Aggression Or Play?

[thriftyredhead]

We got a new cat about two weeks ago. We currently have a three-year-old neutered male very submissive. We brought a two-year-old female cat home, and from the get go she hasn’t really liked the resident cat.

But we’re doing the Jackson galaxy way of introducing and taking it slow. And they seem fine through the door she doesn’t hiss, she doesn’t growl, she doesn’t do anything like that. So we’ve moved onto letting them see each other and to be next to each other while they are eating treats. That seems to be going OK although she’s kind of a pig and tries eat his treats but he doesn’t care. So after the treats are done she’ll walk around behind them and give the other cat a sniff, like sniff his tail he just kind a looks at her like what are you doing because when we first brought her home She would be aggressive toward him and swat At him and hiss at him.

At this point she still fine she just sniffs him and walks away, But the minute he gets up and walks away from her she’ll chase him and swat at him and hiss at him. Is she being playful or aggressive?

I’ve never had two cats before so this is new to me. I don’t want to have to take her back to the shelter but if she’s not going to get along with the resident cat she’s going to have to go because I can’t have fighting cats.

I also don’t want her to change the personality of the resident cat because he’s very sweet and loving and submissive.

She’s also pretty loving she likes her people but I just I don’t know she might have to be an only cat if she still showing aggression although I know it does take time for them to adjust.

They don’t have to be best friends but I don’t want the resident cat to be frightened of her and you know scared to be in his own house.

I’m not sure what my next step is.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. I've never had 2 cats at the same time either, so I can never tell from reading whether behaviour is playing or fighting.

Until other members reply, here's a link to an article on How To Safely Break Up A Cat Fight that mentions the body language to watch for to determine whether behaviour is real fighting or "mock fighting".

Here's another one on The Multi-cat Household

I'll also post the introductions ones, however, they may cover the same steps as Jackson Galaxy.

Introducing Cats To Cats
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I sometimes think that old adage, "No blood, no foul" was written about cats. If there is no fur flying and no blood on the floor, it isn't a fight, it is a heated discussion about who is going to be top cat, and the more you step in, the longer that discussion will have to last. Sometimes a cat's gotta say what a cat's gotta say. Now, if there is blood and wild screaming, step in. THAT'S a CAT FIGHT!

 

[thriftyredhead]

We had them out tonight and it waxed and waned. Sometimes it seems like they were chasing each other for play and other times someone screamed. No blood though. Maybe just a very strong difference of opinion. Our little female just wants to be the alpha cat. Maybe she will eventually get bored with our male cat and stop chasing him. I hope. They are stressing me out. I’m so afraid someone (probably our wiener of a male cat) is going to get hurt since both have their claws.

I’m trying hard to not intervene because I know that can make it worse and take longer for them to hash it out.

I sometimes think that old adage, "No blood, no foul" was written about cats. If there is no fur flying and no blood on the floor, it isn't a fight, it is a heated discussion about who is going to be top cat, and the more you step in, the longer that discussion will have to last. Sometimes a cat's gotta say what a cat's gotta say. Now, if there is blood and wild screaming, step in. THAT'S a CAT FIGHT!

 

[maggie101]

I need a new tablet. This repeated 5 posts

 

[maggie101]

 

[maggie101]

 

[maggie101]

 

[maggie101]

 

[maggie101]

Peaches thinks she's queen of my apt. 6 yrs old. Maggie is 5. Peaches plays when she wants to play so mostly at night I he a loud screach from her. Maggie likes to play at night. She startles Peaches sometimes and the fur on her tail poofs out. Peaches usually tolerates her. At night Peaches,owner of my bed, groans whenever she sees Maggie. I play with them separately

 

[Mamanyt1953]

You'll get there! And I LOVE that photo! It kinda says it all!

 

[inkysmom]

I've probably had twelve cats on my life so far, maybe more. And three large dogs. Had up to seven cats and a large dog altogether for about five years before the older ones started dying off.
So I'm used to multiple cat and dog antics. There can be all kinds of hijinks and unearthly screams and furniture and fur flying everywhere. If there's no blood or wounds requiring stitches, antibiotics or vet attention and everyone's using the litter box and not peeing or pooping anywhere they shouldn't and they all come running out when you open a can or shake a bag of treats, you're good.
Play can sound and look like murderous attacks. An occasional scratch on the nose or belly is nothing to stress over. Sound effects that sound like a horror movie is just them yowling out hunting simulation or figuring out who's place is higher in rank .
If one starts hiding and won't come out to eat, or starts peeing on the bed or furniture or there's blood everywhere and you're rushing to stitch up a cat at the local vet hospital at 3am that's not normal play or figuring things out.
Normal play can look and sound pretty scary.
And it takes much longer than a few days or weeks for two new cats to get used to each other and figure out hierarchy. If they like each other, play episodes will last forever. I repeat play isn't fighting.

 

[inkysmom]

Don't take her back to the shelter. It's only been two weeks and nothing you've described sounds like aggression. Give them real time to adjust.
You said they're stressing you out but you haven't said either of the cats sound stressed.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I often suggest small amounts of chamomile tea to destress cats. It will work just as well for you. Brew a cup, sweeten with honey (chamomile and sugar are NOT a good combination), and sip. Enjoy, and breathe deep! This is just so normal, although I will admit that it is destressing. This, too, shall pass!