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Is it wrong to want to live w/ur parents after 21? - Page 2

post #31 of 43
Thread Starter 
Wow, so many stories of experience!
I feel much more comfortable w/my decision in the future.
My mom always tells me that whenever Im ready I can move
and my dad just chuckles and tells me how hard life is on your
own and thus tells me of his struggles of going to school, work and
living in one of the temp apt on very little pay.
Im definetly not gonna loiter in my folks house. I even promised them
that when I get my first paycheck, I'll give to them to help pay bills.

Lilleah, do I really sound like a cute talker? I think Im pretty plain.
post #32 of 43
I want to add that if the boy wants a girlfriend, he better think about moving out or he'll be called a momma's boy... and it WILL be an issue if you ever get serious.

Sorry, I've had some mother-in-law issues lately.
post #33 of 43
I live with my Mom til i was 20...however i worked and paid her rent etc.
I didn't live there for free...she wouldn't let me lol
post #34 of 43
I'm 21 and i still live with my mom. I work full time and go to school full time as well. It's just me and my mom- so it kinda works out better this way for now. She's getting older and isn't able to work as much, so i make up for it and help with the bills and whatever else needs to be taken care of. Also, all of the animals are mine, so i take care of them as well. I don't think there's anything wrong with living with your parents, but in a while i know i definitely want to move out. I'm just not finanacially able to afford that at the moment between school and work. Also i spend about 1/2 my time at my house and 1/2 my time at my boyfriends house. I don't want to move in with him until i'm married...i don't mind staying there occassionally, but my stuff stays at my house. For me personally, i don't think having a live-in boyfriend is right for me, but for some people it seems to work out ok. I told my boyfriend i'll move in with him when i have a ring on my finger . So i've talked to my mom and Colin about moving and both think i should just stay home because i only have a bit more left of school, and the only housing i'd be able to afford would be in a really bad area of town. I will likely be getting married in a resonable amount of time...and Colin already owns a house so there's really no point in me wasting money into renting an apartment right now. If however something were to happen and i needed a place to live- i would definitely invest in a house, i could qualify for a first time home owner loan and make a good investment instead of throwing money away into rent. But for now, i'm with my mom and i help out here....it's just been us for years . We're happy and we both split the bills.
post #35 of 43
I think that depends on your social upbringing, but to say it's "wrong" is a bit overboard IMO.

Some cultures find it improper or irresponsible to be living with your folks beyond age of 18. Here in Asia, families are extended, and ties are close, It's even accepted that you live with your folks even when you're married, for some that is, not for the likes of me

I lived with a boyfriend (and cats) by college, and I live alone in Singapore (with cats )

Financial dependence comes into play as well.

But it's matter of privacy I guess for me, I have domestic space issues and I can't live with my prying mother. She also doesn't like cats.

And I luuurve cats

post #36 of 43
Originally Posted by Godiva View Post
I want to add that if the boy wants a girlfriend, he better think about moving out or he'll be called a momma's boy... and it WILL be an issue if you ever get serious.
I have this conversation with my BF's brother all the time, he lived at home until he was 25, at which point my BF moved out with some friends so he asked if he could move with him, they lived together until about a year after I moved with my BF (we just couldn't take any more of him) so he moved back with his parents again. Now he complains how girls don't take him seriously
post #37 of 43
I think it depends on the person. For me, living at home was not something I wanted. I always felt as if I was my mom's personal Cinderella. She would get home from work, sit down, and tell me, "Get me a glass of pop..get me some food..." etc. and then ask why the housework wasn't done. This was when I was in school from about 7:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. and I had only 2-3 hours to clean the entire house before she got home, or I was in trouble.

Because of that, I really, really, REALLY, had to move out as soon as I could. I also have a curfew when I'm staying there for a night or two...midnight or one a.m. depending on how she's feeling, and I'm TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD!

I would have gone nuts long ago.

That being said, if you have a good relationship with your parents, and it works out to be the best option, then I can't imagine why it would be a problem.
post #38 of 43
I moved out when I was 19, after I finished high school and had worked for a year to pay for university (when I was in high school, Ontario students had a Grade 13 or OAC -- Ontario Academic Credit; this is no longer the case). I had personal problems with my parents, mostly revolving around money, and I was just ready to fly on my own. I paid for university myself (with financial aid and scholarships) and lived in residence the first year, then moved out on my own after that. This is what worked for me. I was emotionally ready to live on my own and I needed a break from my family -- we get along a lot better now that I don't live with any of them.

My younger sister went away to university but always went back home for the summers. After she graduated, she moved back in with our parents to work and save up money for teacher's college; because she wasn't required to pay rent, gas, car insurance or utilities, and because she worked full time, she was able to save up enough money to pay for teacher's college in New Zealand. This is what worked for her -- I could never have stayed so long with my parents, and if she had done what I did and moved out permanently, she wouldn't have been able to afford school as quickly as she did.

My boyfriend's younger sister also moved back in with their parents after graduation, and was able to save up money for a down payment on a house, so now she and her fiance have a house and can afford to renovate it, and they've saved up enough for their wedding next July.

I think it's the people who stay at home and contribute nothing to the household who are crazy -- as are their parents for letting them get away with it! I know a couple of guys who still live with their parents, and their moms still do all their laundry and make their lunches and dinners for them, and their contribution to the household is keeping a spot on the couch warm while they play video games all day. Why bother looking for a job when everything is provided for you? Who needs to learn how to cook and clean when Mom is clearly content with being your personal servant? That sort of behaviour just irks me.
post #39 of 43
MY brother who is 30 still techically loves with my parents. He is a long haul truck driver and is only "home" 8-10 days a month. Although he could do a little more around the house for my parents they seem quite happy to have him.
My mother insists to this day that if I am coming home for the weekend I am to bring my laundry home so she can hang it on the line. I think it is her little way of making sure i'm taken care of in the big city.
A lot of people in my generation are living with their parents into their late 20's I don't see a problem with it. Now if you still dind't have a licence and were getting your parents to drive you on dates now thats SAD!
post #40 of 43
In Asia it is standard practice for parents to live with the first child that had children, so the grandparents care for the grandchildren while the parents work full time.
post #41 of 43
Right or wrong, I did live with my parents until I was like 26. Once I graduated from high school, I didn't go to the university but I went to the local community college where there were no dorms. People lived with the friends in an appartment around town or with their parents. I didn't move out until I met my husband.
post #42 of 43
I lived with my mom on and off till I was ummm mmm 24

I dont think she liked it though. She thought I should be on my own.
post #43 of 43
It definitely depends on the situation. I moved out to go to university, coming home during the summers to work and save money. When I graduated I got a job in a city about an hour from my parents. If I had stayed and continued to work in Toronto (where my parents are), I probably couldn't have afforded to rent a place on my own since the cost of housing is huge there. But here I have been able to afford to buy a house on my own and live quite comfortable. Several of my friends though that stayed to work in toronto had no choice but to live at home since the couldn't afford the rent downtown.

You have to weigh the pros and cons to make your decision. Sometimes it's easy...sometimes not.
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