Its my christmas list from last year that I actually printed out and gave to my fiance..now hubby Lmao
Dear Santa,
I've been a good Mommy and Fiance all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my
munchkin on demand, visited her doctor's office more than my doctor, Played so many games of chase the baby and PheeYew stinky feet then there are numbers high enough to count. I have gotten up from my recliner to retrieve numerous items for my fiance such as soda, pop pop,(you pop, ill mix babe) water, more water and "just one more oreo PLEEEEASE babe" I have cooked to the best of my ability...tried to clean as much as i could even though it is impossible to stay on top of the mess we created and have done more laundry than you could dream of and its still pilled high to the ceiling, I have also endured quite a few football and basketball games with out much fuss. So....
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of cellulite free thighs and legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple,
which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze;
but
are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of bathroom cabinet where she loves to play with items such as clorox toilet bowl cleaner and shampoo bottles.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh
month of my pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint
resistant surfaces on my stove and microwave a refrigerator
with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk
on
the phone uninterrupted... that would be spectacular.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes
Mommy" and "Sure babe"
to boost my parental and self confidence, along with a baby who doesnt eat her daddys dirty socks
and three pairs of jeans with butt lifting pockets that will zip all the way up without the use
of
power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Put your clothes in the hamper" . "Put your dishes away" And "Ella get away from the window it has lead paint chips!" because my voice seems to be just out of my daughter and fiance's hearing range and can only be
heard by Me.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough
time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the
luxury of Taking a complete shower with warm water and with out the constant banging on the door by a bobble head elmo doll or My fiance yelling "what the hell are you doing in there"
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to
brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare
ketchup a
vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely and I wouldnt have to hear that i only make half of a meal.
It would be helpful if you could coerce my fiance to help around the
house without demanding an award or some kind of payment as if he were the boss of an organized
crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my daughter sees the charger to the computer plugged into the wall and is getting the urge to put the cord either around her neck or in her mouth. Have
a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in
and dry off so you don't catch cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave
crumbs on the kitchen table.
Yours Always,
Mommy
P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep
my baby young enough to believe in Santa and still need her mommy, and my Fiance Sane enough to keep on loving me all year through.
Dear Santa,
I've been a good Mommy and Fiance all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my
munchkin on demand, visited her doctor's office more than my doctor, Played so many games of chase the baby and PheeYew stinky feet then there are numbers high enough to count. I have gotten up from my recliner to retrieve numerous items for my fiance such as soda, pop pop,(you pop, ill mix babe) water, more water and "just one more oreo PLEEEEASE babe" I have cooked to the best of my ability...tried to clean as much as i could even though it is impossible to stay on top of the mess we created and have done more laundry than you could dream of and its still pilled high to the ceiling, I have also endured quite a few football and basketball games with out much fuss. So....
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of cellulite free thighs and legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple,
which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze;
but
are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of bathroom cabinet where she loves to play with items such as clorox toilet bowl cleaner and shampoo bottles.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh
month of my pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint
resistant surfaces on my stove and microwave a refrigerator
with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk
on
the phone uninterrupted... that would be spectacular.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes
Mommy" and "Sure babe"
to boost my parental and self confidence, along with a baby who doesnt eat her daddys dirty socks
and three pairs of jeans with butt lifting pockets that will zip all the way up without the use
of
power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Put your clothes in the hamper" . "Put your dishes away" And "Ella get away from the window it has lead paint chips!" because my voice seems to be just out of my daughter and fiance's hearing range and can only be
heard by Me.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough
time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the
luxury of Taking a complete shower with warm water and with out the constant banging on the door by a bobble head elmo doll or My fiance yelling "what the hell are you doing in there"
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to
brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare
ketchup a
vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely and I wouldnt have to hear that i only make half of a meal.
It would be helpful if you could coerce my fiance to help around the
house without demanding an award or some kind of payment as if he were the boss of an organized
crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my daughter sees the charger to the computer plugged into the wall and is getting the urge to put the cord either around her neck or in her mouth. Have
a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in
and dry off so you don't catch cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave
crumbs on the kitchen table.
Yours Always,
Mommy
P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep
my baby young enough to believe in Santa and still need her mommy, and my Fiance Sane enough to keep on loving me all year through.
