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I think I'm an alien

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Do you ever get the feeling that you just can't interact normally with other people? I was in class today, sitting next to some guy I really like. We always talk before class and such. Well today we had a break during our class and we both stayed in the class during the break, talked a bit but mostly we just both sat there alone in silence. I just kept asking myself if I should try to start another conversation... or if it would just seem like me talking for the sake of talking. I'm not very good at starting conversations anyways. I just end up sounding weird.

I really don't know how to interact with people. I think that for some reason, I never learned normal human behavior as a child. I can remember at some point when I was probably in grade 9 or 10 when my counselor actually told me that when I walk by people I know in the hallway, it's ok to say hi to them. Honestly, that was news to me! People kept saying I was just shy, but I'm pretty sure there was something wrong in my early education or in the way my brain was set up.
I've come a long way since then but I still often feel like I'm an alien who just ended up on earth for some reason. I would need a book about "human interaction for dummies".
post #2 of 12
why, hello fellow alien!

I'm the exact same way. I was always more at home with animals or by myself. My parents are virtually hermits, so I was raised with little outside interaction. We had a handful of neighborhood friends... but were encouraged to develop play by ourselves (of course this led to odd games being invented and me taking my brother's lego creations apart when he wasn't looking). Now, as an adult, I don't feel comfortable in many social settings, never approach men (I'm single, obviously), don't play well with others...

there are advantages to growing up with a sense of independence, but there are also drawbacks... which I'm discovering. I do wonder if I'm really an alien that got stuck here. I've been wondering that for years now.

My friends, when trying to come up with a 'monster' nickname using my real name, invented Amadalien. Granted it was supposed to be Amandalien, but the girl who came up with it goofed and left out the 'N' of my name. it stuck... and when you separate the words, it comes out A Mad Alien. Hmm... maybe my alien self should take some anger management courses...
post #3 of 12
Been there....I get along with most people. But sometimes I'll say something and people look at me like I just grew a third eyeball....usually that comes from a client. Way to feel stupid ya know? Then I convert back into the 3 year old who literally could not be heard even when I was speaking out loud and hiding behind my mommy. Or the awkward teen and pre-teen who felt like some sort of ok...alien freak!

I'm pretty quiet. If I don't have some quiet in my day I get real grumpy and just off kilter. (however you spell it!) Don't know what I'm gonna do once I have kids. DH is even more quiet. My Mom told me once that my step-dad, after Dh and I left their house, said "I wonder if they talk at home or if they just sit there and look at each other?"
post #4 of 12
Thread Starter 
Glad to know I'm not the only alien here

Maybe together we can figure out where our home planet is

Seriously, one of the thing that's really strange to me is that I love people. I want to be around people and I'm not happy spending a lot of time alone. So that makes my life pretty difficult at times.
post #5 of 12
Years ago, a very dear friend (an elder) told me that people are usu. more focused on themselves. I had a very rough time in high school - I was still reeling from a bad experience (sex crime victim) and I was a nervous wreck, so I was very, very skinny and extremely shy - but as I got older, I finally took the advice to heart and realized that it is true. If you can get people to open up about themselves, they will have no lack of conversation material, and, IMO, evey life has a story - it's like getting to go the movies for free (and I almost always like the script ).
When I waited tables, I used to mentally categorize people as "cat people" or "dog people" referring to their behavior, not their preference in pets. If a "dog person" was being unpleasant, then I'd have to dominate them (pretending not to be able to hear, citing altitude change causing plugged ears works great) until they change their tone of voice to cooperation, but a "cat person" would either respond to respect or else we'd simply agree to disagree, but respectfully. The restaurant kept track of server sales and customer satisfaction, and I was in the top 4 for over 10 years, so my weird trick worked - for me anyway; my tip average was also excellent
post #6 of 12
if you are could you please return elvis and bruce lee?

if you cant say hi, then try throwing a paper ball at him next time.
and then smile

that is one way to start some interaction
post #7 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie-p View Post
Do you ever get the feeling that you just can't interact normally with other people?
Never be afraid of being yourself - that's my belief. PR is not my style which explains why I have less friends than the average person.
post #8 of 12
I know lots of people who will say hi to just anyone.
But if i know the people like if ive seen them more than twice i will yell out
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII" i know they think i am crazy but thats okay!

Anyway, i also have this "paranoia" that people dont like me.

I think two girls in my german course that i used to get along with now dont like me, they ignore me (atleast it feels like it) and they dont talk to me anymore during pause.
Ive missed out alot of this course due to being sick, appointments and the house.
I dont know about you, but i really miss having a girlfriend that i can talk to all day long and she wouldnt get sick of me.
Infact i broke down crying over the weekend because of this topic!

Now i dont know why i am telling you this, i am hijacking and venting in your thread! but i do feel like an alien because i have no female friend to vent to and the ones i do are always working and have no time for me
post #9 of 12
I am like that, too. I always wonder if I am saying something stupid and will trail off before finishing my sentence. I don't post about half of the posts I write becaus they seem rambling or silly.
post #10 of 12
I feel the same way. I think a lot of it is that I care too much about what people think to really be myself sometimes. It's hard to let go of that and just stop caring what everyone thinks.
post #11 of 12
If you can afford it, or have insurance that covers it, I would recommend therapy, or a 12 step group that might apply. Codependent? When I was younger I was so out of touch with my feelings. I had no idea of who I was, or what was making me tick. If you can't afford it, there are clinics that will take you on a sliding scale. It will be the best investment of your time and money you ever spend.
post #12 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie-p View Post
Glad to know I'm not the only alien here

Maybe together we can figure out where our home planet is

Seriously, one of the thing that's really strange to me is that I love people. I want to be around people and I'm not happy spending a lot of time alone. So that makes my life pretty difficult at times.
Me too! I can yak, yak, yak, yak when I am comfortable around people, but otherwise I'm pretty quiet. I'd much rahter be at home alone with my kitties than out with people. I talk about cats & dogs too much. I bore people. All well.... I enjoy life as the "odd ball"...somebody has to be one, why not me? It makes me different from everyone else!
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