Told My Parents

Well I went over this morning and told them that I was pregnant. My Dad flipped out and went into his room and didnt come out till I was about to leave. He gave me a hug though then and told me he loved me. My mom had a very very long talk with me. She said she didnt want that kind of life for me. That she wanted me to have a little fun before I had a baby. She didnt get a chance to and didnt want the same life she ad for me. I felt bad but then she started talking about other stuff. Like what I was going to do. She asked if I wanted to move back home. NOOOOOOOO! She thought I had waited forever to tell her because I told her how far along I was. She laughed at me when I said I had had no clue I was pregnant.

She also said that she will go to any doctors apointments I have with me and help me out any way she can. She also said it better be a boy. She also said that it really isnt that hard once you get the hang of having a baby around. She had 7 and she started at 16 (Dad was 15). So now I have to tell my employers. I'm a nanny so hopefully they will let me bring the baby along if not my mom said she will watch the baby. She said she has nothing else to do and misses having little ones around. The baby (my lil bro) is about to start driving in December so she's freaking out about that. Anyways I thought I would just let you guys know what was going on.

Also Thank you all for all the advice. I still dont know when I'm going to tell Stan (the dad). I really dont want to call him. He has a way of getting what he wants. Maybe I could have my mom call him. But I dont think I should. She would probably cuss him out and cause trouble. Plus thats kinda cowardly. Anyways THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You realize that it is YOUR CHOICE about telling a man that you admit is cruel and mean and you do not want in your life that you are having a baby that he fathered? If you have the support from your family that you've described and are planning on making a go of it on your own, IMO you would just be wasting your time dealing with him. Many women raise children alone, and the fact that you despise him and ended the relationship should be enough to tell you that he will not be the kind of dad you would want for your kid anyway.

JMO. You have the support of your family, your friends and the people here as well. That, my young friend, is all it takes.

Originally Posted by neetanddave

You realize that it is YOUR CHOICE about telling a man that you admit is cruel and mean and you do not want in your life that you are having a baby that he fathered? If you have the support from your family that you've described and are planning on making a go of it on your own, IMO you would just be wasting your time dealing with him. Many women raise children alone, and the fact that you despise him and ended the relationship should be enough to tell you that he will not be the kind of dad you would want for your kind anyway.

JMO. You have the support of your family, your friends and the people here as well. That, my young friend, is all it takes.

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I keep thinking that I shouldnt tell him. But I also think in a way he has the right to know that he has a baby. Not to mention that we still have some of the same friends. So I have crossed paths with him a few times. I just dont say anything to him and just leave. I dont want to be around him mainly because I dont know if I could keep away from him if I started talking to him again. So for now I'm not going to tell him. I might leave it up to my friends who know him. I know at least one of them will blab once I tell them. Although they may think it is John's baby. I'm not going to tell anyone who the father is other then my family. They will find out when the baby is born.

I've been following your threads about this, but haven't said anything yet.
Wow...
That was me. For sure. Except my baby's father knew right away. I think that is VERY important. But that's me.
Anyways-well you've gotton TONS of advice. And I agree with most if not all of it.
I am sending you good luck vibes, and please keep us updated. This shall be a wonderful little miracle you've got.
Oh, and they wont let you take the baby with you being a nanny. I checked into EVERYTHING that I could have brought baby with to work.
I ended up taking 6 months off of work while her father worked his butt off for us. But that's all stuff to worry about later.
Right now it's getting to the doctor, and getting checked out, and the pre-natal pills.
I've got tons more to say, but I've got to get ready for work. I just can't seem to stop typing today.

If the babys father is mean to you, then I wouldn't tell him. It'll just give him an excuse to be in your life and start to mess things up for you. If anyone asks, just say, I don't know, or why do you want to know? I agree, if you have to family support, then who needs a mean man to mess it all up??

All I can say is I think you are very brave, and to take care of yourself and that sweet little baby growing inside you!! How are you feeling by the way? Any morning sickness???

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! You have GREAT PARENTS I could hardly get to your update fast enough - my comp was loading slow, and, well, let's just say that the cats were glad that it wasn't THEM who was getting comments
Oh, this is going to be fun - a vicarious pregnancy thru TCS - I feel like I'm gonna be a grandma again I even bought a used book "A Midwife's Story" and can scarcely put it down. Just think - a future voter on the way, one who will be raised by a cat-lover
As for telling your ex - could you maybe inform him in writing and request that all correspondence remain thru mail (not even internet, as that can quickly become to intimate) at least until you have a chance to work this situation out with your new man. IT does seem lousy if he hears about it via friends, but if he doesn't know it's his, he might think that he dodged a bullet - although, controlling men LOVE pregnancy and babies as a way to control the "little woman".
Do follow your heart, but be sure to give your heart enough time to really feel, and your soul enough time to really listen. susan

I am so happy that your parents are suporting you and are being great about it!!!

Wow well I just saw all this and all I can say is you are lucky to have a supportive family. I had my first child when i was 19 and my dad didnt speak to me for 3 weeks as for the father, by law you do not have to tell him at all. if you think he would be a good father than tell him i guess, but if you think he will be just like any other idiot i wouldnt, i wish my oldest's father had never had to know but well we were engaged so i couldnt really hide it, now i wish i could get rid of him, my son has a great stepfather *shrugs*

keep your chin up and put those tootsies up occasionally and yes yes BELLY PICTURES!

Originally Posted by Malikitty

Wow well I just saw all this and all I can say is you are lucky to have a supportive family. I had my first child when i was 19 and my dad didnt speak to me for 3 weeks

as for the father, by law you do not have to tell him at all. if you think he would be a good father than tell him i guess, but if you think he will be just like any other idiot i wouldnt, i wish my oldest's father had never had to know but well we were engaged so i couldnt really hide it, now i wish i could get rid of him, my son has a great stepfather *shrugs*

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Great post! I agree with everything you said! If he's gonna be a loser, you and the baby are better off without him at all. He's already proved what kind of man he is by mistreating you and your cats, so it does not look good that he will be a quality parent.

Oh and dont let your mom laughing when you said you didnt know phase you, my first kid i didnt know i was pregnancy till i was over 3 months along. No blood tests and home tests said positive till than and i went in was told um your pregnant with a look of "doh" on the dr's phase lol. Some babies are sneaky like that (watch out means they will be when older, my oldest sure is ROFL)

I am so happy your parents are behind you!!! It will make it easy to have the support of them when the baby comes.

Originally Posted by neetanddave

You realize that it is YOUR CHOICE .

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sorry I know that many people in todays world seem to think that fathers dont count.
but they would be wrong.

The guy my be a jerk and several other things that are not nice to say here.
But he still needs to know. If for no other reason he helped to make it he should help with the bills that come with it.

Originally Posted by Malikitty

Oh and dont let your mom laughing when you said you didnt know phase you, my first kid i didnt know i was pregnancy till i was over 3 months along. No blood tests and home tests said positive till than and i went in was told um your pregnant with a look of "doh" on the dr's phase lol. Some babies are sneaky like that (watch out means they will be when older, my oldest sure is ROFL)

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OMG that's scary!!! I just went in yesterday and my test was negative (as well as both home tests), but I'm almost a month late and I just have this funny feeling.

Anyways, I'm so happy that your parents are being supportive of you! You can do this and they will be there to help and it won't be so bad.

As for the father, I would do what's best for your child and yourself. If you fear for your child's or your own safty around him or even mental or emotional health, I would not involve him if I were in your position, but you have to follow your heart and do whats best for you and your baby, because only you know what that is.

Originally Posted by neetanddave

You realize that it is YOUR CHOICE about telling a man that you admit is cruel and mean and you do not want in your life that you are having a baby that he fathered?

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That is the complete quote from my earlier post. All I said was that is is HER CHOICE to tell or not tell him. No one can decide that for her.

Things sure sound differently when taken out of context.

Originally Posted by fwan

I am so happy that your parents are suporting you and are being great about it!!!

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Me too!!

I am glad your family is being supportive.

You really really should tell the father. he may be a jerk, but it IS his child. like it or not. he does have rights.

Originally Posted by ScamperFarms

I am glad your family is being supportive.

You really really should tell the father. he may be a jerk, but it IS his child. like it or not. he does have rights.

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AND responsibilties. In most states in the US, he would be required to pay child support at the very least. I can fully understand and appreciate your not wanting him to be involved in the parenting process, but at the least, he should be involved in the financial assistance of raising a baby he helped to create.

Congratualtions! I am so pleased your parents are being supportive! What a weight off your mind

I agree, about informing the father. At the least, he needs to take some financial responsibilty. If you're not comfortable, confronting him, a letter would be a good way to do it.

Sometimes, when faced with fatherhood and responsibilities, men DO turn themselves around. I've had several friends, as well as my own son, who gave up booze, drugs and/or crime and became exemplary fathers.