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WAL-MART APPLICATION - this is soooo funny

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
WAL-MART APPLICATION


This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny.....


NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy *******)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

! REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!
On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old People Rock!
post #2 of 15
Oh my gosh! How funny!!
post #3 of 15
He sounds like he'd be good for Walmarts image, especially as the front door greeter. I'm sure he'd bring a laugh or two to shoppers entering the store.
post #4 of 15
I'd make that guy my new bestfriend!!!

ahh, you gotta have some humor now a days!
post #5 of 15
Hummm.....I wonder if he is single.
post #6 of 15
post #7 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enuja View Post
Glad for the clarification. But I found the whole thing very entertaining just the same
post #8 of 15
i didnt think it was real, because I never hear 75 year olds say "it sucked" thats more something of our younger generation
post #9 of 15
This is so funny!
post #10 of 15


Real or not, that sure did make me laugh out loud! Do you think if I start filling in application forms like that someone will give me a job?
post #11 of 15
That is so cute!! Good for a giggle first thing in the morning!
post #12 of 15
Hehe. It doesn't seem like the slimmest possibilty it's real, but cute all the same.
post #13 of 15
I've seen that before, it's still cute to think of a grumpy old man giving those answers......
post #14 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by fwan View Post
i didnt think it was real, because I never hear 75 year olds say "it sucked" thats more something of our younger generation
Well, my mom said that a few years ago (she's 77 now) and my niece almost had heart failure.
post #15 of 15
That is hysterical!!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!!!! I was laughing the entire time i read it!
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