2-cat Home Becomes 1-cat Home . . . Should I Find Him A Companion?

[salttram]

Greetings cat-lovers . . . I'm in a bit of a quandary I need advice for. I hope this is the appropriate forum.

We have a very shy 4-year-old male (Smokey), and my wife and I just lost our sweet female tuxedo (Dex) of 22-years. I rescued the young male from the street in dire circumstances, but he is now a beautiful, healthy cat who is affectionate toward us, but afraid of anyone else. He is kept inside (large 2-bedroom duplex) at all times because of coyotes in the area. The older cat, a female who became blind 5-years ago, never took a liking to him, as she was previously queen of the house for 18 years, and would only hiss at, or take swipes at him as he tried to play with her or touch noses. However, he seemed to be fascinated by her, following and watching her from a safe distance. He has always had a very sweet demeanor towards the few cats I've ever seen him with.

The advice I seek now is whether I should try to find a companion for Smokey. He is sometimes all by himself, and I know he gets bored. He seems sad at not having Dex around anymore, and has been hiding ever since we took Dex away. I have a strong feeling that if we were to carefully introduce a very young cat or kitten, it wouldn't take long for them to make friends. Smokey is very playful, and his priorities in life are: first play, then affection, and only then food. Although I've never sought to own a cat, I love them, having had them all my life - always willing to rescue the ones I see that are truly in need that I can't find a home for. Both me and my wife are still broken up about losing Dex after having had her for so long, and I'm trying to not let that influence our decision. I know there are endless discussions about this online, but wanted to share our particular situation with you, hoping someone has experienced similar circumstances. Thanks for your time.

 

[Willowy]

It really all depends on the cat's personality. In this case, it sounds like he may appreciate a young companion. Not too young---kittens are pesty---but maybe around a year old.

 

[GoldyCat]

Are you in a position to foster? If you are that can be a way to see how your boy reacts to another cat in his home without you making a long-term commitment first.

If you don't want to foster you might try volunteering at a local shelter. That will give you a chance to get to know the kitties that are available for adoption and learn their personalities.

When you are ready to bring another kitty into your family you should consider a 2-3 year old rather than a kitten. With an adult you have a better chance of knowing their personality ahead of time, plus your kitty might deal better with a cat closer to his own age.

 

[Furballsmom]

I am very sorry to hear of your loss of your beloved Dex

Regarding Smokey - do you have a away to put up a camera to see what he actually does, or doesn't do, when you're gone and he's all alone?

Do you have toys, including a laser light (although I'm not really a fan, this can help to keep him active) a wand toy for more interactive play, platter style toys, food puzzle toys, cat tree(s)?

Maybe something in these might help - they're somewhat short, but informative.

Do Cats Mourn?

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

Playing With Your Cat: 10 Things You Need To Know

Your Second Cat: How To Choose The Best Friend For Kitty

How To Make Your Home Bigger (at Least For Your Cats)

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Well, Furballsmom beat me to it with the articles I was thinking of, and added a couple that didn't occur to me. So I'll only add...don't be in a rush on this. Give him a little while to mourn. Once that has happened, you'll know. He'll either continue to miss her and mope, or he will come out of his shell. Then the decision is made for you.

I am so sorry that you lost your precious Dex. If you would like to, please feel free to post a tribute to her here: Crossing the Bridge

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[salttram]

Thanks to all . . . some great perspectives and suggestions. I think the "not rushing it" suggestion is the way to go, but I was also thinking having a swift, seamless transition might be good too . . . but probably unlikely. Smokey's got lots of places he can retreat to if a kitten is too much . . . and sometimes he thinks he's a kitten too. They're all precious, and I just don't want to cause any more loneliness or upset.

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[Hellenww]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

It does sound like he would enjoy a companion. Twice we've adopted cats for another cat in the house. We had a 14yr old male that had tried to "mother" the other cats but none of them wanted anything to do with him for his whole life. When he eventually became an only cat I got a kitten. She was full of energy but he did love watching her play. He was a very big cat so he just held her still when she got on his nerves.

Another time when we became a 1 cat house I sought out a personality match for our hyper alpha cat. I found a young cat who liked other cats but was happy not calling the shots. These 2 ended up not needing an intro period.

My advise is don't act right away. Visit shelters or pet stores that have a rescue section. This will help you gauge when your heart has healed enough to let another furbaby in. At that point if you haven't already found one contact a rescue and discuss the age and personality range your looking for.

 

[catlover73]

An older cat can actually get along with a kitten though depending on the cat's personality. I adopted a 6 week old kitten into a household with 2 bonded male brothers who were 11 years old at the time. This was not even planned. A friend's mom rescued a kitten who was abandoned out a car window on to their property while she was walking her dogs. Her dogs wanted to eat the kitten. They brought her to my friend's house thinking another relative would adopt her after one of their cats passed away. That relative was not ready to adopt a new cat yet. My friend's were going to try to keep her but one of their cat's wanted to kill her. The poor little girl was locked in their powder room to keep her safe from their cat. We went over to see her after they called us. We decided we would adopt her if we could provide her with a safe environment. One of my boys took to her immediately and taught her manners. The other one was scared of her initially but once she learned manners they bonded quickly. This tiny little kitten was a munchkin with short legs and could not really jump much. My boys could easily get away from her when they needed to. I never really had to do a true introduction either. This tiny 6 week old baby is now my 12 year old Starbuck.

 

[danteshuman]

Hi, I'm so sorry you lost your beloved cat!

I think the right companion is a grea idea for your shy boy. I would suggest an exceedingly calm confidant 4-6 month old well socialized kitten. I would explain your situation to a local cat shelter. I would ask for suggestions and when they think they have found the right cat, you can foster to adopt.

Why calm and confident? So when your scaredy cat freaks out the other cat can say "Dude there is nothing to be afraid of, look everything is fine!" Thereby giving your frightened Smokey can have a buddy, plus someone to take his cues from.