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Feeling Sad & guilty

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 

I'm a new member. I have been reading the posts the last few days and just felt like I had to share our story. We (my husband & I) lost both our 2 cats within a month of each other. Sam was a brave cat, he had a stroke one day, (the vet thinks) and just slowly lost control of his hind end. But he was brave, he still would want to move around and try to play. We built him a wheelchair, which he tried to use a few times, but he just never gave up! He still would give kisses and hugs, until the very end! We knew it was time, once he couldn't urinate on his own anymore. We loved him so much, that we used baby diapers once he couldn't walk that much anymore. We feel guilty because we wish we could have done more. But like the vet said we gave him more than other people would have. I try to remember that we gave an extra year that some people might not have given to a cat.

Then a month later his brother Patrick passed away. He was fine when we left for work and then we came home and he was throwing up and listless. After many tests, he had diabetes, his liver was very small, and he might have pre-cancer of the pancreas. We wish that our love could have been enough to keep Patrick with us, but I guess he missed his brother so much that he wanted to join him in kitty heaven.

But I also feel guilty because we loved Sam & Patrick so much (for 14 years) and we were so lonely, that after 2 days from Patrick's death, we adopted 2 kittens, Max & Sarah (brother & sister).

Does that make us bad parents? For wanting to share our love to new kittens so soon? Some days it feels like it. But now that we have had Sarah & Max for a month, we can't picture our lives without them.

Thanks for listening...

Cat Mommy
post #2 of 14
I am sorry to hear about the death of Sam & Patrick, you did everything and more for them.

I can fully understand a house without some furry friends in it, does not seem like a home to me. Each person has to deal with getting a new pet in there own way. If your family is ready to bring in new ones then great you have now given 2 little kittens
a place to call home. how could there ever be anything wrong with that.

I would be willing to bet those times you feel like you did something wrong is those times where you miss sam and patrick. Its ok and normal to miss them. But should in no way take way or make you feel guilty over sarah & max.
post #3 of 14
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. You tried so hard to do what you could for Sam, and I think you're probably right about Patrick -- whatever his official health challenges were, I expect they were exacerbated by his loneliness for his brother, and just too much to bear, as a result. You did your best for the boys, and it's clear that you gave them a wonderful love-filled home.

And know what? I'll bet you dollars to donuts that they are pleased beyond measure that you have two new little people in your lives now. See, they'd have been worried about you, because they're no longer able to look after you as only a kitty can. And now there are a couple of kitties there to do the things for you that they can't anymore. They know you love them and always will, and now they don't have to worry about you. But they'll continue to watch over you. Please be gentle with yourselves.

RIP Sweet Sam and Patrick

Oh! And welcome to TCS! When you have a minute, why not drop into New Cats on the Block and introduce yourselves and your new babies.
post #4 of 14
I'm so sorry Bless their little hearts they sound so sweet as well

Rest assured Sam and Patrick know how much they were loved by you, and please don't feel guilty by adopting Sarah and Max, if anything Sam and Patrick sent you to find them to bring them home and help ease the pain

Have fun over the bridge Sam and Patrick, theres lots of new friends waiting for you to play with

post #5 of 14
I am sorry for you loss, and so happy for you - and for Sarah and Max - that you have found each other.

Rest in peace together, Sam and Patrick. Enjoy your time at the bridge.
post #6 of 14
I am so sorry for your loss, it's so hard to lose one let alone two so close together my heart goes out to you. I think it's natural to feel guilty about getting new kitties, but Sam & Patrick are not jealous or mad about this it's just the pressure we as humans put on ourselves. I have spoken to an animal communicator several times in the past few months (because I have a sick cat) and she said that our pets want us to have special relationships with other animals, and that they know it will not be the same you had with them but special in it's own way...I hope that made sense. God Bless
post #7 of 14
Thread Starter 

Thank you all for your kind words. It means a lot to me. It is still hard, but Sarah & Max have already helped with the healing. I'll head over to the lounge to say hi.
post #8 of 14
Don't forget we want to see these new babies of yours in fur pages!
post #9 of 14
Condolences on your loss of Sam and Patrick. How sweet that they sent TWO kittens your way - Sarah and Max really are blessings sent from Heaven above, and you know who picked them out for you Knowing the wonderful care that you gave to Sam and Patrick, these 2 newbies are esp. blessed. And yes, we would love to see pics...I'll go over to the Lounge to see if you've posted any. BTW, here's a virtual hug, for those quiet times when your heart still longs for those special moments being with Sam and Patrick :hug:
post #10 of 14
I am so very sorry for your losses, you truly gave them everythign they could want, and it is a testament to them that you are sharing your love with more needy cats. Please dont feel guilty, your babes wouldn't want you to be, they may even have had a hand in things.
post #11 of 14
When I got a kitten soon after I lost my dear Petunia, I wondered about if I was "replacing" her. But a good friend said that we are full of love and we need to share that love with others. While you will always cherish the memory of Sam and Patrick, you are gathering your two new little ones into the wonderful love in your home.

And there is always more than enough love to go around.
post #12 of 14
Don't feel guilty. Your other cats surely know that they are loved and will always be remembered. Now you have 2 new kittens who need you, who you can share your life and love with.
post #13 of 14
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for your heartfelt words. It means a lot great deal to me. I know that Sarah & Max don't "replace" Sam & Patrick, but are just new additions to our family. I'm saving all your replies. It does help, thank you. I've posted pictures of Sarah & Max in the lounge. I'll post pictures of Sam & Patrick too.
post #14 of 14
I am so sorry for your losses! Rest in peace, sweet kitties.

I would have gotten more kitties, too. I do not like to be without pets. While of course one kitty could never replace another, a new relationship does bring a certain amount of joy and comfort.
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