Great! I'm Pregnant

4crazycats · Sep 15, 2006

Originally Posted by catsknowme

I am praying that your family will be supportive - you are such a good meowmmy, to have left your ex when it was going badly for them (Lily obviously gave him the right message

) that you are going to be a great mommy!

As for the ex knowing - that is a tough one

You certainly don't need him to use this as an excuse to start coming around, wanting to be involved - right now, you need peace and stability to grow that little life inside you. It will be a real challenge to tell your current sweeties, but it could be a good thing, too; hopefully, he will be understanding and if you two are going to be an item, it will be easier for him to be with the baby at the beginning, so it's more of a "father" thing than a "step-father" thing. My oldest daughter was born only a few months before I finally kicked out her biological father - I got involved with my next husband when she was barely 1 year old, and they considered each other "blood father-daughter".
As for cleaning cat boxes, you can use gloves, and your biggest risk for toxoplasmosis is going to be from eating undercooked beef

Thank You for all your advice. I thought it was funny when Lily pee'd in his guitar until he started flipping out. If she had let him catch her I think he would have really hurt her. I always told him he could say anything to me because I love and I would forgive him but the second he even tried to hurt one of my animals I would be gone. I dont think he believed me. He learned though that I was serious I was gone within an hour of him freaking out.

I told John (BF) last night after I got off the internet. He had been calling all day (he knew I was going to the doctor) but I was to scared to tell him. So I finally told him and I was just soo upset crying and saying how sorry I was. I'm not exactly sure why I was so sorry. Anyways he was really sweet about it and came over and let me cry on his shoulder. He said he's stick around as long as I want him to.

katachtig · Sep 15, 2006

Originally Posted by 4crazycats

I told John (BF) last night after I got off the internet. He had been calling all day (he knew I was going to the doctor) but I was to scared to tell him. So I finally told him and I was just soo upset crying and saying how sorry I was. I'm not exactly sure why I was so sorry. Anyways he was really sweet about it and came over and let me cry on his shoulder. He said he's stick around as long as I want him to.

That is so sweet. Good luck to the two of you.

kluchetta · Sep 15, 2006

Originally Posted by 4crazycats

Wow that's very close together in age. Whew. He was only a week old when you got pregnant. You guys didnt waste any time. I thought you are supposed to wait like 6 weeks after you give birth?

Sorry to be confusing. I got pregnant when he was 12 weeks old, but didn't figure it out for 11 more weeks. So he was like 4-5 months old when I figured it out.

4crazycats · Sep 15, 2006

Originally Posted by LuckyGirl

Congratulations. It may seem so stressful now, and like the end of the world, but know that this too shall pass. What seems like a big catastrophe now will be a beautiful miracle in 9 short months.... While your parents may be disappointed for many reasons now, they will love their grandbaby. Being able to conceive a child is a gift, try to see it as just that, despite all of the complications & headaches you are facing now. Be strong & courageous, you have a tough road ahead of you no matter what you choose to do. Being a parent is never easy, whether you are a single mom or married. But children are a precious gift, try to remember that while you face what seem like your biggest obstacles. I wish you the best of luck with everything.

I know my mom will be ok. She wont be really happy with me. But she will probably say something like another chance at a grandson. She was 8 granddaughters.

My dad is who I am scared to tell. He wont take it well at all. He didnt like Stan.

miagi's_mommy · Sep 15, 2006

I am so sorry, honey.

you'll be in my thoughts. please remember we're here for you and I hope everything works out for the best.

fwan · Sep 15, 2006

I am so glad your BF is being supportive!!

Dont worry, your dad will be angry, but what is the worst thing he could do??
apart from being bitter and not talking to you for a few weeks?

4crazycats · Sep 15, 2006

Originally Posted by angelkitty

Wow.. Pregnancy is not easy , and unexpected makes it harder.. BUT,, a baby really is a wonderful thing! You'd be soo suprised how much your life will change for the better.. Just becareful around the litter.. Don't get rid of your cats because your pregnant,, just have someone help you.

As for telling the ex,, I'm gonna get heat on this one,, but I wouldn't tell him. If he really was mentally abusive and stuff, he may try everything he can to use this as his crutch,, my sister went down this same road. It's just me,, i wouldn't tell him.. But if you feel you should then go ahead,, he really should be held accountable, and pay child support and help you out with the child.

As for the boyfriend,, he needs to know right away.. Just explain it to him, and hopefully he'll be there for you during it. Men are suprise me sometimes.. So he might be very happy for you.. Ar'e you 100% sure it's not his? Sometimes doctors aren't exact on this stuff,, so maybe the ultrasound can help you out. Trust me,, my doctor was off by over a month, until I did the ultrasound,, becuase I spotted, and then stopped when I had Bella...

If you need anythign at all.. Just pm me.. I know having someone to talk too, and being a new mother,, are always a good fit... Plus you always have your furbabies to talk too and they listen well....

Heather

Oh I'm not getting rid of my babies. They are here to stay till they die of old age hopefully.

I think I'm gonna wait a while to tell Stan. I dont want to deal with him. Maybe get used to the idea myself first. He probably will try and get me back. He's tried I just refuse to talk to him still. I havnt said anything to him except for I hate you since I left his house.

I am positive the baby isnt John's. We havnt done anything yet because he doesnt like using condoms. And I wasnt on Birth control any more because I swore off guys after I broke up with Stan. So I was waiting a for a month before doing anything with him. I dont have to worry about that now.

4crazycats · Sep 15, 2006

Originally Posted by fwan

I am so glad your BF is being supportive!!

Dont worry, your dad will be angry, but what is the worst thing he could do??
apart from being bitter and not talking to you for a few weeks?

True I wont do anything to me. But you know the worst thing in the world is knowing you dissapointed your parents.

laureen227 · Sep 15, 2006

Originally Posted by ugaimes

I have absolutely no good advice that hasn't already been offered, but it cannot be said enough that anything happens for a reason and you will definitely make the decisions that are best for you.

just want to add my vote of support. & yes - it's hard knowing you've disappointed your parents, especially when you value their opinion. but they're your parents, & if they love you [& it sounds like they do] they'll eventually get over it, even if it takes a while. you might consider just telling your mom & seeing whether she thinks you should tell you dad or maybe she could tell him for you? i know - the coward's way out, but probably the one i would want to take! i also agree with possibly seeing counsel before dealing with your ex, just so you know exactly where you stand, right-wise.
great news about how your current man took the news!

for him!

katachtig · Sep 15, 2006

Originally Posted by 4crazycats

True I wont do anything to me. But you know the worst thing in the world is knowing you disappointed your parents.

But how you proceed to address this challenge can make them proud again.

ashleigh · Sep 15, 2006

I'm so happy your boyfriend is being supportive and sticking by you.

As for your parents, if they are upset it'll only be because they think you should of led a bit more of life first before taking on a huge responsibility.
I was 17 when I fell pregnant, I told my mum and she was very calm about it all, she told my dad as he was quite strict and I was very scared, he went nuts...he didn't actually speak to me for 5 years, in the end he finally accepted it and my daughter used to go to their house, but we were estranged before my pregnancy, that was just the final straw..and to be honest we really don't have much to do with one another now...not all baby related.

I'm sure though if your parents are upset, it won't be anything like me and my dad, I had alot of upset from him previously, but i'm sure yours is very loving, if the worse case scenario occurs give him/them some space and then write them a letter explaining that you had no intention of becoming pregnant so young, and you know they wanted you to live a little first and are feeling disappointed, but you are an adult and the baby will be coming into all of your lives and you would dearly love their help and support and to share this wonderful gift of life with them, and they will be proud of you again when they see what a wonderful mother you will be to their grandchild.

As for the ex, yes tell him when you are ready..maybe a phonecall to be safe, make it clear your relationship is over for good, and your baby will not change that, but by all means he may have a relationship with the child (maybe set conditions here, like he doesn't come to your home for visitation, and child support matters) if he tries to mentally drain you, just tell him you have no time for this nonsense and you'll speak to him again when he can talk sensibly and adult like, then put the phone down. If he argues the baby isn't his, tell him he can pay for the test later on, and if he doesn't want anything to do with the baby then hunny you and the baby just make a life for yourselves...he/she will be well loved and raised with or without him i'm sure.

It's going to be hard, being a mother at any age is hard work, but it's so rewarding and I'm sure you will have tons of support, good luck.

catsknowme · Sep 15, 2006

Originally Posted by 4crazycats

True I wont do anything to me. But you know the worst thing in the world is knowing you dissapointed your parents.

When my daughter got pg, i was VERY disappointed because her ex was physically abusive (and that aspect of child custody and visitation has been a real thorn for 10 years now), BUT I am so close to my grandson

What an awesome kid - and he wants to have a job that helps animals

I just know that your baby is also going to be very, very special and your dad will be soooo happy in the end

ilovesiamese · Sep 15, 2006

Yea, even if your parents are upset to begin with or whatever, they'll forget it when they get their grandbaby.

I was 15 when I got pregnant and 16 when I had my son and my mom was super supportive and I was really surprised because she's so old fashioned and strict but my parents where there for me when I needed them and I'm sure yours will be too.

laureen227 · Sep 19, 2006

Originally Posted by 4crazycats

I do have a couple of questions though for those who have kids. Should I worry about changing the cat litter? I know I can get someone to do it for me if I really have to. Also what responses did you give people who said that you had to give up your cats because of toxoplasmosis? Or whatever it's called.

hey, i got an email today about this, & this is what it said: That means if you're pregnant, you should ask someone else to clean the litter box. When that's not possible, wear gloves, and give your hands a good scrubbing with soap and water afterward. Changing the litter daily may help reduce the likelihood of infection, too; the parasite isn't infectious until 1 to 5 days after being excreted in the cat's waste.
so if you scoop every day, it shouldn't be a problem!

coolcat · Sep 19, 2006

Congratulations to you at Heart!

take care my friend!

fwan · Sep 19, 2006

SInce we are on the topic, my bf told me that i am putting on too much weight in such a short time, he thinks i am preggers.
Well he just told me that if i am pregnant and if i dont abort he will leave me.
he doesnt mind having a kid in 3 or 4 years time but not now.
So i really envy you with this decision and i am so glad youre keeping it!

4crazycats · Sep 19, 2006

Originally Posted by fwan

SInce we are on the topic, my bf told me that i am putting on too much weight in such a short time, he thinks i am preggers.
Well he just told me that if i am pregnant and if i dont abort he will leave me.
he doesnt mind having a kid in 3 or 4 years time but not now.
So i really envy you with this decision and i am so glad youre keeping it!

I'm sure Stan would have said the samething to me if we were still together. I'm in the process of writing him a letter. We shall see how that goes.

katl8e · Sep 20, 2006

Originally Posted by fwan

SInce we are on the topic, my bf told me that i am putting on too much weight in such a short time, he thinks i am preggers.
Well he just told me that if i am pregnant and if i dont abort he will leave me.
he doesnt mind having a kid in 3 or 4 years time but not now.
So i really envy you with this decision and i am so glad youre keeping it!

Dump HIM! A guy like that isn't worth your time.

tavia'smom · Sep 20, 2006

Originally Posted by katl8e

Dump HIM! A guy like that isn't worth your time.

I agree I was about to say the same thing only difference is I would punch him in the nose first. He sounds like a man I dated, very bad man, and it ended very badly.

ollyextra05 · Sep 20, 2006

Originally Posted by Tavia'smom

I agree I was about to say the same thing only difference is I would punch him in the nose first. He sounds like a man I dated, very bad man, and it ended very badly.

Seriously: cut this loser loose, and soon!!! No one should be treated the way he's treating you, even if you have gained a little weight, that's no excuse!!!

He sounds like he has the potential to be violent, honestly, and thats scary.

Break up with him in a public place like a coffee shop or something and have a friend waiting for you in case he tries to follow you home-- I say this, sadly, from experience-- I had a guy stalk me in high school and I had to have a restraining order taken out against him. I had to change my phone #, and even contemplated trading in my car because he used to drive around looking for my car. One day he saw a girl who he thought was me (we had the same car and same hair color, I actually knew her--small town) and rushed at her in a parking lot and tried to grab her. She beat the snot out of him, and he went to jail for a whopping 12 hours.

Change your locks, change your phone # and don't go anywhere alone if this guy so much as intimates he would hurt you!!!

Great! I'm Pregnant

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