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gaining his confidence....again

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
Ok, I made a mistake I hugely regret. I was being very irratable yesterday. anything was making me go off because of some misfortunate events. Ok, well I see that my 9 month old kitten messed up my adornments I had made for a customer and I spanked him about 3 times. Not too hard and not too light. Now he's terrified and I'm saddened because this animal used to follow me, comfort me and all sorts of things. Now when I get near him he shields himself like someone is gonna hit him and when I hold him he curls his tail in-between his legs. I dont hit animals at all but I guess I forgot how sensitive kittens can be. This is my first after all. I felt real bad afterwards because I dont hit animals...its cruelty. The spanks were on his sides and I know it wasnt anything brutal....physically he's very fine. He's still hoppin around and running and playing but emotionally I've hurt my friend.
post #2 of 7
Oh dear! I know you're terribly upset over this and I think you've learned a valuable lesson. Kitties have such a tender spirit and it's easy to break it by hitting or spanking them.

I'm not sure what to tell you except that you're going to have to work very hard and very slowly to win back your kitty's trust. It will be a long process, but with lots of love and patience, it can be done. I would start by not picking up your cat, let him come to you. Pet him when he comes near, but don't go after him. Talk to him and continue to reinforce verbally your love for him. If possible, I would also recommend moving your workspace to an area that can be blocked off from his access or into a room where you can close the door so he can't get into your stuff.

Let us know how it goes!

post #3 of 7
Thread Starter 
thanks for the support steph. I've been picking him up because I wanna bond with him but I'll do my best not to do so much of it. I mean im willing to be patient for him. I just wanna find clever ways of bonding. Right now there's this frilly ball that I play with him with. Is that recommendable? What I do is I push it back and forth and he gets in pounce mode and I leave him alone from there and let him pounce it. Or sometimes I roll it with my hand into this toy igloo and let him get it and then pet him afterwards...like rewarding him. SHould I keep doing that? thats the fun game me and him have right now.
post #4 of 7
Playing with him is good! That's an excellent way to bond with your kitty. You might look into a toy that's on a wand like a boa or Da Bird. That way you can let it fly, he can stalk it and pounce on it, or chase it. Just remember to let him come to you for lovings and approach him slowly when petting him. Don't force anything on him.

post #5 of 7
I would recommend laying on the floor so you are on his level and talking to him gently.
post #6 of 7
(not well!) but I've made up songs ("I wish a were a timber Timber kitty - ala Oscar Mayer, "You are my sunshine", etc.) and our cat seems to be calm and wags her tail during our songfest.

My kids shake their head when I'm away from home and sing to Timber in front of their friends. But it's my way of saying "I love you".
post #7 of 7
Back off from him now. Don't push contact. He was spanked for no reason (in his head) he was doing what kitties do, they play. Now, he does not trust you and he won't for a long time. They do not remember the good things we do for them, but they never forget the bad. next time, walk away and go throw a pillow at a wall instead. He fears you now and he will work it out in time as long as you don't scare him again. You are a predator to him because you brought him pain and scared him. It doesn't matter how "light" we think those spanks are, they are always heavier for a fragile kitten and hard for them to process.
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