Would you be annoyed?

I want your opinion on something because it's bothered me all night and I want to know if it's just me...
Last night OH's brother and his girlfriend were at our house. His girlfriend was fussing Nismo who was very politely rubbing on her hand, when all of a sudden she says 'I like Sleeves better than Nismo'. I told her it was a horrible thing to say. She apologised, I think realised that it had hurt me as my babies are very important to me and equally beautiful. She went onto say she just had a soft spot for ginger cats but I was really annoyed!
Would you ever say something like that to somebody? Or would you be annoyed if somebody said it about your cats? I know people may have those kinds of thoughts but I think its wrong to voice them.
I had to take Nismo away and tell her how beautiful she is and how much Daddy and I love her.

That's a bit insensitive of her! Would she have said the same if they were children!.

Hell yes i'd be annoyed and i would have done the same with you and took one of the girls out to give them a secret cuddle

Originally Posted by Pombina

I want your opinion on something because it's bothered me all night and I want to know if it's just me...
Last night OH's brother and his girlfriend were at our house. His girlfriend was fussing Nismo who was very politely rubbing on her hand, when all of a sudden she says 'I like Sleeves better than Nismo'. I told her it was a horrible thing to say. She apologised, I think realised that it had hurt me as my babies are very important to me and equally beautiful. She went onto say she just had a soft spot for ginger cats but I was really annoyed!
Would you ever say something like that to somebody? Or would you be annoyed if somebody said it about your cats? I know people may have those kinds of thoughts but I think its wrong to voice them.
I had to take Nismo away and tell her how beautiful she is and how much Daddy and I love her.

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to be honest, it's not something I"d say - but I"m a cat lover. It's also not something I"d get worked up about if someone else said it. I only have one cat, but if someone said they like Wonton better than some hypothetical second cat I have, I'd just say "really? why?" and ask them about it, out of curiosity. To me it wouldn't be a big deal. Also, the cat doesnt know what theyve just said, so it's feelings aren't hurt. We as cat lovers have to accept that not everyone feels the way we do about our animals. Sure, you'd never be visiting someones kids and say "You know what? I like Johnny best". To you, thats what happened. To non-cat people, it's ludicrous to put cats and people on the same level like that.

I just accept non-cat people for who they are. The girlfriend didn't think she was saying anything wrong - to her mind, the cats don't know what she's saying, and you and anyone else know that it's simply a preference.. so she's got no reason to censor herself.

She's got cats herself thats the thing I don't understand. Shes only met mine a couple of times. Oh well I suppose everybody is different.

It's a little out of line!

I know for a fact that my parents prefer Tibby - and always have done! They spoil him rotten and I end up with one conceited kitty after our visits!

I think the reason is because he's so outgoing with them and will literally fight for what he wants!

I love all my kitties equally and they are mine after all, so I just put my parents in their place - where Tibs' behaviour is concerned - and let them do their own thing!

I suppose Grandparents probably have a favourite grandchild aswell so same thing kind of applies to the Tibster.
The thing is when anybody comes round, Sleeves will hide under the bed whereas Nismo is out jumping on their laps and investigating them.

Yeah, that's pretty much the issue with us! Molly being skittish as she is (and reluctant to run for treats!) will often get sidelined! But, having said that, my Mum actually lay on the floor feeding Will whe he was hiding under my bed at Christmas!

I wouldn't have said anything like that either!!
But, I would have done as was previously posted and politley asked why.

Originally Posted by Pombina

I want your opinion on something because it's bothered me all night and I want to know if it's just me...
Last night OH's brother and his girlfriend were at our house. His girlfriend was fussing Nismo who was very politely rubbing on her hand, when all of a sudden she says 'I like Sleeves better than Nismo'. I told her it was a horrible thing to say. She apologised, I think realised that it had hurt me as my babies are very important to me and equally beautiful. She went onto say she just had a soft spot for ginger cats but I was really annoyed!
Would you ever say something like that to somebody? Or would you be annoyed if somebody said it about your cats? I know people may have those kinds of thoughts but I think its wrong to voice them.
I had to take Nismo away and tell her how beautiful she is and how much Daddy and I love her.

Click to expand...

Lauren I agree with you that is totally out of line...think what you want but you don't say it out loud like that! I know most people prefer Bella over my other cats I do too but I NEVER told my cats that. People are crazy for Sev too and Sophia is kind of left out, I feel sorry for her sometimes. But shes not that friendly either. You can't help but feel bad when someone is ignorant like that because they are your children and you take it personally and you should!

I have one friend in particular that immediately voiced that she likes Milo better when she met him. And I think its simply because he is much more outgoing, and will run up to people in the house. Marlee doesn't necessarily hide, but you need to wait for her to come to you rather than going over and petting her because she gets nervous. I just told her that Marlee is just as friendly and loving as Milo, she just takes a bit longer to warm up to you.

A lot of people tell me they like Phantom better. I don't get offended because I know they like Phenom too but Phantom is more outgoing and playful. They don't have to like them both the same. I love them the same and so does their Purrpaw, thats all that matters!!

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. I don't think she meant any harm by it!

She probably didn't mean to hurt your feelings but i think i would feel as hurt as you did because my boys are preciouis to me and i haven't got a favourite as they are both special in their own ways. Nismo and Sleeves are both beautiful.

Most of our friends have their favourites, and if I am honest - so do I so while a outward statement like that is a bit rude, it wouldn't really upset me.

Most people love Magnum because of his looks, or Scully because they have known him since we got him and seen him get helthier and playful etc. Bumps loves to cuddle with people so the girls like him because he can be such a temperate lapcat and then Boomer just hides from people and so they tend to like the others more.

As a couple others have said, I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think she meant to offend you (or the cats) at all.

I agree I don't think she mean't to hurt you. My SIL who we got Bobber from likes her above the others-Bakker is annoying to her because of his licking and to be honest most people don't even know about OX as he isn't a social cat.
Everyone likes Grizzly cause she is so furry and chubby and friendly.

I know she didn't mean to offend me. I was just asking if anybody else would feel the same. Had anybody asked me the same question beforehand I would have said it wouldn't bother me but I was quite surprised at how much it did.
I think it also has a lot to do with who says it. I dont know her well and she doesn't know my cats so I suppose I just felt it was a little unfair.

Maybe she has the insert foot syndrome. Some people say stuff before they stop to think about how it sounds and they don't really mean to. I think all of us has done that at one time or another. And she did say she had a soft spot for ginger cats so maybe she had one that was special to her at one time and maybe he passed away and your Sleeves reminds her of him. But I understand why you are upset. Most people don't realize I even have a cat unless they see the pictures on the wall of her. Because she is shy at first she takes a long time to warm upto someone. My dog on the other hand gets on peoples nerves because she demands attention and she is a bit destructive with trash and anything that has food near it. But once they meet my cat they tend to like her better than my dog. I don't hold it against them I just know different people like different animals. Where as I love both of my girls although admittedly I think I put my cat on a pedistal.

I agree that it was completely rude, and she definately has no manners or couth. Even if we were talking about someones shoes, I wouldn't say "oh, I like Lauren's shoes better" it's simply inappropriate, and not a nice thing to say.

Maybe had she just said what she was thinking behind it: "oh, I have such a thing for ginger kitties, Sleeves is just gorgeous!" and left it at that, it wouldn't be so offensive. She must need finishing school.

I would've been hurt too. I even feel bad myself cause Louie gets alot of extra cuddling. But LuckyGirl doesn't really like to cuddle much anymore, so we make sure we always love her up 1st as much as she wants, then the rest of the time Louie gets. But I do feel bad, still....sometimes she looks at us with a twinge of disgust.

I wouldnt think it was that big of a deal. Sure I would feel bad some one liked one of my animals over the other but hey at least they like them some people don't like animals at all. We might bond well with animals but some people don't. Some people don't understand that bond either and I don't really hold that agains them.

But thats just me.

I understand where you're coming from. My mother loves Rocket and sends him stuff and will not really acknowledge the other three cats and that bothers me.
I know that the cats don't care or understand but it just hits me wrong when she says " I love Rocket" and when I ask about the other three, she says "well I like them but I LOVE Rocket, he's my favorite".
Now in your case, she was probably just trying to make conversation seeing as she doesn't know you very well. Maybe she just thought it was a conversation starter or something? Or maybe she was nervous and wanted to make you like her?
Just running things off the top of my head. But yes I agree it grates on my nerves when my mother or another family member voices their opinions about my cats. Strangers, no. They don't know me well enough yet to understand that I have equal love for all my cats(and how crazy fanatical I am about them!) But they soon learn if they hang around long enough.