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The Rules of Chocolate

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
If you have melted chocolate all over your hands you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in the hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet Tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated and workers would have no jobs, so eating chocolate is actually very patriotic.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
post #2 of 10
post #3 of 10
Finally! Rules I can live by.
post #4 of 10
Which reminds me, I haven't had my after lunch chocolate. How did that happen. Gotta go fix that NOW
post #5 of 10

Now where'd I put that chocolate bar.
post #6 of 10
Whew....good thing I just ate a piece of chocolate cake!!
post #7 of 10
Originally Posted by eilcon View Post
Finally! Rules I can live by.
I can live by those rules too!!!
post #8 of 10
hehe..I can't go a day without eating something chocolate.
post #9 of 10
My boss looks the other way, when he sees me pulling Hershey's kisses out of my purse (eating at work is a no-no). He knows that it keeps me from reaching through the phone and throttling someone.
post #10 of 10
That's me without my daily chocolate
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