How does your spouse (or SO) feel about your cat(s)?

meow meow

TCS Member
Thread starter
Alpha Cat
Joined
Jun 7, 2006
Messages
406
Purraise
1
My DH disappointed me this morning by saying our kitten (6 mos, owned for 2 mos) was "unloving - just like the last cat we had". He keeps comparing our cat to his brothers and my sister-in-laws (extremely affection seeking). Basically, he said he didn't really care whether we had this cat or not. I am crushed.

I have worked so hard to socialize this cat in our home. I have two active, loud, sometimes crazy children (ages 4 and 6). Our house is big and noisy and I really feel the kitten has settled nicely in here. He is never mean to the children (and sometimes they deserve it!), and he always likes to hang out with us. He is a little skittish around strangers. He doesn't respond much to my DH because, for the most part, he ignores him. He may not be crawling all over me for attention but he does sit on my lap several times a day (for about 1-5 minutes -- that's progress!).

When I was looking for kitten, I asked my DH to come see him. He said "I trust your judgement." And now this is what I get. You think you know someone... I think his expectations are way out of line.
 

goldenkitty45

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 29, 2005
Messages
19,900
Purraise
44
Location
SW Minnesota
Two stories:

1. Ex-husband. He claimed to like cats cause I would not part with the ones I had. But he really only tolerated them. During fights, he'd bring up the fact that I cared more about the cats them him. And he also told me AFTER marriage about his ex-wife's cat - how he didn't like it and one time threw it against the wall! If I had known that BEFORE I married him, I'd never had married him.

While he never hurt any of ours, he was abusive to me and my son.


2. My husband now is a dog and cat lover. Its a world of difference. He loves the 2 cats and the dog. His brother was more of a dog lover, but grew to really like our rex.


IMO be careful in who you hook up with concerning pets! Really get to know them and how they feel and their actions before you pick the wrong one.
 

fats mcgee

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Aug 31, 2006
Messages
305
Purraise
2
My b/f always claims to not like the pets but I always see him doing sweet things for them (giving the rats treats, giving the dogs treats and kisses and being REALLY picky about where we live so the dogs would have a good place to walk)and he was quite upset when one of my rats died recently and I thought he was going to need therapy when out old dog, Yukon passed away. (seriously. he was really bad)

He LOVED the kittens (I fostered a few litters of bottle babies) and loved to play with them and snuggle and all that. I suspected that he may actually want a kitty, so I planted the seed and convinced him to come and check out Harriet at the shelter. He did and wasn't too thrilled (she smelled AWFUL!) but agreed to it anyway. I took her home, bathed her and... well, they're in love. I woke up last night and saw Harriet on his chest sleeping with him petting her.
I knew it was the right thing. He even asked me to show him how to clean her butt and he cleaned the litter box w/o me asking him to.
 

sarahbeez

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jul 24, 2006
Messages
718
Purraise
1
Location
Mitten State
Well Chad & I have been together for 6.5 years and we just bought a house 2 months ago, our first time living together 24/7! Right from the beginning it was understood we had to get at least two cats- but we were going to wait until the winter.

Well... yeah right. A month later we found Maui on accident and brought him home & loved him ever since. Then I found two kittens and we *have* to keep them because they will be put to sleep any where I take them, even at our local 'no kill shelter' because they are FIV+. I love them already- they're so tiny and cute!!! Chad isn't crazy about them really but I think part of it is because they're living in the bathroom until they are fully flea-free. I know that once they can come out in the house and play with Chad & Maui, he'll fall for them


Now if only he would do *something* to help out with taking care of them! He never feeds them, does the kitty litter, goes to the vet, gives them medicine, or does their nails!
 

pami

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 16, 2006
Messages
17,482
Purraise
17
Location
Birmingham
I wouldnt worry about what your DH said. You still have a kitten, his persoanlity is still developing. Not everyone appreciates cats and their vast personalities and thats ok.
 

andelawhi

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
May 10, 2006
Messages
217
Purraise
3
Location
Missouri
My DH wasn't too thrilled with the idea of having cats vs. dogs at first. Now he loves them. They're his babies and he'll even call them baby. They're not very affectionate towards him like they are to me, but I just think that it's because I'm here all day with them. That did bother him for awhile, but he still loves them.

Sorry your DH is being kind of a poop head about the whole situation.
 

cinder

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jul 24, 2006
Messages
988
Purraise
5
Location
Oregon
DH constantly complains about how they inconvenience him, although three of our fourteen cats are actually his. He doesn't help that much with the day to day chores in caring for them....but I think he would do anything for them if he had to. Or maybe it's me he does it for. I'm not quite sure. He does pull out his checkbook when the situation calls for it, although he leaves the treatment, etc, for me to deal with.

The other night my deaf cat Casper got out. (uhm...his fault I think) It was late at night when we discovered he was missing and we had to spend 2 hours in the woods looking for him. (me on foot, him on the four wheeler) He never said a word. (and ran out of gas up in the woods
) I think he would have looked all night...not because he's that fond of Casper, but because I would never have stopped til I found him.

I don't mind so much that he complains about them, or doesn't help because it's not his passion, it's mine. He's good to them though and would never hurt them, and that's what's important to me.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #8

meow meow

TCS Member
Thread starter
Alpha Cat
Joined
Jun 7, 2006
Messages
406
Purraise
1
Originally Posted by Pami

I wouldnt worry about what your DH said. You still have a kitten, his persoanlity is still developing. Not everyone appreciates cats and their vast personalities and thats ok.
Thank you -- I appreciate that. I kind of wonder if some if it is not jealousy! After my kids go to bed, the kitten gets most of my attention. Since DH watches TV all evening I thought this would be ok.

I think he should just appreciate that this cat puts up with our children and does not claw or bite them or hide all the time. I certainly do not let my kids annoy the cat but I think some of the reason he may be a little skittish is because of them. The yell out, they dart around and jump (just stuff young kids do).

Anyhow, I will have this cat for life (his), and the marriage too!
 

MoochNNoodles

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
36,646
Purraise
23,465
Location
Where my cats are
DH didn't want to get any cats till we have a house because of his allergies. But over time I think he got to seeing how much I missed having kitties around. (Tiger passed 3 weeks after we were married) He was still in the military then and about to deploy. He saw a cat at Petsmart he liked but I was too skeptical. I told him that when we got a cat, there would be no going back, no matter how his allergies were, etc. So we ended up not getting that kitty. A few weeks later we adopted Mooch and Noodles. The deployment he had before that one I was totally alone and newly married. I was deeply depressed. With Mooch and Noodles here, it was so much better!

Basically DH has always liked cats, his mother had one till recently. I just try to keep them combed and clean so his allergies are less likely to bother him. He takes meds and we have air filters. He is always playing with them and spoiling them. I just can't imagine still not having babies to love. It did take him a little bit of time to get used to them and their habits. Some people just realy don't get how to understand animals. It took him a bit longer than me, but he falls for their every mew now!
 

yosemite

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Apr 26, 2001
Messages
23,313
Purraise
81
Location
Ingersoll, ON
My hubby usually liked and tolerated my cats, but with Bijou he is totally besotted. He carries him around, takes him shopping with him, has him hanging out with him while he's working on our cars and just generally loves him to bits. He's always talking to Bijou. Now he's getting almost as bad with Mika
. My daughter and I just look at each other and grin because we've never seen him like this before Bijou and Mika came into our lives.
 

phenomsmom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
10,462
Purraise
11
Location
In training
Lee is NOT a cat person. It took months of begging before he gave in and let me adopt Phenom. Then Phantom showed up in our lives. They girls still get on his nerves but he loves them. He won't admit that to anyone but I know by the way he acts with them. He plays with them and tells me they love him more and what not. So, he says he doesn't like them but he does!!
 

jenny82

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 19, 2006
Messages
5,773
Purraise
114
Location
Maryland
My husband loves our cats too. He is always saying how cute they are and laughing when they are silly. He enjoys when one of them is laying on him or even just in the same room. I am the one who takes care of feedings, litter cleanings, and vet visits, but if I ask him to he will do those things.
 

neetanddave

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 6, 2006
Messages
8,707
Purraise
1
Location
Tarheel State
My husband professes that he hates cats, just hours before 4 or 5 of ours sleeping on him as he naps on the couch.
 

gemlady

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
18,820
Purraise
31
Location
SW Indiana
After the parents married, Mom's cat became Dad's cat. It would follow him everywhere when he worked in the yard or in the garage.
 

reddicequeen

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Nov 16, 2005
Messages
365
Purraise
10
Location
SE Michigan
My husband was crushed when our dog of 14 1/2 years passed away. He had never owned a dog (was an anniversary gift one year) and I have never owned a cat. I thought since I knew he loved cats it was time to get one. Now I feel bad we didnt introduce a cat to the family while our dog Kacee was alive.
My husband clearly loves his pets. The cat runs to the door at night when he comes home and he plays with him for at least 20 minutes as soon as he comes home. Every time he comes indoors from doing yard work etc he finds the cat and cuddles and talks to him.
Something about a man who loves his pets....what a gentle man...
 

jean-ji

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Nov 23, 2005
Messages
1,040
Purraise
35
Location
Hudson Valley and SW Florida
My DH was watching Pru in our yard all last summer. In the fall he started feeding her, do I need to say more? He's a softy at heart.
When he was a kid, their cat would scratch on his window at night to be let in. He would open his window, the cat came in, jumped on his bed and scratched at his door to get out. The cat wanted out so she could go to his sister's room, who would never wake up to let her in. He loved that cat and just accepts cats for who they are.
 

annasmom

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
May 31, 2006
Messages
878
Purraise
1
Location
Arkansas
My DH really didn't want to take in Ruby when we found her pregnant in the woods. The first two nights I brought her in, he actually woke up in the middle of the night to let her out because she was meowing so loudly. I told him if she had those babies outside, I would divroce him, so he let her stay inside!

At first, I did everything--litterboxes, food, water, cleaning the kitten room. Now that the kittens are gone and we only have Ruby and Shannon, he makes sure they have food and water and (OMG!) the other night was scooping the box.
He still says he doesn't like them, their destroying our house, etc, but at least once a day he picks up Ruby and loves on her and gives Shannon kisses.
 

mirinae

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 13, 2005
Messages
1,292
Purraise
1
Location
Ontario
My bf and I decided when we started living together that we wanted to be cat people. We knew we both wanted to have pets (especially because neither of us had had pets as children; it wasn't until we were both almost teenagers that our families adopted cats), but we knew dogs wouldn't really fit in our lives: we work all day, we go out most evenings and weekends, and we're apartment dwellers so it'd be unfair to have any kind of energetic dog. Anyway, it was a mutual decision, so I don't think either one of us is more affectionate or obsessed with our cats.

Now, we're fortunate in that we have two extremely affectionate cats (Spike maybe a little too affectionate and needy at times ...
), but sometimes it seems like the boys love my bf more than they love me. In all fairness, though, he feeds them more often than I do, and he's usually the one who cleans their litterboxes, too. I'm the one who trims their claws and brushes their teeth -- no wonder they prefer him over me!
When it comes to paying the vet bills and for food and litter and such, we split those evenly (we still keep our finances separate). I tend to splurge more often on cat treats and toys, but I'm really more of a sucker for those things than he is.

Oh, and speaking of suckers? He's the one who's feeding the feral cats that live behind the factory where he works, and he's the one who suggested we start fostering bottle babies for the local Humane Society. But he'll tell anyone who asks that it was all my idea.
 

asecretk

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Mar 16, 2006
Messages
639
Purraise
1
Location
Ohio
My BF pretty much likes all the cats but he does have his favorite. He even gets mad at the other cats if they get into a tiff with her. I usually ignore the cats if they get into it because I feel they have to work it out for themselves and he agrees except if it happens with "his" cat.

I also had two dogs when we met and he really is not a dog person. He does not dislike them but I don't think it would bother him if they were gone tomorrow. I love both my dogs and love to snuggle on the bed with them but I can't because he does not like them on the bed. But ya know I do it anyway now and then cause it is my bed too and they keep me warm


I don't feel there is much difference between 6 cats on the bed or two dogs. The cats will even come on the bed and snuggle with the dogs so I say fair is fair
 

crittergirl

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Dec 17, 2004
Messages
765
Purraise
1
Location
Michigan
My bf is not a "cat person" per say, but he is a great animal lover. My original 2 both found his soft spot quickly. His kind gentle heart is now opened up to all of my babies, even though they have played havoc on our furniture at times. He cares for them when I am not home and does not even hesitate to clean a litterbox. Being that his girls are grown and out of state, and I have no kids, we think of us and our crew as a family. His compassion for animals is one of the many things that made me so attracted to him, and continue to be! I would never be with anyone who did not like my cats!
 
Top