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I'm 0 for 2.....

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
Jeeze guys. I'm having such a hard time emotionally right now. I had another miscarriage. This pregnancy lasted a little longer than the first. The doctors still say that there isn't anything wrong with me, but I'm begining to wonder. I mean, she told me last time that my next pregnancy should be completely normal. Now I don't know what to think. I am so undone.

I've decided that we should take extra precautions for a while, I just don't want to go through all of this again. Maybe in a year or two we can try again and hopefully everything will go ok. I know that some of you have and are going through the same thing. I guess I just had this misconception that everything would be fine, and that there was no need to worry. I don't know what to think now. I don't know what to do anymore. I know that I am still young and have plenty of time, but that dosen't really matter to me right now. I can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong. I take good care of myself. I just don't know. My best friend just found out she is pregnant, and they aren't married and weren't trying. I'm doing my best to be happy for her, because she is SO excited and I want to be too, but its really hard right now and I'm afraid its going to hurt our friendship. I don't want it to, but its kinda hard to be around her right now and hear them talk about planning for the baby and stuff. It hurts.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent a little. At least I can come here and get away from it all, sorta.
post #2 of 24
I have never been through this, i am so sorry for your loss though.
post #3 of 24
Oh hun So many hugs for you today.

I can only imagine how much pain you are feeling right now, and then learning that your best friend is pregnant.... without even trying.

We thought that we were pregnant, but weren't... and that hurt too, but I can only imagine going thru this again, especially when you knew you were pregnant.

Sending you many prayers and vibes.... you know we're all here for you, always
post #4 of 24
I am so sorry. Sending lots of good and comforting vibes your way.

post #5 of 24
Thread Starter 
Thank you all so much. Kenz, I was actually just reading through your post, I missed it yesterday somehow. I'm really sorry that things didn't work out the way that you hoped. I know exactly how you feel. I dread that special time of the month now. I wish I didn't even know when to expect it, so I wouldn't know if I were late or on time. Its quite an emotional rollercoaster isn't it?
post #6 of 24
I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. The oly thing I can offer you is prayers and vibes that maybe while you *aren't* trying it will happen. I just want to cry for you right now! Its terrible to know that someone who wants a child desperately is having such a hard time and the ones who weren't planning are having one. Maybe some of your friends pregnancy hormones will rub off on you and you will be able to carry to term!
post #7 of 24
I'm so sorry. I just wanted to give you a little hope. My sister-in-law had a very normal, "perfect" first pregnancy. Accidental, actually. A few years later they decided to have another kid. Now that they were planning for a baby, she had miscarriage after miscarriage. I know of 5, but I know there's more because they stopped telling people until the fetus survived two months. She was normal and healthy and the docters couldn't figure out why she was having so many miscarriages.

Almost three years ago she finally gave birth to her second child, the most gorgeous little blonde haired, blue eyed baby ever.

It will happen.
post #8 of 24
youre in my thoughts
post #9 of 24
I'm sorry to hear, this I had a miscarriage many years ago and could never get pregnant again even after fertility drugs. So the one good thing is you Can get pregnant, it might not seem like a plus but it is. I know this is so hard, and I wish I had words of wisdom for you but I can only offer my prayers and
post #10 of 24
Hugs to you - please know that YOU are NOT doing anything wrong. Sometimes this stuff just happens, it has absolutely nothing to do with anything you did or didn't do. That doesn't make it easier to bear, I know, but please don't beat yourself up about it!

I know of several women that went through the same experiences, and all of them now have healthy, wonderful babies that they gave birth to naturally. In one instance, I know a woman that had 8 miscarriages, adopted two children, then had a natural birth!

Another woman I know, a former coworker, had 5 miscarriages, then went through invitro, and gave birth to a healthy boy last Thansgiving Day - what a day of joy for that family - we all shared in it.

I know it is heart-wrenching to go through, but there are lots of success stories. Just please don't be so hard on yourself! Everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know why at the time.

I'm sending you lots of emotional healing vibes and mental hugs!!!
post #11 of 24
I'm so sorry it wasn't time for this baby to be brought into the world
I hope that one day you have a house full of babies
post #12 of 24
I'm really sorry to hear you had another miscarriage I can imagine how heartbreaking it must be. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
post #13 of 24
I'm soo sorry sweetie. I can't imagine how heartbeaking this must be for you.
I would definitely have a second or third opinion form a different doctor just to ease your mind and rule out certain things. Please keep your chin up. My friends mother had 4 misscarriages before she had my friend- I know it's hard....but try to hang in there. You are in my prayers and thoughts. (ps. it's ok to be upset or a little jealous when those around you wind up married,pregnant, with a good job...etc...before you do.. it's a normal reaction- you're not alone) Please feel free to pm me if you need a friend to talk to or just want to vent. I'd be happy to listen (((((vibes))))
post #14 of 24
I am so sorry, honey. I will be thinking of you. please know that we're here for you.
post #15 of 24
Sorry to hear your sad news, hang in there and keep having faith, one day it will be ok. I also agree to getting more opinions medically. Sending love an hugs to you xx
post #16 of 24
I am so sorry that you had this happen to you.I know no words will ever take away the pain,but I do pray that God and his Angels help you get over your loss.
When I got pg with my second son, we had tried for 9 months......I went in for my ultrasound.The Tech told me that I was expecting twins.I was excited UNTIL they saw the second baby had no heart beat.I was devistated.Even though I had a baby, I mourned for the loss of his brother or sister regardless.
As far as you doing something wrong, DON"T even think it!!! Maybe your cervix is not strong enough and they may think of stitching it shut for a bit when you try again.Just take time and let your body and mind heal.
I would also suggest a second opinion.
Don't give up hope!!! Major hugs coming your way.
post #17 of 24
Oh hon! I have never been thru that before, I can only imagine your pain. Please know your in my thoughts and prayers.
post #18 of 24
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for your kind words and understanding. I am definately considering getting a second opinion, I'm just not sure if I want to persue anything like that at this point. I think I'll wait a bit and give myself some time to heal. Then I'll really see what all my options are. Hopefully its just a series of unfortunate events and next time everything will turn out fine. You guys have really given me hope, and made me feel a bit better. If I do go back to the doc for more tests soon, I will for sure keep you all updated!
post #19 of 24
I am so sorry for your loss. I can totally relate to what you are saying.... and I guess that it's normal for you to feel that way, because I feel the same way too. I have never gotten pregnant, so I do not know the heartache & disappointment you are feeling...I can only imagine how horrific this time must be for you. In the 2 years we have been trying, my SIL has gotten pregnant on accident twice while using contraceptives, my baby sis (21yrs old) got pregnant, my 16 yr old cousin got his girlfriend pregnant, and my other SIL (not married, 23 yr old) is pregnant now, my SIL's mom got pg and had a baby boy (at 42yrs old), and 4 girls at work got pg and had babies. I have had a hard time myself dealing with it all. And people never stop to think about your own personal He** as their complaining about their pregnancy and weight gain. I feel your pain.....and will keep you in my prayers.
post #20 of 24
awww sweetie BIG HUGS keep your chin up, if the dr's cant find a reason than it may not be time it, i had 4 miscarriages before having my oldest than 3 before my youngest. its hard thats for sure, they never found a reason for mine either but just know there is hope hun, if you every need a shoulder *sticks hers out* chin up sweetie HUGS HUGS HUGS know you are in my thoughts
post #21 of 24
I am so sorry - it must be just about the worst thing that can happen, especialy when you want a baby so much. Good vibes for the future, whenever you decide it is the right time to try again.
post #22 of 24
I am very sorry for your loss! My Mom, my sister and I each had one miscarriage. We also each had 4-5 healthy births. I think if you really knew how many women have miscarried one or more times, you would know that it is not terribly unusual. This does nothing to ease the pain of loss, but it does suggest that your next pregnancy will likely be perfectly healthy.

However, if it was me, I would be a worrywart after two miscarriages. I would try a second opinion with another MD who could offer another perspective. And before you decide to try again, meet with an OB who will monitor you closely.

My 7 y/o son Shane exists because my OB discovered I had low hormone levels which caused a miscarriage previous to him. Something as simple as hormone replacement corrected the problem. While I am certain your OB has checked everything fully, and did anything possible to help...if it would ease your mind at all, get another opinion!

Hugs to you as your heart heals from this painful loss. Maybe you can look for a support group to help you cope with this unique pain.
post #23 of 24
Originally Posted by Beckiboo View Post
I think if you really knew how many women have miscarried one or more times, you would know that it is not terribly unusual. This does nothing to ease the pain of loss, but it does suggest that your next pregnancy will likely be perfectly healthy.

I've heard that as many as 75% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, but only a fraction of that know its a miscarriage rather than a period. I feel so bad for you. See another MD, try the cervical circlage if its recommended. I'm sorry you are going through this...
post #24 of 24
I am very sorry for your loss. If it were me, when you are ready to try again, I would request a consult with a specialist and have a genetic workup...get all your questions out there, reassure yourself by doing this prior to getting pregnant the next time. Fear of the unknown is a stressor you don't need, and this could allay some of your concerns.
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