Is it wrong to want to live w/ur parents after 21?

To me it is about why you are choosing to live with your parents.
If it is a temporary situation for a specific reason like your saving up money for a home down payment, caring for an ill parent etc. then it is fine.

If it is because you are unwilling to go out on your own and get on with your life then maybe it isn't a good idea. There are things you need to learn how to do and you'd best get on with it. Should something unforseen happen that forces you to live alone you will be horribly unprepared.

No matter what your parents say to your face, they are looking forward to having their home and their time to themselves. They have raised you, worked for years to support you, and now it is their time to be without you constantly around.

FWIW I have been sefl supporting since I was 18, and my daughter has been self supporting since getting out of college.

Yeah, living by yourself is expensive- get used to it. Life is expensive. Get a room mate, lower your standard of living, do without- we all had to start there. But in my world you either go to school full time to live at home, or work full time to support yourself.

I'm in an in between situation. I do live out of my parents house in an apartment where I go to school, but I am lucky enough that my parents pay for the bills. I have scholarships that pay for school, so my parents said that as long as I continue to do well in school, they do not mind paying for my living expenses. But let me say that I am not using their money for personal things, they pay the bills since I don't have a whole lot of time during the school year to work, but I use my own money to buy personal things. And I am still gaining responsability by living on my own, and I still take care of actually handling money and paying the bills. (My parents deposit money into my account, and I pay the bills, buy groceries, etc.) I think its a great opporutnity for me, and am lucky to be in a situation where its possible for my family. But depending on where I go to graduate school, I may move back in with my parents for that, so I can save up money until me and my BF get married. Like people have said, it all depends on your family relationships and the individual circumstances.

I told my prents since I was a young teen that I wasn't moving out till I get married.....Well lets say I got married at 17. But the thing is I was confortable living at home and I think I would have stayed there for a while if I haven't meet my hubby. I believe it is fine and I hope that my children aren't in a hurry to leave either. I think if it works for all of you, don't worry about it.

I'm going to be 18 in a few months, and I plan on moving out shortly after I graduate in May. My boyfriend recently turned 22, and he still lives at home. He's waiting for me to graduate so we can get our own place while I go to college.

No, I don 't think it's "wrong." As long as your parents feel ok about it, it's fine to want to wait to move out until you feel completely comfortable and ready. I would aim for a goal and the mark of when you want to move out so you don't lose sight of what you want for yourself.

That's not weird especially if your parents want you there. i lived home till I got married @ 28 My brother stayed home till he got married @ 30 but he did work out of town 70 percent of the time. My other brother and sister moved out much younger, but my Dad wanted us to live there forever I think it's some italian thing!

I don't think its wrong or taboo to still live with your parents at 21. I had to move back to my parents when I was 24/25. I Didn't stay long though. Although it was nice to have the extra cash, I personally didn't want to stay there.

I think that once you get up in age, i.e. towards 30, IMO you should start to look at moving out and being on your own, unless there are certain circumstances, such as unemployed, medical reasons, etc.

I think it really depends on the relationship you have with your parents.

If you get along fine, why not just stay, you have extra cash and not worry about bills.
As much as you get alogn with your parents though, if you move back home after 21 its much harder to deal with, because you need to settle back to the old routines, that may not suit you.

I had to move back to my parents once my ex and i broke up, but that was only for financial reasons.
I plan to move out again sometime nxt year.
My parents are making me crazy

I lived with my parents until age 20...going to college full time. Then I married and moved out. Then divorced and moved back in, with 2 kids! Not paying rent for 2-1/2 years allowed me to complete my college without adding up any debt. Then I moved out after graduation, and was able to support my little family.

DD wanted to stay home, do no housework or cooking, and couldn't keep a steady job. Once I realized she had no intention of pulling her weight, I gave her 2 months to start paying rent. She moved out, and has been mooching off other people for the past few years. She is growing up, though, and is now working almost full time.

So to me, if you are working or going to school full time, you can stay home. If your plan is to stay there for the next 40 years, and your only independence will be after the parents pass...you will not lead a very happy or fulfilling life. With housing etc being so expensive, I can fully understand staying home a few years beyond 21, but you need to have a game plan and goals.

Where I live there are really no rental units available (cow town), so most kids who choose to stay in the area stay with their parents until they are married and get their own house with their spouse or if they choose not to marry they may live with the parents forever or until they feel comfortable to purchase their own house. Here it is the norm rather than the exception to stay with parents. After 30 it tends to be more frowned upon, especially for guys.

I went to college and then moved in with my ex for a little while and ended up coming to stay with my parents. I got an OK job and pay my own bills. I was staying at my then fiance's probably 85% of the time though.. Then I kind of inherited a house and was working on remodeling it with my fiance when the relationship fell through so now we're in limbo and I'm staying here while deciding what to do about the property if anything. Since staying with my parents I have been able to save a lot of money. We get along well although sometimes do get on each others nerves. Lately I'm probably thinking I should leave because I really can't have any real privacy and it's making me uncomfortable.

But I have an uncle who is in his mid 50s and he never left his parents house, now he's bling blingin.. Not married or anything though.. And then my bf has two aunts who never left the house.. also bling blingin buying a new lexus every year and that.. they never married either. I'm sure if they had gotten married they would have left the nest.

Wow, so many stories of experience!
I feel much more comfortable w/my decision in the future.
My mom always tells me that whenever Im ready I can move
and my dad just chuckles and tells me how hard life is on your
own and thus tells me of his struggles of going to school, work and
living in one of the temp apt on very little pay.
Im definetly not gonna loiter in my folks house. I even promised them
that when I get my first paycheck, I'll give to them to help pay bills.

Lilleah, do I really sound like a cute talker? I think Im pretty plain.

I want to add that if the boy wants a girlfriend, he better think about moving out or he'll be called a momma's boy... and it WILL be an issue if you ever get serious.

Sorry, I've had some mother-in-law issues lately.

I'm 21 and i still live with my mom. I work full time and go to school full time as well. It's just me and my mom- so it kinda works out better this way for now. She's getting older and isn't able to work as much, so i make up for it and help with the bills and whatever else needs to be taken care of. Also, all of the animals are mine, so i take care of them as well. I don't think there's anything wrong with living with your parents, but in a while i know i definitely want to move out. I'm just not finanacially able to afford that at the moment between school and work. Also i spend about 1/2 my time at my house and 1/2 my time at my boyfriends house. I don't want to move in with him until i'm married...i don't mind staying there occassionally, but my stuff stays at my house. For me personally, i don't think having a live-in boyfriend is right for me, but for some people it seems to work out ok. I told my boyfriend i'll move in with him when i have a ring on my finger . So i've talked to my mom and Colin about moving and both think i should just stay home because i only have a bit more left of school, and the only housing i'd be able to afford would be in a really bad area of town. I will likely be getting married in a resonable amount of time...and Colin already owns a house so there's really no point in me wasting money into renting an apartment right now. If however something were to happen and i needed a place to live- i would definitely invest in a house, i could qualify for a first time home owner loan and make a good investment instead of throwing money away into rent. But for now, i'm with my mom and i help out here....it's just been us for years . We're happy and we both split the bills.

Originally Posted by Godiva

I want to add that if the boy wants a girlfriend, he better think about moving out or he'll be called a momma's boy... and it WILL be an issue if you ever get serious.

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I have this conversation with my BF's brother all the time, he lived at home until he was 25, at which point my BF moved out with some friends so he asked if he could move with him, they lived together until about a year after I moved with my BF (we just couldn't take any more of him) so he moved back with his parents again. Now he complains how girls don't take him seriously

I think it depends on the person. For me, living at home was not something I wanted. I always felt as if I was my mom's personal Cinderella. She would get home from work, sit down, and tell me, "Get me a glass of pop..get me some food..." etc. and then ask why the housework wasn't done. This was when I was in school from about 7:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. and I had only 2-3 hours to clean the entire house before she got home, or I was in trouble.

Because of that, I really, really, REALLY, had to move out as soon as I could. I also have a curfew when I'm staying there for a night or two...midnight or one a.m. depending on how she's feeling, and I'm TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD!

I would have gone nuts long ago.

That being said, if you have a good relationship with your parents, and it works out to be the best option, then I can't imagine why it would be a problem.

I moved out when I was 19, after I finished high school and had worked for a year to pay for university (when I was in high school, Ontario students had a Grade 13 or OAC -- Ontario Academic Credit; this is no longer the case). I had personal problems with my parents, mostly revolving around money, and I was just ready to fly on my own. I paid for university myself (with financial aid and scholarships) and lived in residence the first year, then moved out on my own after that. This is what worked for me. I was emotionally ready to live on my own and I needed a break from my family -- we get along a lot better now that I don't live with any of them.

My younger sister went away to university but always went back home for the summers. After she graduated, she moved back in with our parents to work and save up money for teacher's college; because she wasn't required to pay rent, gas, car insurance or utilities, and because she worked full time, she was able to save up enough money to pay for teacher's college in New Zealand. This is what worked for her -- I could never have stayed so long with my parents, and if she had done what I did and moved out permanently, she wouldn't have been able to afford school as quickly as she did.

My boyfriend's younger sister also moved back in with their parents after graduation, and was able to save up money for a down payment on a house, so now she and her fiance have a house and can afford to renovate it, and they've saved up enough for their wedding next July.

I think it's the people who stay at home and contribute nothing to the household who are crazy -- as are their parents for letting them get away with it! I know a couple of guys who still live with their parents, and their moms still do all their laundry and make their lunches and dinners for them, and their contribution to the household is keeping a spot on the couch warm while they play video games all day. Why bother looking for a job when everything is provided for you? Who needs to learn how to cook and clean when Mom is clearly content with being your personal servant? That sort of behaviour just irks me.

MY brother who is 30 still techically loves with my parents. He is a long haul truck driver and is only "home" 8-10 days a month. Although he could do a little more around the house for my parents they seem quite happy to have him.
My mother insists to this day that if I am coming home for the weekend I am to bring my laundry home so she can hang it on the line. I think it is her little way of making sure i'm taken care of in the big city.
A lot of people in my generation are living with their parents into their late 20's I don't see a problem with it. Now if you still dind't have a licence and were getting your parents to drive you on dates now thats SAD!

In Asia it is standard practice for parents to live with the first child that had children, so the grandparents care for the grandchildren while the parents work full time.