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I have a question on behalf of a friend

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Ok.. Well I will try to make this as understandable as I can. Well my friend has 3 cats in her house, one is her moms, and 2 are her fiances..And her fiance just moved in with his 2 cats like 3 mo or so ago, Maybe a bit less.. And she has her 3 yr old son,and he has a 11 or 12 yr old daughter that visits on the weekends. Well that kinda sets up the household, ooo My friend is pregnant now, she is due in March..

Well the last time she was at the docter, they told her she is NOT alowed to touch the kittys, clean up after them or anything... pretty much to avoid them at all costs *She had toxemia with her first son,and with the kittys they fear she could get it with this one* Soo.. with the fiance sitting there when this was said, he knows she isnt allowed to...

Well the male cat *Blk cat* (the other of his is a White female, Both fixed and about 19mo old) has been pooping and peeing all over the house..last night did it in his daughters bed.. Not sure why.. If the fiance is home, he wont do it.. ONLY When he isnt there.. and no one is, or if she*my friend* is home.. :-/ weird right? Well she has been fighting with him over it, cause she has to clean up after it when she gets home.. which she isnt surposed to.. And she tried locking the kitty in the bathroom with the litter pan, and he didnt touich the litter. ... She got a cage to put him in with a litter pan (Like i recomended from what i was told with trouble) and he wont put the kitty in there.. :-/ And she fears because of this cat, they will seperate.. They fight over it often, and she doesnt know what to do.. he gets soo mad about her talking to him.. it has gotten to where she didnt come out of the room last night cause the litter pan smelled to bad.. and she told him till he cleaned it she was staying in the room, and because of that, he never even cleaned it.. :-/ Her mom did.. *mom lives in the garage apt of the house,and was over* I think he is acting very immature, and she has said just make him a outside cat then, if you dont wanna get rid of him.. But he wont do that either.. And now he is tring to blame this behavior on her son.. Which I dont and she doesnt think it has anything to do with it. But the kitty hasnt done this ever before, and he has had the kittys since like 5 or 6 weeks old... rly young.. Soo Sorry this is soo long, But I am tring to get advice for her, so she doesnt end up loosing her fiance over a kitty.. :-/
So any help would be appreciated..

Thanks
post #2 of 18
Did the cat's pooping and peeing all over the house happen when your friend became pregnant? Some cats are overly sensitive to smells and new things and when you are pregnant you smell completely different. I think you said the cat does this only when her fiance is not home? I would think maybe the cat is reacting to the different smell of the pregnant woman, thinks it is someone else maybe? I don't know how to adress the fact that she had the Toxemia because normally i would say that a pregnant woman can have cats and clean litterboxes as long as she is careful and wears gloves and washes afterwards, but since she actually had the sickness there may be more danger there then I realize.

I would add some more litterboxes throughout the house, there should be one per cat plus one extra. Put a different litter in one maybe and make sure they are always clean. Also pick up some Feliway plug ins and put them all over but most importantly where the cat is going to the bathroom. Or you can get the Feliway spray (or both) to spray directly on the bed.
post #3 of 18
Sounds to me like her problem is with her fiance!
post #4 of 18
Thread Starter 
Yea.. I told her to try another litter maybe it was the litter.. and i Told her to get a 2nd box.. And she said she cant keep buying stuff for the kitty.. that he wont take care of.. *she is ok with animals, But would be ok without them* I think she wants him to take resposibilty of the kitty,that he claims how much he loves and doesnt want to get rid of.. :-/ But I will tell her to try getting another litter pan,and use a different type of litter in it,and see if it helps.. But she said why would he poo and pee in there, when her fiance is home, but not when he is not around.. soo I dunno.. :-/ I Will keep you updated
post #5 of 18
Thread Starter 
if it is because she is pregnant, then what can she do to stop it? She cant stop
"Smelling pregnant" Lol
post #6 of 18
I think this woman has far more serious problems than the cats. I had two inside cats, and my husband developed serious allergies. There was never a question as to what to do. We began to look into other ways for us to keep our cats. They now live outside in a cat enclosure. They are never allowed inside our home. They do come onto a screened in back porch, and my husband can sit on the porch and enjoy them as I do. He just has to be careful to always wash his hands and change clothing if the pets them. I wouldn't want to live with someone who put their cats above me and health issues.
post #7 of 18
Your friend should not be touching the cat litter at all.

The incontinent kitty should be kept in a separate room from the others with his own litterbox and food bowls, and the fiancee MUST clean up after him. If not, the cat will have to go.

if the can't come to an arrangement before something serious happens to your friend and the baby, the problem is a lot worse than it seems. Her problem is NOT with the cat. Better work this out now. The fiancee has to grow up and take some responsibility for his pet--and do it quickly.
post #8 of 18
I hate doctors that keep that myth alive!

She should have someone else handle the litter box if possible. But she can pet, hold, etc any of the cats.

As long as they are not outside cats that come in contact with mice/rats and they do not eat raw food (especially the hamburger), then her cats are safe to be around.

She has higher risk of getting tox, from eating/handling raw hamburger and not washing her hands properly, then she does from the cats.

Whoever cleans the pans, should clean them at least twice a day and not let the poop sit in there.
post #9 of 18
If I understand this right, you said there are 3 cats who are realtively new to each other and you said you would talk to her about getting a " 2nd box" .......

Especially if these cats are new to each other, they each need their own litter box. She should have at least 4 boxes in the house. Cats are very territorial with their pee and poo, by their instincts.

Tell her to add the right amount of boxes and see if this eliminates the cats poo issues. He may be scared to use the litter box when his "owner" is not around.

And her fiancee needs to be on scooper duty everyday.
post #10 of 18
Thread Starter 
hehehe yea he is being a pan.. *rolls eyes* Men uh.. lol. And There is a female in the house that insnt spayed.. yet.. the cat was surposed to go with her mom to the garage apt,when it was finished being renovated.. but she hasnt.. yet.. :-/ and the other two have been using the same pan since they got together.. with no probs.. I told her it is probably the change in environments and the aditional kitty.. and family members all the time now.. And she is just getting so over it.. She is tring to make this healthy for her and her unborn baby,But he is being difficult.. :-/ I wish I was able to help her more, But I cant, I have more on my hands then I need right now as it is! lol I will talk to her when I get out of work,and tell her to try another box, and a different litter and see if that helps. *Crosses fingers* Thanks to all the help!
post #11 of 18
Thread Starter 
Pami, why would he be scared to use it when he isnt around!? They wouldnt ever hurt the kitty at all! NONE of em.. even her son is good with them.
post #12 of 18
Toxemia (or toxoplasma) is mostly transmitted from raw, unproperly cooked meat...but if your friend is at risk like her doc said, her fiance should AT LEAST have the decency to accommodate the cats elsewhere..Would it kill him to just keep the cats outside in an enclosure or lend them to a cat--sitter temporarily just until she gives birth??? And also, if he claims himself to be responsible and "caring(!)" for these cats, how come he wont even raise a finger to clean their litter box? Even my ill grandma makes sure her cats litter is clean first thing in the morning! She has to go through thyroid surgery next month and is in REALLY ill health right now but your friends "petty" fiance (im sorry to say) cant even compete with my granny even at her state of health!!!

He thinks more of his cats then his fiance. Nows thats a REAL issue for her to think over! Has he got something against her or what? Hes doing everything he possibly can to make her life miserable!!! But he just cant think of the fact that he'll be the one who'll be sorry if something should happen to her fiance or the baby...You have to tell them to talk to eachother properly about this problem..

Firstly, they MUST get the unspayed kitty fixed. That could really help big time. And secondly, those cats HAVE to go outside for a while until she skips birth.
I LOVVVE my kitty too, like no one else could ,but I would always put my own babys and partners health before her. I would never get rid of my cat, NEVER...but there are ALWAYS alternative ways to get around problems...
All he's doing is ignoring everything and pretending theres nothing to deal with...
post #13 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by sahara View Post
Toxemia (or toxoplasma) is mostly transmitted from raw, unproperly cooked meat...but if your friend is at risk like her doc said, her fiance should AT LEAST have the decency to accommodate the cats elsewhere..Would it kill him to just keep the cats outside in an enclosure or lend them to a cat--sitter temporarily just until she gives birth??? And also, if he claims himself to be responsible and "caring(!)" for these cats, how come he wont even raise a finger to clean their litter box? Even my ill grandma makes sure her cats litter is clean first thing in the morning! She has to go through thyroid surgery next month and is in REALLY ill health right now but your friends "petty" fiance (im sorry to say) cant even compete with my granny even at her state of health!!!

He thinks more of his cats then his fiance. Nows thats a REAL issue for her to think over! Has he got something against her or what? Hes doing everything he possibly can to make her life miserable!!! But he just cant think of the fact that he'll be the one who'll be sorry if something should happen to her fiance or the baby...You have to tell them to talk to eachother properly about this problem..

Firstly, they MUST get the unspayed kitty fixed. That could really help big time. And secondly, those cats HAVE to go outside for a while until she skips birth.
I LOVVVE my kitty too, like no one else could ,but I would always put my own babys and partners health before her. I would never get rid of my cat, NEVER...but there are ALWAYS alternative ways to get around problems...
All he's doing is ignoring everything and pretending theres nothing to deal with...

Or her husband should at least have the deciency to clean the litterbox himself.

All I have to say/repeat about this situation is this:

-spay the unspayed female
-buy more litterboxes

I can almost guarentee that the reasons the cat is going to the bathroom on the bed is:

-pregnant woman in the house
-unspayed female cat
-not enough litterboxes

The last reason there is an easy fix, buy more boxes. You cannot get away with one box for three (right? three?) cats. You need more.

The second reason is pretty easy to fix but costs a bit more. But for the kitty's health and for the sake of the other cat going on the bed, this is very important and easy enough to get done. Find a low cost clinic if it is too expensive.

The first reason is not something that can be changed. If the other two things don't stop or help the problem, then confine the cat to a smaller room with food and a litterbox of his own uintil after the baby is born.

There really is not a whole lot else you can do.
post #14 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalhouse View Post
Pami, why would he be scared to use it when he isnt around!? They wouldnt ever hurt the kitty at all! NONE of em.. even her son is good with them.
Not afraid of the humans but afraid of the other 2 cats. If a cat does not want another cat using the same liite box, h/she will bully the other cat. And it can be very subtle. Cats who otherwise get along have issues with just the litter box and it can be as little as just one cat chasing the other cat away. But between cats they have communicated "I do not want you using my litter box".

Jen gave you excellent advice !
post #15 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pami View Post
Jen gave you excellent advice !
Thank you!
post #16 of 18
Thread Starter 
thanks guys for all the advice.. And I THINK There MAY be 2 boxes.. one for the Unfixed female that was in the house before he moved in with his,and the other two.. But the one female is her moms, so She wont spend money on her.. cause it isnt her resposability, which I dont blame her, it is enough makin money for the baby.. haha. And yes I Will tell her all ure idea when i call her tonight,and HOPEFULLY we can help this situation! Thanks soo much guys, I knew i could depend on you!
post #17 of 18
Seems to me that is a person can't be responsible enough to clean up and provide necessary items for their pets then they aren't qualified to be considering marriage.

Cats need ample litter boxes, (one for each cat plus one), as has been pointed out. Cats that aren't fixed should be. All cats need to have up to date vet care if that hasn't been taken care of. UTD, such as shots, flea treatments and checked for any illnesses. Stress can casue illness in cats and the one or two that are eliminating where they shouldn't ought to be checked for UTI's, etc.

The situation sounds like an out of control zoo and then the animals are introduced into the mix. Poor cats probably would like a nice peaceful place to reside. (I know, shame on me, but I just couldn't resist)
post #18 of 18
Hi - Just to clarify things a bit - toxemia of pregnancy is due to high blood pressure, kidney problems, etc. Toxoplasmosis is another thing entirely, and can be caused by used cat litter/soiling, etc. If the cat isn't scrupulously clean at any given time and she picks it up, cuddles, etc., it could possibly aggravate or even provoke toxoplasmosis. It will not cause toxemia!
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