I think I'm an alien

marie-p

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 1, 2005
Messages
2,568
Purraise
1
Location
Unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the
Do you ever get the feeling that you just can't interact normally with other people? I was in class today, sitting next to some guy I really like. We always talk before class and such. Well today we had a break during our class and we both stayed in the class during the break, talked a bit but mostly we just both sat there alone in silence. I just kept asking myself if I should try to start another conversation... or if it would just seem like me talking for the sake of talking. I'm not very good at starting conversations anyways. I just end up sounding weird.

I really don't know how to interact with people. I think that for some reason, I never learned normal human behavior as a child. I can remember at some point when I was probably in grade 9 or 10 when my counselor actually told me that when I walk by people I know in the hallway, it's ok to say hi to them. Honestly, that was news to me! People kept saying I was just shy, but I'm pretty sure there was something wrong in my early education or in the way my brain was set up.
I've come a long way since then but I still often feel like I'm an alien who just ended up on earth for some reason. I would need a book about "human interaction for dummies".
 

rubsluts'mommy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 1, 2005
Messages
2,211
Purraise
11
Location
On the west side of... of... somewhere.
why, hello fellow alien!

I'm the exact same way. I was always more at home with animals or by myself. My parents are virtually hermits, so I was raised with little outside interaction. We had a handful of neighborhood friends... but were encouraged to develop play by ourselves (of course this led to odd games being invented and me taking my brother's lego creations apart when he wasn't looking). Now, as an adult, I don't feel comfortable in many social settings, never approach men (I'm single, obviously), don't play well with others...

there are advantages to growing up with a sense of independence, but there are also drawbacks... which I'm discovering. I do wonder if I'm really an alien that got stuck here. I've been wondering that for years now.

My friends, when trying to come up with a 'monster' nickname using my real name, invented Amadalien. Granted it was supposed to be Amandalien, but the girl who came up with it goofed and left out the 'N' of my name. it stuck... and when you separate the words, it comes out A Mad Alien. Hmm... maybe my alien self should take some anger management courses...
 

MoochNNoodles

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
36,646
Purraise
23,463
Location
Where my cats are
Been there....I get along with most people. But sometimes I'll say something and people look at me like I just grew a third eyeball....usually that comes from a client. Way to feel stupid ya know? Then I convert back into the 3 year old who literally could not be heard even when I was speaking out loud and hiding behind my mommy. Or the awkward teen and pre-teen who felt like some sort of ok...alien freak!

I'm pretty quiet. If I don't have some quiet in my day I get real grumpy and just off kilter. (however you spell it!) Don't know what I'm gonna do once I have kids. DH is even more quiet. My Mom told me once that my step-dad, after Dh and I left their house, said "I wonder if they talk at home or if they just sit there and look at each other?"
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #4

marie-p

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 1, 2005
Messages
2,568
Purraise
1
Location
Unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the
Glad to know I'm not the only alien here


Maybe together we can figure out where our home planet is


Seriously, one of the thing that's really strange to me is that I love people. I want to be around people and I'm not happy spending a lot of time alone. So that makes my life pretty difficult at times.
 

catsknowme

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 2, 2005
Messages
11,458
Purraise
6,679
Location
Eastern California,USA
Years ago, a very dear friend (an elder) told me that people are usu. more focused on themselves. I had a very rough time in high school - I was still reeling from a bad experience (sex crime victim) and I was a nervous wreck, so I was very, very skinny and extremely shy - but as I got older, I finally took the advice to heart and realized that it is true. If you can get people to open up about themselves, they will have no lack of conversation material, and, IMO, evey life has a story - it's like getting to go the movies for free (and I almost always like the script
).
When I waited tables, I used to mentally categorize people as "cat people" or "dog people" referring to their behavior, not their preference in pets. If a "dog person" was being unpleasant, then I'd have to dominate them (pretending not to be able to hear, citing altitude change causing plugged ears works great) until they change their tone of voice to cooperation, but a "cat person" would either respond to respect or else we'd simply agree to disagree, but respectfully. The restaurant kept track of server sales and customer satisfaction, and I was in the top 4 for over 10 years, so my weird trick worked - for me anyway; my tip average was also excellent
 

theimp98

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 24, 2006
Messages
11,427
Purraise
2
Location
elyria, ohio
if you are could you please return elvis and bruce lee?


if you cant say hi, then try throwing a paper ball at him next time.

and then smile

that is one way to start some interaction
 

yayi

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Oct 9, 2003
Messages
12,110
Purraise
91
Location
W/ the best cats
Originally Posted by marie-p

Do you ever get the feeling that you just can't interact normally with other people?
Never be afraid of being yourself - that's my belief. PR is not my style which explains why I have less friends than the average person.
 

fwan

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
13,279
Purraise
2
Location
Australia
I know lots of people who will say hi to just anyone.
But if i know the people like if ive seen them more than twice i will yell out
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII" i know they think i am crazy but thats okay!

Anyway, i also have this "paranoia" that people dont like me.

I think two girls in my german course that i used to get along with now dont like me, they ignore me (atleast it feels like it) and they dont talk to me anymore during pause.
Ive missed out alot of this course due to being sick, appointments and the house.
I dont know about you, but i really miss having a girlfriend that i can talk to all day long and she wouldnt get sick of me.
Infact i broke down crying over the weekend because of this topic!

Now i dont know why i am telling you this, i am hijacking and venting in your thread! but i do feel like an alien because i have no female friend to vent to
and the ones i do are always working and have no time for me
 

krazy kat2

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 14, 2001
Messages
8,085
Purraise
41
Location
Somewhere in Georgia
I am like that, too. I always wonder if I am saying something stupid and will trail off before finishing my sentence. I don't post about half of the posts I write becaus they seem rambling or silly.
 

jenny82

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 19, 2006
Messages
5,773
Purraise
114
Location
Maryland
I feel the same way. I think a lot of it is that I care too much about what people think to really be myself sometimes. It's hard to let go of that and just stop caring what everyone thinks.
 

gailuvscats

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 30, 2006
Messages
2,283
Purraise
34
Location
philadelphia
If you can afford it, or have insurance that covers it, I would recommend therapy, or a 12 step group that might apply. Codependent? When I was younger I was so out of touch with my feelings. I had no idea of who I was, or what was making me tick. If you can't afford it, there are clinics that will take you on a sliding scale. It will be the best investment of your time and money you ever spend.
 

white cat lover

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
22,206
Purraise
35
Originally Posted by marie-p

Glad to know I'm not the only alien here


Maybe together we can figure out where our home planet is


Seriously, one of the thing that's really strange to me is that I love people. I want to be around people and I'm not happy spending a lot of time alone. So that makes my life pretty difficult at times.
Me too! I can yak, yak, yak, yak when I am comfortable around people, but otherwise I'm pretty quiet. I'd much rahter be at home alone with my kitties than out with people. I talk about cats & dogs too much. I bore people. All well.... I enjoy life as the "odd ball"...somebody has to be one, why not me? It makes me different from everyone else!
 
Top