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My cat is very sick

post #1 of 30
Thread Starter 
Tango is 16 years old. He's a very special cat who has been with me through thick and thin, sickness, health, deaths in the family, divorce and helped watch over my 2 children. He helped raise Sophie, our 3 year old kitty. They are both beautiful himalayans. Tango is a seal point.

Yesterday, he took a sharp turn for the worse. He's had minor problems, or at least he handled them like they were minor. He's had mostly good days these past few months of becoming sicker. He has romped around with Sophie, occasionally jumping up and down from a chair in a game of chase. He's had a fabulous appetite and was amazingly spry for his age. When he started losing weight, the vet said to switch to Science Diet. It made all the difference for awhile and I kicked myself for not doing it sooner. But it didn't last long.

The past 2 days, I've had to sit beside him, dip my finger in a multitude of different things to tempt him to eat. He snatched bits of chicken up like he was going to gobble up my finger, licked at the juice from canned food, but turned his nose up at milk and water. I tried baby food this morning and he licked up a tiny bit of it.

I realized last night, I was going to have to make a decision I swore I would never make, unless he was in actual pain. I can see today that he may not cry out, but he is in pain and his eyes are becoming vacant. He has never been one to like the outdoors, but I took him outside on the swing so he could enjoy the sunshine and sounds. I looked him in the eyes and he rubbed against me. Do you think he would be angry with me for what I'm thinking? I cry as I think of it and don't know if I can make that drive to the vet's office. I don't really have the extra money, but when I can gather the courage, there is a vet near here that makes home visits for euthenasia. He deserves that. I can't bear to think of him being terrified in a vet's office that has smells and sounds to assault his remaining senses.

I will hold him in my arms because he deserves that, too. The vet's assistant said they don't usually give sedatives beforehand and he may have to be restrained. I won't have that. How can I hold him down for them to stick a needle in his leg?

I don't know about this, but how else can I help him? I can't let him go on much longer like this. I wish there were a less harsh way to help him to rest.

I told my 12 year old daughter last night he was not going to get any better and we may have to consider letting him die. I know she is old enough to understand but all she did was cry like I'm doing. I know there is nothing wrong with crying, but it hurts a great deal.

My beautiful Tango. I wish I could give him some more time. I wish he could pass quietly and without pain, hunger, or fear.

I was thinking last night ...how hard it's going to be to not be constantly looking out for him under foot. How much less I would be opening and closing the door to my room. You know how kitties can be...open the door they want out, close it and they want back in. Tango has stopped asking me to open the door the past few days and he's not underfoot as much. He doesn't hop up on the bed anymore and last night was the first time he hasn't come to help me tuck in my daughter.

Tango has been such a great friend. He has seen so many changes over his lifetime with the family dynamics and he's accepted everything with his special kitty style. He's been the alpha over several other pets that have come and gone. He's endured having a doggy in the house. He lost his master (the ex) and adopted a new one. I took him to see his "stepdad" a few days ago. It's strange because it' almost like he was holding on for that visit. After he saw him, it was like he just wanted to do that one last thing before he let himself slip away. Maybe I'm just trying to attribute a behavior to him that is more my thoughtsthan actual reality....I don't know. Tango is a special fella and I sure am going to find this hard to do.

I'm sorry for the long, rambling post. I just thought it would be good for me to put my fractured thoughts and feelings into words and maybe it will help me make a decision. Thank you to whoever listened.
post #2 of 30
Great big hugs to you - I know this is a very difficult time for you, but your love for your Tango shines brightly in your post. I know that whatever you decide to do will be what is best. We're here if you need us.
post #3 of 30
Thank you for joining us here at TCS and allowing us to share your pain and turmoil. Yes, Tango was always there for you, and now you have to be there for him. In making a decision that is so very, very painful for you and your daughter, you will be making the decision that ends Tango's pain. Cats do hide their incredible suffering remarkably well. Sometimes true love is indeed letting go and death sometimes does come as a friend. Tango will be quickly and soothingly released from his pain and distress, and your love for him will light the path over Rainbow Bridge where he will be greeted by all our other TCS kitties, and so many others that we've never met.
And all of us will be here at TCS to help you and your children get through the dark days ahead.
I thank the good Lord above for Tango - I know that when Tango crosses, he will be told by Him, "Well done, good and faithful servant!".
Please keep us posted on how things are going - so many of us here have recently (in the last couple of years or so) had to make the same decision. Being at TCS really does help.... Susan
post #4 of 30
Bless his little heart

Please keep us updated and when the time comes i'll place the candle here to help him on his way over the bridge
post #5 of 30
Tango's Mom, we all feel your pain, and just want you to know we're hear for whatever happens............ God bless your little guy.
post #6 of 30
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
post #7 of 30
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for your kind and understanding messages. I know it's nearing the time to say goodbye but I am terrified of the reality and mechanics of it. I'm not going to use that vet.

I have to give some thought to everything and talk things over with my family. He's got a bunch of people that love him. Everyone except my daughter accepts it. I promised her today that I'd try like heck to get him back up on his feet, eating, and drinking. I kept that promise. I also picked up 2 bottles of Newton's homeopathic remedies.

After the drops, he got up and walked around. My dad was going out the back door and Tango nudged past him and down the steps. (In human years, Tango and my dad are the same age.) He's never done that in all his years. I guess he decided it was about time he went out for a walk. For just a few minutes, I thought...well, maybe that's all he needed and he'll be better.

Sophie is quite an eater. She loves anything I eat, and all the stuff I don't. I put separate bowls out for Tango with small bits of tempting treats. Even when I'm not looking and Tango is away, Sophie hasn't touched his bowls. She didn't even sneak the milk. That's respect. He taught her that.

Thank you for listening to my thoughts about Tango and for understanding. It's not something I can instantly do. I didn't even begin to think I could consider helping him die until last night and didn't realize it would be so hard on him when life began to slip away. I thought and hoped it would be gentle while he slept.

Tomorrow is another day.
post #8 of 30
I'm very sorry to hear about Tango.

Older cats have their good days and bad days. I'm hoping he'll still have some quality time with those who love him. If not, he'll let you know when it's time.

It's one of the hardest decisions many of us ever have to make and I have no doubt that your pain right now is greater than Tango's. When the time comes, if you want him to receive a sedative and fall asleep in your arms, that's your choice. Find a veterinarian who will abide by your wishes.

post #9 of 30
I am so sorry you are in such an awful situation - but sometimes, pts is the humane option for our cats, and one that they would welcome. He certainly wont be angry with you, as if he is in pain or suffering, you will be ending that for him, and that is what we owe our furbabes. We can hope that they will go peacefully in their sleep, but I personally think it is kinder to let them go quickly by the vet, and we can be there with them and know that they didn't suffer. IF you can get a home visit, it will be kinder for him - some vets dont use a sedative, but when I have had it done without a sedative, there has been no need for a restraint - I just held them while the vet put the needle in, and within minutes it was over. I Will be thinking of you and Tango.
post #10 of 30
The pain you must be experiencing now brings tears to my eyes. Bless you. Precious Tango, you're very much on my heart today.
post #11 of 30
Thread Starter 
He died a few hours ago. My daughters were there. He knows he was loved. We will miss him very much. The doctor was gentle, kind, and understanding.

I thought I cried all I was going to...I guess it just has to happen when it happens. I know we did the right thing.
post #12 of 30
Im very sorry for your loss. Rest in Peace Tango.
post #13 of 30
I am so sorry for your loss.
post #14 of 30
I am very sorry for your loss! I read your other post...and can feel the love you have for Tango. I hope your happy memories bring you comfort.

Please stay at The Cat Site, and you will find many cat loving friends here.
post #15 of 30
I'm am so sorry for your loss, for your family's loss.

Rest in peace Tango.
post #16 of 30
I'm so incredibly sorry you lost your precious little boy and lifelong friend. There are no words to console such deep grief or fill the pain and emptiness you must be feeling. Please do know you're in my prayers as you struggle through this difficult time. Tango is now so happy and healthy in Heaven.
post #17 of 30
Thread Starter 
Thank you. Memories bring me comfort but they make me cry at the same time. There sure are a lot of memories. I was sitting here reading and thinking and I felt the caress of a a kitty walking past my leg. Sophie was behind me. Weird huh? The vet told me I'd see him around for a long time and that he just wanted to make sure his mom's heart was doing ok.

Well, I realize this day is just about over. Today my Tango died and I guess I don't want to sleep and wake up to realize he's really gone. But he is and it's a hard thing for me to deal with. He's been with me 16 years so it'll take awhile to adjust.
post #18 of 30
Death is so difficult to grasp, and once again tears are in my eyes as my heart truly aches for you with the pain you are experiencing. The hurt never goes away, but with time it does get easier to bear. Bless you.
post #19 of 30
I'm so sorry about your sweet boy. I definitely know exactly what you're going through, but I also know that with the kind of love you had for Tango, you knew exactly when was the right time. It's hard to explain to those who haven't been through it yet, but you...know. And I'm glad you and your daughters were there. I'm so glad we were there with our Smudge, and even though it still tears me up inside, I feel the sense of peace that came over him.

Be gentle with yourself. You will cry many times in the next few weeks. That is Tango's tribute, and your healing; it's ok.
Hugs - Kim.
post #20 of 30
Rest in peace Tango
post #21 of 30
What a sad time were having in the bridge I've merged both your threads so people can read them both together.

I'm so very sorry for your loss of your little boy Tango.

Play happily over the bridge sweet boy

post #22 of 30
I would like to apologize to Tango's Mom. We made a terrible mistake and accidentally merged Tango's tribute thread into his locked thread, thus locking them both and hindering all of us who have come to care for this sweet boy from replying to his special tribute. This was, understandably, very upsetting, and I do express my sincere regret, as my heart has truly ached for our new friend who has just struggled with a decision that we dare not even allow our hearts to imagine, experiencing the agonizing pain of losing her sweet love. Tango's thread is now restored. Let's honor this precious little angel.
post #23 of 30

Tango's mom ,

I know it is the most heartwrenching thing to have to do,but please know Tango will not stop loving you,he still loves you and always will.He now will be able to fully understand your inner turmoil and all the pain you felt about letting him go.

He loves you for that,he knows your pain and the last thing he wants you to feel is pain for letting him go.

He is watching over you and will be there beside you when you call his name.

R.I.P Tango Sweetie
Play happily at the bridge till you meet again.
post #24 of 30
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, it is such a hard thing to do, but done with their interests first, not ours. He will be watching you now, and he wont want you to be sad. RIP little one, and big hugs to you.
post #25 of 30
I am so sorry for what's happening. I hope he finally find rest and peace he dreams. My heart goes out to Tango, and to your family. He will definitely look down on you.
post #26 of 30
I am so sorry to here about Tango, these things are never easy and I hope you can find comfort that he's healthy and vibrant now, and hes now looking after your precious family.There is another Angel up in heaven.
post #27 of 30
I am so sorry for your loss of Tango. You love for him shines brightly through on all of your posts. He is at peace now, but your pain has begun. You most certainly made the right decision. In time your pain will lessen, to be replaced by the sweet memories of him.

RIP sweet Tango
post #28 of 30
I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you at this very difficult time you are facing, I hope in time you can smile again when you think of your precious Tango. Rest in peace now Tango and watch over your mommy.
post #29 of 30
I am so sorry that you lost your sweet boy You did everything you could to take care of him and see that he was happy, and I know he did the same for you. Tango will always hold a special place in your heart and will always be with you. I know it hurts so much right now, but with time you will find yourself smiling again as you remember special moments with your boy and what a blessing he was in your life.

We are all here for you when you need us
post #30 of 30
I'm bawling my eyes out reading your posts because I am so sorry for your loss and because I can relate so well. Last week we lost a 2 year old to pneumonia, then a few days later my 13 year old was acting sick and unable to jump and walk. I went through the range of emotions that you were feeling, wondering how to best decide when it's time to say goodbye. After so many years of loving your furry best friend, you have such an intense bond. Thumbs has been by my side every morning when I wake up for the past 12 1/2 years. But that bond is also so deep that you can tap into your kitty's feelings and sense when the time is right. You had to make such a difficult decision, and I hope that when I have to make that decision I have the same courage you have shown for your loved one.
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