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Top 16 Fatal Things to say to your Pregnant Wife

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
1. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty

2. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee
had a

3. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"

4. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."

5. "Damn if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit
that Richard Simmons fella."

6. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's
gotta hurt!"

7. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard

8. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"

9. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

10. "Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!"

11. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

12. "Got milk?"

13. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary,

14. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of

15. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

16. "You don't have the guts to pull the trigger, Lardass."

post #2 of 5
Its a wonder, that more pregnant women don't kill their mates!
post #3 of 5
You know mt ex-husband?!
post #4 of 5
Maybe, we have the same one. When I was in labor, with Richard (my first), they had me walking the hall, to speed things up. I wanted the ex to walk with me and give me a little support, when a contraction hit. His response: "I don't want to walk, I'm tired."

HE was tired? I had been toting this huge baby (10lb, 1oz) for 9 1/2 months, with the accompanying backaches, swollen feet and constant potty runs and HE had the nerve to complain that he was tired.

Is it any wonder that I refused to have another one, with him? On top of all that, three days after my giving birth, he wanted to resume marital relations. We've been divorced, since Richard was 2.
post #5 of 5
Those are hilarious!!! I would kill hubby if he said any of those...although I did come close the day he wanted me to do something for him, and I said I was tired, and he said he was tired too, and I said, "But at least you aren't 8 1/2 months pregnant", and he said, "That excuse is getting a little old."

Needless to say I was very mad...but he did apologize later. Oh and there was the time I told him not to worry, I was going to lose all the weight I had gained after the baby was born, and he said, "That's what they all say".........he apologized for that one too after I hit the ceiling.
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