Great! I'm Pregnant

4crazycats

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I am fairly new here but I really needed to tell someone that would be easy. I need to have a little rant and just talk (or type in this case). Anyways I went to the doctors because I had just been feeling really sick the past couple months. I honestly thought it was my IBS acting up but went in to the doctors because it just wouldnt get better. So they asked the regular questions and told me they wanted to do a pregnancy test just to rule it out. I havnt had sex in over 2 months! So I honestly didnt think I was pregnant. I had spotted a couple times and was happy because my period only lasted a day or two.


When the doctor told me I thought he was joking and then I had a mild freak out. Ok maybe a major one. I was crying and totally freaking out to be honest. He said "If you dont wont the pregnancy I can take care of it". I cant have an abortion it's against everything I believe in. I dont hold it against other women when they have one I just could never do it. So now I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to tell my family that I'm pregnant. And I have to tell my new boyfriend (not the baby's Dad). I really dont want to do that. Weve only been dating a month and who could ask a guy to stick around in a situation like that. It wouldnt be fair to him. I really like him too.

I have to tell my Ex too. I really dont want to he's such a jerk. We broke up because he went after Lily when she decided to spray his guitar one day. After that I packed up me and some clothes and my animals and left. I havnt talked to him since then. He was very mentally abusive to me. I dont want to tell him I'm pregnant. I really dont know what to do.

I do have a couple of questions though for those who have kids. Should I worry about changing the cat litter? I know I can get someone to do it for me if I really have to. Also what responses did you give people who said that you had to give up your cats because of toxoplasmosis? Or whatever it's called.
 

kluchetta

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Oh my gosh. Hugs! An unexpected pregnancy is SO hard. Seems like all of mine have been, ha ha.

I would look on the Internet a bit on Toxoplasmosis - I don't remember a lot, but here's what I remember...
- if you've had cats for a long time, you've most likely had it already
- you can get it as easily from handling raw meat as from scooping a litterbox
- it's not airborne - it's "on" the poop, so you should be able to either scoop in rubber gloves or wash REALLY well after scooping

NOW - THIS IS ONLY WHAT I REMEMBER AND I LAST HAD A KID 14 YEARS AGO! Please check it out, and I will too.

Lastly - I just had a scare myself, and I'm 43. Yikes - no way. But I know how your whole world just goes off it's axis. PM if you need to.
Kim
 
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4crazycats

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Originally Posted by kluchetta

Oh my gosh. Hugs! An unexpected pregnancy is SO hard. Seems like all of mine have been, ha ha.

I would look on the Internet a bit on Toxoplasmosis - I don't remember a lot, but here's what I remember...
- if you've had cats for a long time, you've most likely had it already
- you can get it as easily from handling raw meat as from scooping a litterbox
- it's not airborne - it's "on" the poop, so you should be able to either scoop in rubber gloves or wash REALLY well after scooping

NOW - THIS IS ONLY WHAT I REMEMBER AND I LAST HAD A KID 14 YEARS AGO! Please check it out, and I will too.

Lastly - I just had a scare myself, and I'm 43. Yikes - no way. But I know how your whole world just goes off it's axis. PM if you need to.
Kim
Thank you! I cant believe I didnt know I was pregnant. I'm 15 weeks. My doctor said that I might be able to tell the sex next week. It seems sooooo strange thinking there's actually something growing inside of me. Ive had cats all my life so I guess I have already had it. I'm only 19. I will be 20 in November though. This was definatly not what I wanted right now.
 

kluchetta

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I got pregnant with my daughter when my son was 12 weeks old. I was about 11 weeks along before I figured it out. But I thought I was 7. So when I was 4 months pregnant, I went to my appointment to have the doctor tell me I was 5 months gone. Yikes!
 
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4crazycats

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Originally Posted by kluchetta

I got pregnant with my daughter when my son was 12 weeks old. I was about 11 weeks along before I figured it out. But I thought I was 7. So when I was 4 months pregnant, I went to my appointment to have the doctor tell me I was 5 months gone. Yikes!
Wow that's very close together in age. Whew. He was only a week old when you got pregnant. You guys didnt waste any time. I thought you are supposed to wait like 6 weeks after you give birth?
 

fwan

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oh wow i really feel for you! i would too have a mental break down if i were in your situation!
I really hope everything works out for the best!

 

shadowsoul

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Wow, I hope you're taking it well, I would be frazzled if I get pregnant unexpectedly.
 

catsknowme

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Ahhh, the joys of womanhood, eh? What a huge dilemma for you. My oldest daughter was 19 and I was 20, when we got preggers for the first time. It can be tough since you're not set up in your life for it, but IMO, the most awkward situation is telling the family :shock: I am praying that your family will be supportive - you are such a good meowmmy, to have left your ex when it was going badly for them (Lily obviously gave him the right message
) that you are going to be a great mommy!

As for the ex knowing - that is a tough one
You certainly don't need him to use this as an excuse to start coming around, wanting to be involved - right now, you need peace and stability to grow that little life inside you. It will be a real challenge to tell your current sweeties, but it could be a good thing, too; hopefully, he will be understanding and if you two are going to be an item, it will be easier for him to be with the baby at the beginning, so it's more of a "father" thing than a "step-father" thing. My oldest daughter was born only a few months before I finally kicked out her biological father - I got involved with my next husband when she was barely 1 year old, and they considered each other "blood father-daughter".
As for cleaning cat boxes, you can use gloves, and your biggest risk for toxoplasmosis is going to be from eating undercooked beef
 

crittermom

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Do NOT change the litter.It is very important for you to get someone else to do it.If you have to, then wear gloves.
When I took Lilly to the Vets,they had a special poster up about illnesses that are passed between humans and animals and it said NOT to change the litter if you are pg and if you MUST, then wear gloves as a protection.I would also consider putting a hankerchief or something over your face so the ammonia smell doesn't make you vommit.
Be sure to tell your OB about the cat and litter box!!
here is a site
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dpd/parasi...oplasmosis.htm
As for waiting for 6 weeks, YES you are suppose to.But, sometimes things happen and your modd becomes one that you just don't want to wait.It is BEST though to wait as there is a higher chance of complications during birth.
I don't know about telling the ex either.It could go two ways.EIther he will be sincere and want to help,or he can be a jerk and do all the "head games" he can.
Good luck sweetie.I was only 19 when I got pg with my daughter.She is a VERY special friend of mine.

Here is another site about toxo
http://kidshealth.org/parent/infecti...plasmosis.html
 

jennyr

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It is a difficult situation and I hope you find the strength to get through it all. But once you have told everyone who needs to know, then I am sure it will be much easier. And, although it is hard, they will have to know, so it is better done as soon as possible. As for the new BF, he is more likely to freak out the longer you leave it, so if you tell him in the right way, and make clear you don't put any conditions on him, the more likely it is that he will want to stick around. And I do think you need to tell your ex - he has a right to know, and you may need support from him in the future. Again, if you leave it, he could start making all sorts of unpleasant claims, like it not being his. Have courage, get this part over with, and you can then begin to plan for the baby and enjoy your pregnancy. And don't worry too much about cat problems - I had two cats throughout pregnancy and always did everything for them as my husband wouldn't. Observe sensible rules of hygiene and I am sure all will be OK.
 

miss mew

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everything will be ok hon, I'm sure it's scary, I'm 28 and the thought of having a baby scares me, but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

I'm sure your family will be a bit freaked out when you tell them, but they will come around. As far as your ex is concerned I do think he does have the right to know, but be very upfront with him about what role you want him to play (if any)

I wish you the best of luck, and always know we are here to listen.
 

alaynna

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Everything will be ok.....


I am 6 weeks pregnant and I have 1 cat..it's better to have your cats indoor...but it's still ok if they are outdoor cats...but my dh changes the litterbox every day now...since I have had my cat for over 2 years now...I most likely have already had it and are now immune to it...so don't worry..
 

pombina

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Oh dear what an awful situation for you

I'm sure if you are careful around the litter and use gloves and wash your arms and hands afterwards then you will be fine.
As for the ex, although he sounds like an idiot, he does deserve to know he is going to be a father.
If you think he may try and convince you to have the baby aborted you could wait until you are too far along to tell him. Also if he does come back and say its not his you could agree to a paternity test.
I hope he is decent about it. I hope everything works out for you.
 

crittermom

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I agree that he NEEDS to know.I would just wait until you think it is best to tell him.
as for your new BF, the sooner you tell him.....the better it will be!That way it gives him the sense that you respect him enough to be honest with him up front.Also, he can see what he wants to do.
I hope your ex is nice about this all and is helpful with the baby,if that is what YOU choose.
Just be happy and take care of yourself cause you got a wonderful little bundle growing inside you now.
HUGS!!!
 

ilovesiamese

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Definately don't handle the litter if at all possible like everyone else has said.


I also am going for a pg test at the doc's office this afternoon (eek) and I'm 20 and I have a 3.7 year old, so being a younger parent and still setting up a great life is definately something that can be accomplished as I'm in my second year of university, married and doing pretty well for myself considering a lot of people don't believe it's likely most of the time.

Anyways,

I hope everything goes well with telling family and friends as well as your family. They may be more supportive than you know.

As for the BF, I think he might definately be appreciative if you are honest asap rather than later and I hope the Ex issues turn out ok.
 

phenomsmom

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Pregnancy is difficult and an unexpected pregnancy is even harder. My best friend got pregnant at 15. Yes 15. She is 20 now and her daughter is the most beautiful child. She has ended up helping her mom get out of bad situations that I doubt she would have gotten out of if she didn't have another human being to look out for. Now she is in nursing school and in the top of her class. Everyday life is a struggle. Keeping the house cleaned, laundry washed, and food on the table is tough for her. But she does it. It can be done and I am sure you will do wonderfully.

Tell the father when you are ready. If he doesn't want anything to do with her it may be easier for you. But make sure he does pay child support. Just becasue he is paying child support doesn't guarentee him visitation or custody either.

We are all here for you if you need to talk to us. Pm me if you want to talk.
 

angelkitty

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Wow.. Pregnancy is not easy , and unexpected makes it harder.. BUT,, a baby really is a wonderful thing! You'd be soo suprised how much your life will change for the better.. Just becareful around the litter.. Don't get rid of your cats because your pregnant,, just have someone help you.

As for telling the ex,, I'm gonna get heat on this one,, but I wouldn't tell him. If he really was mentally abusive and stuff, he may try everything he can to use this as his crutch,, my sister went down this same road. It's just me,, i wouldn't tell him.. But if you feel you should then go ahead,, he really should be held accountable, and pay child support and help you out with the child.

As for the boyfriend,, he needs to know right away.. Just explain it to him, and hopefully he'll be there for you during it. Men are suprise me sometimes.. So he might be very happy for you.. Are you 100% sure it's not his? Sometimes doctors aren't exact on this stuff,, so maybe the ultrasound can help you out. Trust me,, my doctor was off by over a month, until I did the ultrasound,, becuase I spotted, and then stopped when I had Bella...

If you need anythign at all.. Just pm me.. I know having someone to talk too, and being a new mother,, are always a good fit... Plus you always have your furbabies to talk too and they listen well....


Heather
 

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Congratulations. It may seem so stressful now, and like the end of the world, but know that this too shall pass. What seems like a big catastrophe now will be a beautiful miracle in 9 short months.... While your parents may be disappointed for many reasons now, they will love their grandbaby. Being able to conceive a child is a gift, try to see it as just that, despite all of the complications & headaches you are facing now. Be strong & courageous, you have a tough road ahead of you no matter what you choose to do. Being a parent is never easy, whether you are a single mom or married. But children are a precious gift, try to remember that while you face what seem like your biggest obstacles. I wish you the best of luck with everything.
 

katachtig

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Given that the ex has been abusive, I would recommend getting legal counsel. He has rights and responsibilities and I think you should know what you can expect from him.

Telling everyone else as soon as possible is the best approach. It is not like you can hide this. So congratulations and sending vibes to help you.
 

ugaimes

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I have absolutely no good advice that hasn't already been offered, but it cannot be said enough that anything happens for a reason and you will definitely make the decisions that are best for you.
 
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