged in).

 

[raysmyheart]

In my opinion, there are so many factors that come into play. Depression problems, health issues, money problems that may have caused one to give up internet access, parental supervision, etc. Maybe one of these things made the poster not respond. Often these posters are very much on my mind during the day and in my prayers. I love how special cats are and how they bring people together on this site, even if it is one posting. These are just my takes. I love how accepted Speedy and I are at Thecatsite because I suffer from depression and often just listen in on threads because I feel among friends and members still accept us that we cannot afford a camera phone to post pics. I love when I can encourage other members. Try not to worry about the lack of involvement, that is what I say. This site is extremely well-moderated (which I love) that makes everyone valued. Just the fact that you read a post may be the encouragement someone needs! Thank you vyger for posting such a question that we all have thought about![/QUOTE]

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

That's one of the best examples of blending smileys and words I've seen today, R raysmyheart !

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

.
I honestly believe that some of it has to do with today's attention span, in that when someone decides





























.

 

[rubysmama]

I think people who post one thread and then disappear, just needed to tell someone what they were feeling at the time. Perhaps they do come back and read the replies without logging onto the site. But it is better when they, at least, post once more, either giving an update on their situation, or thanking the people who took the time to respond.

I don't even want to read about the person who ran over their own cat, as it sounds horribly depressing. I hope the original poster did at least come back and read the replies, and got some comfort from them.

The members I always wonder about, are the ones who post thousands of posts over a period of time, then disappear.

 

[neely]

As someone who joined TCS awhile ago, left and then came back after several years of being M.I.A. I can speak from personal experience. My family and I were dealing with a multitude of health related problems, e.g. our daughter, both our parents, and even our dog. When I was faced with one crisis after another I felt as though I didn't have time to come up for air let alone check in on the forum even though it may have been a good distraction for me. However, I can honestly say I'm happy to be back.

 

[kashmir64]

I joined only a few months ago. Mostly so that I could enjoy my love of cats with other people who also cared about them. And obviously, to change my avatar picture every 5 minutes. lol
But I was wondering the same thing. I never understood why people didn't come back. If for no other reason, than just to be part of something special.
The only reason I would leave, is if I could no longer get internet.

 

[StefanZ]

I think they often ask their specific problem in several different places at once, and when they get sufficient answer they abandon the other posts.