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How can he do this to his family? balcony jump

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
Dont know if theres been a thread about this, but it really moved me this story moved me to tears....that poor little boy has lost his life due to arguements....It should never have happened in front of the kids...and now the dad has to live with what he has done for the rest of his life, and i read in one paper he couldnt rememebr jumping off as he was so drunk.....it makes me feel sick (see link)

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/19082006/14...er-charge.html
post #2 of 29
Terrible isn't it. Take your own life but don't involve innocent people.
post #3 of 29
How terribly sad
post #4 of 29
Just terrible!! That breaks my heart.
post #5 of 29
thats horrible i couldnt even get through it.
post #6 of 29
Very sad. Who knows what is going through the mind of someone who does something like that. In latest reports over here, his wife is quoted as saying that he was not drunk, and that it was totally out of character.
post #7 of 29
people who take thier own lives are cowards.
post #8 of 29
I wouldn't say they were cowards because taking your own life is something i havent got the guts to do.

To take your own life whatever way it's done you have to be ill, but it's wrong that he took someone else down with him
post #9 of 29
Unfortunately, that's what some men do when they fight with their wives. They know the best way to hurt her is to hurt her children.
A few months ago, a father from a small town south of where I live threw his 2 sons off a balcony & jumped himself. All 3 were killed. The man & his wife had been having problems, but they went on vacation to try to patch things up.
It's in the news all too frequently.
post #10 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by sherral46 View Post
people who take thier own lives are cowards.

I agree completely.
post #11 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckblv View Post
I agree completely.
That's a pretty blank statement.
Is that to say that those with mental illnesses or clinical depression with high rates of suicide among their ranks are simply cowards?
post #12 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveysmummy View Post
That's a pretty blank statement.
Is that to say that those with mental illnesses or clinical depression with high rates of suicide among their ranks are simply cowards?
yes because I was there! I now understand there are ways to get help.death is not the way out,only the cowards way out.
post #13 of 29
You may have had your own individual experience but that doesn't mean you can stand in judgement of others of whose situations you know nothing of.

Try telling a paranoid Schizophrenic (the highest rate of suicide in mental health population) to just "get help"....
post #14 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveysmummy View Post
You may have had your own individual experience but that doesn't mean you can stand in judgement of others of whose situations you know nothing of.

Try telling a paranoid Schizophrenic (the highest rate of suicide in mental health population) to just "get help"....
If they took their med.s they could be helped!
post #15 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveysmummy View Post
You may have had your own individual experience but that doesn't mean you can stand in judgement of others of whose situations you know nothing of.

Try telling a paranoid Schizophrenic (the highest rate of suicide in mental health population) to just "get help"....
I was talking about people with drepesserion(sp) not schizrophrenic's.people who kill themselves because of a fight or something along these lines is a coward!
post #16 of 29
Maybe my view of this topic is a little skewed, but I don't see these men as being suicidal at all. I think these men are so willing to do whatever it takes to make their wives suffer that dying doesn't matter to them. The important thing is that the wife feels guilty & blames herself. I have some experience with this type of situation; a family member threatened to throw himself off the local bridge, and take his young daughter with him, whenever a discussion about his alcoholism arose. The only reason he did this was to get a reaction from his wife; he had no intention of following thru.

I don't believe the situations that have been mentioned included men who were mentally ill or clinically depressed.
post #17 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by sherral46 View Post
If they took their med.s they could be helped!
While true, sadly that is a bit circular. To take their meds, they have to believe, in their paranoid minds, that the meds will help, not hurt them.

As anyone who's forgotten a couple of contraceptive pills in a row can attest, you can sometimes just forget them, no matter how long you've been taking them for. I have an excellent memory and have been taking them for seven years - and occasionally I forget to take them a couple day straight. Sure, usually its in times of stress, but let's not forget that people with paranoid schitzophrenia (sp) have some stuff to be stressed about.
post #18 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveysmummy View Post
You may have had your own individual experience but that doesn't mean you can stand in judgement of others of whose situations you know nothing of.
I agree.

Judging an entire life by the way it ends is uncharitable in the extreme.

Further, for those who believe that a person's life is there own, to do with as they wish, suicide is not an act of cowardice but a basic human right.

And in some cases, where for example a terminal illness has been discovered, a person may choose to end their lifes rather than live through such a debilitating end. That is, in some ways, profoundly life affirming.
post #19 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satai View Post
And in some cases, where for example a terminal illness has been discovered, a person may choose to end their lifes rather than live through such a debilitating end
And that's exactly what a close friend of mine did on the day she found out she had terminal cancer

The minds a funny thing when something inside you can just snap to make you take your own life such as my friend. She was anything but a coward, if anything she's a braver woman than i am to do what she did.
post #20 of 29
I'm sorry for your loss Rosiemac. I didn't know your friend, but I can understand the choice she made. I don't know if it, and it may well have been in her situation, it is really, in general, a case of something inside going 'snap'.

I think, depending on your outlook and philosophy, it's really a natural choice. More and more people are comfortable with the idea of euthanasia - and I would think of your friend's suicide in similar terms - she just decided to do it before things got really ugly.

Of course it's easy to say when you aren't personally hurting from the person's decision, but I would respect her choice, and in the same situation, I might do something similar. There is a courage in the saying 'this is my life, and I chose to end it on my terms'; we all lose the final battle.

In situations like that of your friend I am reminded of the line in The Lion in Winter: 'When the fall is all that's left, it matters a great deal'.
post #21 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satai View Post
While true, sadly that is a bit circular. To take their meds, they have to believe, in their paranoid minds, that the meds will help, not hurt them.

As anyone who's forgotten a couple of contraceptive pills in a row can attest, you can sometimes just forget them, no matter how long you've been taking them for. I have an excellent memory and have been taking them for seven years - and occasionally I forget to take them a couple day straight. Sure, usually its in times of stress, but let's not forget that people with paranoid schitzophrenia (sp) have some stuff to be stressed about.
X 3.

There are as many unique situations as there are individuals in this world.
To stand in judgement of all due to one personal narrow vision is really absurd to me.
post #22 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosiemac View Post
And that's exactly what a close friend of mine did on the day she found out she had terminal cancer

The minds a funny thing when something inside you can just snap to make you take your own life such as my friend. She was anything but a coward, if anything she's a braver woman than i am to do what she did.
So sorry to read of this. It was probably the hardest decision of her life, I imagine but anyone battling cancer is a hero in my eyes already...
post #23 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by sherral46 View Post
If they took their med.s they could be helped!
Is that you Tom Cruise?? Pls dont judge people. Certain diseases such as depression make people do what they would not ordinarily do, such as commit suicide. Some people with that condition want to live, they just dont want to live like that. Meds can and often do help, but not for every body. To say that suicide is a cowardly act, is way over the line. If you have been there as you say, then you should know better. Unless you have been there, you cannot imagine the extreme emotional pain that one is in to make them choose such a destructive act.
post #24 of 29
How sad...
post #25 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by sbw999 View Post
Is that you Tom Cruise?? Pls dont judge people. Certain diseases such as depression make people do what they would not ordinarily do, such as commit suicide. Some people with that condition want to live, they just dont want to live like that. Meds can and often do help, but not for every body. To say that suicide is a cowardly act, is way over the line. If you have been there as you say, then you should know better. Unless you have been there, you cannot imagine the extreme emotional pain that one is in to make them choose such a destructive act.
Do not slam me! I have been there!Suicide may end their pain,but what about the people they leave behind!their pain will never end!NEVER!Cancer can be cured,most of the time,if caught early,now she and her family will never know.Naturel death can be easier to deal with. IMO I have been through both,in my family,suicide leaves more questions than answers.
post #26 of 29
That is so horrible. poor kids.
post #27 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by sherral46 View Post
Cancer can be cured,most of the time,if caught early,now she and her family will never know.Naturel death can be easier to deal with.
If your meaning the close friend i lost, the answer is the cancer was too advanced before it was even detected, so she and her family did know that there was no cure for her.

When she took her life like she did i tried to put myself in her position, from going to her doctors surgery for her results, being told there was nothing they could do treatment wise, being told however length of time she had left in this world, then to take the lonely drive home on her own, and God only knows what thoughts were going through her head!, because me as selfish as it sounds i would have been thinking what i would be missing out on such as not being able to go out to lunch with friends anymore, being able to plan a holiday for the following year etc, because the only thing that would be on my mind would be waiting for the symptoms to get worse because theres no way i could go out and even "try" to enjoy myself knowing i only had a few months or so to live.

Yes it's sad for the families, but in cases such as my friend it certainly wasn't a walk in the park for her either
post #28 of 29
.sherral

You say "do not slam me! I have been there!" Yet you are prepared to sit there and Slam that bloke for what he has done and call him a coward.Who are you to sit in judgement of that man's mental health?

You say you have "been there" where axactly have you been? There are many differing forms and severing degrees of depression, You don't know this bloke so how can you say you have been there as though you were in the same position as him with the same problems and the same degree of depression?

You can't.

Nobody can.Because everybody who suffers depression in the MAJORITY of cases on their own for anywhere up to two years.
They do not seek treatment because they do not know they have a problem.
It is only the ones who realise they have a problem that seek help and the majority of suicides have never sought help,so it isn't as easy as you think to "take their meds".



Quote:
Originally Posted by sherral46
Cancer can be cured,most of the time,if caught early,now she and her family will never know.
Naturel death can be easier to deal with.

Judge Judy? What part of "Terminal" do you not understand?
post #29 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by sherral46 View Post
Do not slam me! I have been there!
I don't think anyone was slamming you, and I am sorry that you have been in that dark place.

Since you feel insulted, however, I would suggest you think about the fact that you insulted millions of people you have never known by calling them cowards.

The choice a person makes doesn't tell you much about the reason they made it. One person might refuse to go to war because of fear, another might refuse because of a moral objection, another might refuse because of a sense of duty that supercedes the duty to go to war, for example.

To call them all cowards is unfair - and those who went to war can only say for certain why they went, but not why others refused.
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