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Cats in Bedroom

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
Recently my boyfriend decided he doesn't want Zebra in the bedroom at night anymore. We have been letting her in for a long time now, so now shes used to it and just sits outside the room meowing to get in. I love having her sleep beside me because she cuddles right up to me. My boyfriend cant stand it because she purrs really loud and it keeps him awake, but if we keep her outside the room she meows and keeps me awake.

I don't know what to do. Shes been outside the room meowing for the last 2 nights and it keeps me awake, but I don't want to let her in and have him not be able to sleep. Any suggestions on how to keep her outside the room without having her just sit there and meow?
post #2 of 17
Has your boyfriend ever heard the expression "Love Me, Love My Cat"? Who did you have first? Personally, I think he sounds inconsiderate! The purring would only go on until the cat fell asleep! And I would think the crying would keep him awake too! She's probably not going to stop meowing outside your door for a while, unless you get her a companion. Personally, I'd let her in!
post #3 of 17
My advice is to let the cat in at night and put your boyfriend outside the bedroom .... seriously what LokisMum said, can he just not wait for her to stop purring, then go to sleep. If she is so used to being in there at night, Im sure its stressing her to all of the sudden be completely shut out now.... and the meowing has got to be louder than a purr ...... See if he will work with you a bit and go to bed earlier so she can purr out .....
post #4 of 17
Your boyfriend is jealous of the cat. Show him the door, or get another cat for your cat to cuddle with at night. I would opt for another cat and another boyfriend.
post #5 of 17
I'm opted to agree with everyone else.

I mean like Loki said, the purring only lasts until the cat falls asleep and then its silent so it can be keeping him up all night...

Now if she's used to sleeping with you and you now have to keep the door shut...then she's prolly crying at the door nearly all night long.

Poor dear prolly feels put out like she did something wrong.

I have always found this amusing but perhaps it applies for you???

I think that has been floating around the internet for ages....but seriously..

Who was there first??? Ya know?
post #6 of 17
In a house with 6 cats we ALWAYS have at least one and usually no less than two sleeping on the bed with us. When we first go to bed we get a visit by each and every one for nothing more than a little luvin' before bed. Amaudeus likes to sleep under the covers up against my wife and Thor sleeps on top of the covers right up against her also......Thor is a purring machine and as long as you are petting him he turns the volume up as high as it can go. Kiyoshi is always sleeping between my feet when I get up each morning. My wife and I wouldn't have it any other way, this is just one of the ways that our cats show their love for us. I am a very light sleeper also and the purring or the cats relocating their positions on the bed is something that you just get accustomed to. Sometimes I think that the cats have more of the bed than my wife and I have to sleep on. Someone else said that if the purring from your kitten keeps him awake....then the *meowing at the bedroom door* should keep him awake even more so...I agree. I know that a good nights sleep is important and should not be denied...but I also feel that our pets shouldn't be denied the opportunity to show us that they want to be with us also. I don't know if *jealousy* is the real issue or not because if that were the case it would surface at other times also. Heck....if it bothers him that bad then get some disposable ear-plugs and wear them to bed. As I said earlier.....it wouldn't feel llike home without at least two cats sleeping with us.

Winter Hawk
post #7 of 17
It sounds fishy to me too. The cat would only purr for a short while until it fell asleep and shutting it out of the bedroom and letting it meow would be far worse. Sounds like he's trying to do a "control" thing with you.

I would suggest that if he can't sleep in the bedroom with the short time of purring then perhaps he would be more comfortable on the couch.
post #8 of 17
What's up with that!? My husband knows better then to ask me to put out our kitties. He'd never hear the end of that let me tell you!
I would explain how you're bothered by the fact that your kitty is meowing outside the door at night and you want her back in the bedroom with you. If he doesn't agree, then I say give him a pillow and a blanket, show him the couch, then let your precious baby back in the room where she and you are comfortable. That's insensitive IMO. OR you could be sleeping with the kitties outside the bedroom if he doesn't give in then he'd realize when the lovin is gone that maybe he made a mistake. My cats are first, and DH knows it. I love him with every fiber of my being, but I also love the cats that much too, and he knows if it ever came down to him or the cats, he'd loose.
post #9 of 17
Thread Starter 
These answers are totally not what I was asking for. I wanted to know how to stop her from meowing. I don't want to kick my boyfriend out of the room. And she doesn't just purr for a few minutes, it can go on for hours and is very loud. As for the who was there first...my boyfriend was. We have been together for over 4 years and Zebra has only been with us for a year. We have another cat for her to play with, he just sleeps in a different spot at night.
post #10 of 17
Well, when a cat loves you she will love you all the time. She can not learn that there is an appropriate time and not apropriate time. It will be really difficult and hartbreaking to stop the meowing. She is crying for her mama - you. She is used to bee with you now and that is precious time for her. I would still go for ear plugs for your boyfriend.
post #11 of 17
cats meow, it's what they do. seriously..you can't stop a cat from meowing. if a cat wants to meow, they will meow..same for purring.

in all honesty, if your boyfriend doesn't like it then have him sleep somewhere else or tune the cat out... when we first got Miagi he slept with me and he purred in my ear and I fell asleep. I'd rather have him, Tiger, and my dogs snoring in my ear rather than a human being. that's just me, though.
post #12 of 17
I'm sorry you're caught in the middle of this. I wonder if there's a middle ground. What if you had a fan or other white noise so he didn't hear the kitty purring? Or play some music or leave the TV on? Also, I sleep with a pillow over my head - because it was something I had to learn a long time ago during a summer job to get any sleep. Maybe there is a way to have the kitty in the room, but figure a way so she doesn't bother him so much.
post #13 of 17
Have you tried a box fan outside of your bedroom door?Put it on med. and that should deture your cat from the door as they HATE the sound.
Try and tire her out before bed by playing for about a half an hour.
Good luck!!!
post #14 of 17
Its very hard to stop mewing. In a house of 14 plus the babies here, Steve gave up the idea of having the bedroom off limits a long time ago. we usually have at least 3 cats on the bed with us, one betwene his legs and two on me, Jade with him and Bellie and Jellie sometimes Little A with me. and frankly he now gets worried if Jade isnt sleeping with him

The meowing is not going to be easy to stop at all and i really have no advice. I would suggest ear plugs.
post #15 of 17
Originally Posted by crittermom View Post
Have you tried a box fan outside of your bedroom door?Put it on med. and that should deture your cat from the door as they HATE the sound.
Try and tire her out before bed by playing for about a half an hour.
Good luck!!!
That is probably the best advice so far. Be sure to give Zebra enough attention prior to bed, and be sure to tell her that it's time for "nite-nite" (or whatever word you feel comfortable using) so that she begins to understand that it's nighttime and time for you to have privacy.
It would be a endearing gesture if your boyfriend would opt for the earplugs, just to avoid having you in the middle. I'm sure that you would make it up to him in ever so many ways. Good luck!
post #16 of 17
Since you cannot stop your broken hearted cat from meowing, I think the earplugs are a great idea. I used them when I had loud at night neighbors. They were great. There are foam earplugs you can get at the drugstore. you roll them tight and then put them in your ears, where they expand. They muffle the sounds and you can't feel them because they are so soft. Do you think the boyfriend would try? The reason none of the answers are not how to stop the cat from meowing is because you can't. Everyone here was addressing the problem, which in our eyes, is how to make peace between your cat and your boyfriend so that you can have a happy home. That is what we percieve your problem as being. The best solution is to allow the cat in bed and have it not bother the boyfriend. so earplugs.
post #17 of 17
Thread Starter 
Maybe I will try the fan outside the door. I'm not sure if that would work though because my cats seem to like fans. I've never had a box fan but I know a regular fan and the fan on the air conditioner dont bother them.

As for giving Zebra attention, from the minute I wake up to the time I leave for work, and from when I get home from work until I go to bed, shes always near me.

It's been 3 nights now and I think she is starting to understand. She just meows for a few minutes and then leaves.
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