I'm not exactly sure this category is where this thread belongs but it didn't really fit into any other category. First, let me start by saying this might become pretty lengthy but I will try to be least descriptive as possible and also put a "tl;dr" at the end. I have an almost 2 year old male cat who I've had since July 2016. He's very sweet and very spoiled but he doesn't have a mean bone in his body. Now, I just adopted a 13 year old cat on January 26. She was found by animal control as a stray and taken to my local shelter and then transferred to the adoption center at the PetSmart I work at, which is where I found her. She's also very sweet and all she wants is for me to be with her all day. I just found out from my local vet that she has a grade 3-4 heart murmur but is otherwise healthy. She warmed up to me pretty quickly and, in the past couple days, has been thrilled while exploring around the house. With all that being said, I'm starting to feel some adoption regret. There's two problems that I'm having.
The first is with my male resident cat, Del. He has no social skills, the last time he's interacted with other cats was when he was a baby and playing with his littermates. I wouldn't say he has a problem with Flower, the new cat, but he is constantly bugging her. Right now Flower is staying in my room and Del is only allowed in while I'm in there. When I do let him in, she'll peek at him but mainly just continue napping. However, he likes to go up to her and say hi and swat at her. There's no claws out and it's more of a "what the heck is this thing" swat. 90% of the time, Flower is sleeping so when he does this she'll hiss and sometimes growl, which I'm fine with since she is smaller than he is, I'm glad she stands up for herself. With him though, he'll back off for a few minutes and then take another swat, which results in her hissing again (repetition is key, right?). Well, after this cycle happens about five times or so, Del realizes that she's not actually going to attack him so he gets more persistent. He continues the swatting and the other night when I tried to let him figure it out, he actually jumped on top of her (still playfully, as far as I can tell), so she hissed some more and ran under my dresser and, had I not intervened, he was going to chase her. I've decided to back up and take the Jackson Galaxy approach to introducing them, however I work full time, different hours everyday, so it's hard to be consistent with feeding them separated together, if that makes sense. My stepdad can feed Del but as of now he's not too fond of Flower because she "bit him" (she only has one tooth), so he leaves the feeding to me. I'm not sure how else I should go about introducing the two, I've never had to introduce cats before and I'm at a loss.
The second problem isn't REALLY a problem but more of a guilt thing. Like I said, I work full time and often overtime, so there's between 40-45 hours a week that I'm not home. While I'm sure Flower is perfectly content sleeping all day, she absolutely loves when I'm there with her. When I try to leave my room in the mornings for breakfast she stares at me with her huge eyes and just this morning she's started pawing at my door if I'm gone for too long. The vet said that while her heart murmur could be caused by hyperthyroidism, it could also be caused by HCM, which could lead to chronic heart failure in the long run. When I get the results of her bloodwork, I'll be scheduling an echocardiogram to see what kind of condition her heart is in. All in all, she might not have a whole lot of time left and I feel bad leaving her alone if she's not going to be here long. Even if she doesn't have HCM, I feel so bad leaving her to go to work all day and then coming home just to split the rest of the time between her and the spoiled one crying outside my bedroom door. I don't have any concerns about putting out money to take care of her health problems, but I feel like I can't give her the amount of affection that she wants/needs. She's clearly very comfortable with me (she was licking my arm while I was trying to sleep last night) and I really would love to give her a forever home but I just can't help feeling the there's a better home for her out there.
Anyway, those are my struggles. Sorry for it dragging on a bit. My family doesn't know the first thing about cats and just keep saying to me "oh whatever you think," whereas my best friend just said "with the age difference, yeah it was probably a bad idea". Any help or support is appreciated
tl;dr: I'm struggling on introducing my young resident cat to a newly adopted senior cat and will gladly take suggestions. Also feeling some adoption regret, as I feel my senior cat may be happier in a home where she can get attention all day, as well as maybe being the only cat.
The first is with my male resident cat, Del. He has no social skills, the last time he's interacted with other cats was when he was a baby and playing with his littermates. I wouldn't say he has a problem with Flower, the new cat, but he is constantly bugging her. Right now Flower is staying in my room and Del is only allowed in while I'm in there. When I do let him in, she'll peek at him but mainly just continue napping. However, he likes to go up to her and say hi and swat at her. There's no claws out and it's more of a "what the heck is this thing" swat. 90% of the time, Flower is sleeping so when he does this she'll hiss and sometimes growl, which I'm fine with since she is smaller than he is, I'm glad she stands up for herself. With him though, he'll back off for a few minutes and then take another swat, which results in her hissing again (repetition is key, right?). Well, after this cycle happens about five times or so, Del realizes that she's not actually going to attack him so he gets more persistent. He continues the swatting and the other night when I tried to let him figure it out, he actually jumped on top of her (still playfully, as far as I can tell), so she hissed some more and ran under my dresser and, had I not intervened, he was going to chase her. I've decided to back up and take the Jackson Galaxy approach to introducing them, however I work full time, different hours everyday, so it's hard to be consistent with feeding them separated together, if that makes sense. My stepdad can feed Del but as of now he's not too fond of Flower because she "bit him" (she only has one tooth), so he leaves the feeding to me. I'm not sure how else I should go about introducing the two, I've never had to introduce cats before and I'm at a loss.
The second problem isn't REALLY a problem but more of a guilt thing. Like I said, I work full time and often overtime, so there's between 40-45 hours a week that I'm not home. While I'm sure Flower is perfectly content sleeping all day, she absolutely loves when I'm there with her. When I try to leave my room in the mornings for breakfast she stares at me with her huge eyes and just this morning she's started pawing at my door if I'm gone for too long. The vet said that while her heart murmur could be caused by hyperthyroidism, it could also be caused by HCM, which could lead to chronic heart failure in the long run. When I get the results of her bloodwork, I'll be scheduling an echocardiogram to see what kind of condition her heart is in. All in all, she might not have a whole lot of time left and I feel bad leaving her alone if she's not going to be here long. Even if she doesn't have HCM, I feel so bad leaving her to go to work all day and then coming home just to split the rest of the time between her and the spoiled one crying outside my bedroom door. I don't have any concerns about putting out money to take care of her health problems, but I feel like I can't give her the amount of affection that she wants/needs. She's clearly very comfortable with me (she was licking my arm while I was trying to sleep last night) and I really would love to give her a forever home but I just can't help feeling the there's a better home for her out there.
Anyway, those are my struggles. Sorry for it dragging on a bit. My family doesn't know the first thing about cats and just keep saying to me "oh whatever you think," whereas my best friend just said "with the age difference, yeah it was probably a bad idea". Any help or support is appreciated
tl;dr: I'm struggling on introducing my young resident cat to a newly adopted senior cat and will gladly take suggestions. Also feeling some adoption regret, as I feel my senior cat may be happier in a home where she can get attention all day, as well as maybe being the only cat.
