How to keep him off my mind...

Ok, I'm not 100% sure why I am writting this. I guess I just need to write it down to try and figure things out. I'm a very rational person and I NEED to make sense of things, even if we all know that love doesn't really make any sense.

For those of you who remember, I was really upset around 4 months ago because there was some guy in my classes that I really liked... but didn't manage to (or have the courage to) give him my phone number or email before the summer hit. Which meant 4 months without seeing him.

Despite this, I have had a good summer... took summer classes, worked, enjoyed the summer. I certainly didn't spend the whole time moping about not seeing him (except maybe for the first week or so). Still, I haven't stopped thinking about him. I always hoped I would run into him, but never did. I really do miss him and I can't shake off the hope that just maybe he might feel the same way about me.

So now, the 4 months is almost over. In just over a week I'll see him again. I really don't know what to expect or how I will handle it. After 4 months of daydreaming, I think he may have become 'unreal' to me. How will I feel when I am faced with the REAL him. Will I be disappointed? Or so nervous that I will make an idiot of myself?
And how will he act towards me... I mean, I'm sure he'll talk to me (we almost always talked before class) but what if it's just not the same? Or what if I saw things that weren't really there?

In the next week or so, I am on vacation. Which means that there's nothing to keep me busy and I have LOTS of time to daydream. I really don't think it's a good idea for me to fantasize like that over something that probably will never happen. It's like I'm just making myself vulnerable to have my heart broken for no reason. I wish I could just stop building up expectations and take things as they happen. That would be the rational thing to do... but I guess I'm just not as rational as I thought.

I think the best I can do is keep reminding myself that my life is great as it is... and no matter what happens with him, I'll be fine.
But then... why do I miss him so much?

you miss him so much partly because he gave you something to look forward and also because you do daydream about him so much you have constructed this perfect person in your mind. you miss him but you also miss who you've made him out to be.

Once school starts and you run into each other ask him out for lunch or maybe out for dinner or coffee.

dont waste anymore time sitting around daydreaming your wasting time. once you put your plan into action the better your mind will feel. Life is to short to wonder "what if" and to not reach for the things you want. remember no one is ever to good or not good enough! you've made communication and your building a friendly relationship/accuatience(sp?) which means your not some scary stanger and your someone he knows well enough to not get freaked out.

I met my boyfriend in a bar, totally blew me off... later that night i walked up to him and wrote my number on his hand, we were heading toward the same bar and i started a fun conversation...he took the bait....and well here we are now. sometimes you just gotta go all out!

GO FOR IT!

Originally Posted by marie-p

How will I feel when I am faced with the REAL him. Will I be disappointed? Or so nervous that I will make an idiot of myself?
And how will he act towards me... I mean, I'm sure he'll talk to me (we almost always talked before class) but what if it's just not the same? Or what if I saw things that weren't really there?

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If you find that's the case, chances are you'll end up feeling more relieved than disappointed. It will make him more "real" to you, and that will make him more of a tangible person you can really get to know rather than a dream guy who is just that - a dream.

Originally Posted by EricaNicole

you miss him so much partly because he gave you something to look forward and also because you do daydream about him so much you have constructed this perfect person in your mind. you miss him but you also miss who you've made him out to be.

Once school starts and you run into each other ask him out for lunch or maybe out for dinner or coffee.

dont waste anymore time sitting around daydreaming your wasting time. once you put your plan into action the better your mind will feel. Life is to short to wonder "what if" and to not reach for the things you want. remember no one is ever to good or not good enough! you've made communication and your building a friendly relationship/accuatience(sp?) which means your not some scary stanger and your someone he knows well enough to not get freaked out.

I met my boyfriend in a bar, totally blew me off... later that night i walked up to him and wrote my number on his hand, we were heading toward the same bar and i started a fun conversation...he took the bait....and well here we are now. sometimes you just gotta go all out!

GO FOR IT!

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I agree! Go for it.....if he doesn't want to date you- his loss, if he does, that's awesome. But you will never know unless you take a small chance. Good luck! I'm rootin for you!

You might just be missing having a special guy in your life, in general. And that happens even to us married folks - when our spouses are the "emotionally unavailable" type. And remind yourself that there is no "one magic person", there are plenty of wonderful,available, worthy guys out there who are longing to find a special lady like you - it can be hard to meet up sometimes. But once the connection is made, the guy will move heaven and earth to hook up with you, as the other posts point out

Oops. Forgot to reply to this (sorry I've been gone yesterday)

I don't know if I can really work up the courage to ask him out. Well, at least not at our first day of school together (on that day, I'll settle for surviving! ).
I am really shy, plus I would be worried about being too forward and ruining chances for a nice friendship.

As far as my attempts to keep him off my mind... it's really not working. I even started dreaming about him almost every night. Last night, I dreamt that I saw him again and realized that he wasn't as good looking as I remembered (he had brown eyes instead of blue, and acne scars on his face) but I actually felt kind of relieved. I was disappointed though when he hinted that he already had a girlfriend, but later he leaned close to me and kissed me on the cheek
Then I woke up


Seriously, I do miss having someone special in my life. I have been single for over 2 years now and I have grown used to it. I'm actually happier than I've ever been before, especially now that I know that I don't need anyone to make me happy. However, I have to admit that I would prefer to have someone in my life. I love to be emotionally and physically close to someone.
I don't know if that guy is the one or not... all I know is that he messes up my brain more than anyone ever has. I'm not sure if that's love or pure insanity (or is there even a difference between the two? )