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Is it wrong to want to live w/ur parents after 21?

post #1 of 43
Thread Starter 
Ok, most teens my age usually think about movin out right?
No longer on the leash the parents hold and finally able to do what you want.
I myself don't think that way. Sure my parents tick me off sometimes but I don't really think a lot about living on my own because I realize that at my age, it would be very difficult.
I personally rather stay with my parents until maybe my mid 20's because by then I would have a steady job, know where Im going in life, and have a steady income. Or I could just stay w/my folks forever and take the house when they pass.
I kinda think that because our parents hold the "When your older..." speech over our heads that when we finally do get older we can't wait to be "free" and don't really think about what it really means to be older and ready for the real world.
Oh look at me, rambling.
I just wanted to say that I rather spend another 10 more years with my parents then be in such a hurry to leave the nest...and the leash.
Am I a weirdo or am I just wise?
post #2 of 43
I moved out at 18 to go to university, and apart from a week or two in the summer rarely spent more than a few days at home... I guess it depends on what kind of person you are and what kind of job you have. I had a really good job throughout university so could afford to live away from home all the time and when I finished university, I moved to Canada to be with my BF, but he has his own business and I have a decent job so it wasn't ever a money issue for me
post #3 of 43
Originally Posted by XangelicxnekoX View Post
Am I a weirdo or am I just wise?
Perhaps both. As long as it is what you want - and is not an imposition on your parents - than vive la difference.
post #4 of 43
As long as your parents are ok with it and it's what you're positive that you want it, I say go for it. I do have to say, however, that there's a lot to be gained from being on your own. If I were you, I'd want to pay for my own things while living there, perhaps even a portion of the mortgage. You don't want to be 40 or 50 years old and not know how to handle bills and manage money and work for all of your own things. You'd also want to learn how to cook, help clean and be prepared for potential mates to be sort of...um...weirded out by the whole arrangement.

Personally, I'm more like icklemiss. I left 3 weeks after I turned 18 and haven't been back for longer than a week at a time!
post #5 of 43
Thread Starter 
Oh I cook and clean and hold up my share!
Im even scounting out for job.
Im just saying that it feels like kids my age jump out there on their own
"just to get away from the 'rents" w/out really knowing what responsibility is, i.e paying bills.
I just want to build a stronger foundation before tackling the world bymyself
post #6 of 43
Its nice to have a place to stay for free and only pay your little bills, i.e. cell phone, car insurance, credit cards. That's nice and its the pleasure i have, yea i'm a bum, 24 still living w/my mom but if anybody lives in or around Jersey you know that to live here is not cheap by any chance. I am not lazy by any means, i work a full time job, clean the house, do the laundry, feed the animals, wash the dishes, mow the lawn, etc since my mother doesnt do much. I want out w/in the year, which is more than likely going to happen cause me and Vinnie are going to be moving in together....YEA!!! Even if you are living at home and at least supporting yourself and not asking mom and pops for things then more power to you!!! (I grew up middle class in a high class town and not a single classmate of mine knew what it was like to have to work for things they wanted.)
post #7 of 43
Depends... I am 28 and live with Mom ... I pay rent, do the shopping ,run the errands, hold down many jobs, help Mom ... For me living on my own was a distater and I am actually unable( long story some of you know) ... Mom gets a "caretaker " I get a place for me and the kids for less than it would be otherwise///
post #8 of 43
I don't think it's wrong at all. not saying that because I am almost 21. if you help around the house, pay the rent, do your share, etc..of course I help a lot with our 6 pets that's how it should be imo.
I don't see a problem with it. Of course I do all of that except pay the rent as I am looking for a job, it just depends on the parents you have. plus, some kids have a hard time moving out, because they just simply don't want to leave and that's fine IMO. it depends on the children if they want to go move out or stay and their parents until they get on their feet.. they have to be supportive of that. they don't exactly have to be supportive of that especially if their kid causes trouble in the home and always gets in to trouble and what not like has parties without the parents' permission or doesn't do their share of what they should be doing. of course this is all just my honest to dog opinion.
post #9 of 43
Originally Posted by XangelicxnekoX View Post
Oh I cook and clean and hold up my share!
Im even scounting out for job.
Im just saying that it feels like kids my age jump out there on their own
"just to get away from the 'rents" w/out really knowing what responsibility is, i.e paying bills.
I just want to build a stronger foundation before tackling the world bymyself
Haha, with my parents and I it was a "you can't fire me, I quit" situation. The expectation was for me to leave (or be pushed from) the nest at 18, and by the time i turned 18....well, let's just say I was packed several weeks in advance. But that's the mindset I grew up in, and was raised accordingly and do perfectly well all on my own, and I'm proud of that.

But, we're all different and with the 10 or so people who have posted on this thread, you have 10 or so different backgrounds. To each his or her own, provided he/she can br productive members of society!
post #10 of 43
I'm 21 and I still live with my mom. I haven't been able to afford anything really. I just decided to go back to school so I will still live at home a few more years. Me and my boyfriend have been together for four years and she lets him live here so that is cool. I help pay for food, so that is kind of my rent. After I get out of school and when my boyfriend finishes school, then we will be able to get married and have our own house.
post #11 of 43
I think your very wise,the last thing a young person needs is to be pushed out the door by their parents.
If you are happy still being at home and there is no problems at home them why not?

I'm sure your parents want the best for you,and if that means staying at home for however long and saving up and not rushing into the first relationship you come across,then I think that would make any parent happy.
Just remember your parents need their own space too now and again
post #12 of 43
I think it's fine. I think I had almost the same thoughts as you on it. I didn't leave till I got married, which was actually just before turning 21, but if I hadn't I'd have stayed till I got 'settled' in a good job.
post #13 of 43
You talk so cute! I love it.
You've gotta be like one of the cutest talkers ever.
post #14 of 43
Whilst living at home isnt ideal for me, I am lucky as I have the coolest parents.

For my birthday this year (as they done most years) they let me throw a huge party and not only that, they paid for all the food, drink and then cleaned up the mess afterwards

I know how lucky I am that my parents are very easy going and let me have a lot of freedom.

There is no way I could afford to move out yet, so them being so great makes things a lot easier.
post #15 of 43
I left my family at age 13 to come to America, so I really don't have any idea what to feel about this issue......

I think I would feel safer living with my parents if I were unmarried and the financial help would help me save money for my future house.Rent is such a waste of money and having cats prevent me from moving to places I really want.

My dad is a polygamist, so I cannot ever live with my family nowadays and be involved in the daily arguments (Whoever thinks that being a polygamist would get you laid more is an idiot....with two wives, nobody gets laid. )
post #16 of 43
I don't think it's wrong to live with your parents, and sometimes circumstances necessitate moving back in for a while, but it's pretty much a personal thing. Personally, I wouldn't have gone back to my parents for love nor money after leaving to go to university. Once I'd lived on my own I could never have accepted the restrictions that would have come with living at home again. I also think it's hard to grow up if you live with your parents as an adult since you're always a child to your parents (a friend of mine has her parents living with her temporarily as they are moving into a new house near her, and she got chastised by her mother for being up late one night on the computer - my friend is 36 years old!). I think it's good to be independent and learn how to make ends meet when you havent much money - it's character building!
post #17 of 43
I say whatever works for you and your parents..............
post #18 of 43
Well I moved in with my fiance a little bit before I turned 21 and now we're married but I don't think I would have moved out on my own. Pretty much all my freinds..who are all now 22 are still living at home and I don't think it's weird at all. My advice though is to SAVE SAVE SAVE so once you do move out you'll have enough money to buy a house. Much better than wasting your money on rent.
post #19 of 43
Okay when I was 18 I moved out on my own and then I got married at 22 and it didn't work out ended very badly. Well I moved to TN for a bit and was staying with my mother and was paying her $600 a month in rent plus my own food. Well I was pregnant at the time and I had a miscarriage, and I went into denial and I had to come back home, my dad raised me. And now I am staying here helping dad out with bills because we recently found out he's a diabetic and he needs more help around the place. So I think it depends on the circumstances.
post #20 of 43
I moved out when I was 19. Let's just say it's had it's ups and downs.

As for living with your parents after 21, I'd say as long as you aren't taking advantage of the situation, and you and your parents are on the same page as to how the relationship works (paying rent, cleaning, buying your own food) then you should be fine.
post #21 of 43
To me it is about why you are choosing to live with your parents.
If it is a temporary situation for a specific reason like your saving up money for a home down payment, caring for an ill parent etc. then it is fine.

If it is because you are unwilling to go out on your own and get on with your life then maybe it isn't a good idea. There are things you need to learn how to do and you'd best get on with it. Should something unforseen happen that forces you to live alone you will be horribly unprepared.

No matter what your parents say to your face, they are looking forward to having their home and their time to themselves. They have raised you, worked for years to support you, and now it is their time to be without you constantly around.

FWIW I have been sefl supporting since I was 18, and my daughter has been self supporting since getting out of college.

Yeah, living by yourself is expensive- get used to it. Life is expensive. Get a room mate, lower your standard of living, do without- we all had to start there. But in my world you either go to school full time to live at home, or work full time to support yourself.
post #22 of 43
I'm in an in between situation. I do live out of my parents house in an apartment where I go to school, but I am lucky enough that my parents pay for the bills. I have scholarships that pay for school, so my parents said that as long as I continue to do well in school, they do not mind paying for my living expenses. But let me say that I am not using their money for personal things, they pay the bills since I don't have a whole lot of time during the school year to work, but I use my own money to buy personal things. And I am still gaining responsability by living on my own, and I still take care of actually handling money and paying the bills. (My parents deposit money into my account, and I pay the bills, buy groceries, etc.) I think its a great opporutnity for me, and am lucky to be in a situation where its possible for my family. But depending on where I go to graduate school, I may move back in with my parents for that, so I can save up money until me and my BF get married. Like people have said, it all depends on your family relationships and the individual circumstances.
post #23 of 43
I told my prents since I was a young teen that I wasn't moving out till I get married.....Well lets say I got married at 17. But the thing is I was confortable living at home and I think I would have stayed there for a while if I haven't meet my hubby. I believe it is fine and I hope that my children aren't in a hurry to leave either. I think if it works for all of you, don't worry about it.
post #24 of 43
I'm going to be 18 in a few months, and I plan on moving out shortly after I graduate in May. My boyfriend recently turned 22, and he still lives at home. He's waiting for me to graduate so we can get our own place while I go to college.
post #25 of 43
No, I don 't think it's "wrong." As long as your parents feel ok about it, it's fine to want to wait to move out until you feel completely comfortable and ready. I would aim for a goal and the mark of when you want to move out so you don't lose sight of what you want for yourself.
post #26 of 43
That's not weird especially if your parents want you there. i lived home till I got married @ 28 My brother stayed home till he got married @ 30 but he did work out of town 70 percent of the time. My other brother and sister moved out much younger, but my Dad wanted us to live there forever I think it's some italian thing!
post #27 of 43
I don't think its wrong or taboo to still live with your parents at 21. I had to move back to my parents when I was 24/25. I Didn't stay long though. Although it was nice to have the extra cash, I personally didn't want to stay there.

I think that once you get up in age, i.e. towards 30, IMO you should start to look at moving out and being on your own, unless there are certain circumstances, such as unemployed, medical reasons, etc.
post #28 of 43
I think it really depends on the relationship you have with your parents.

If you get along fine, why not just stay, you have extra cash and not worry about bills.
As much as you get alogn with your parents though, if you move back home after 21 its much harder to deal with, because you need to settle back to the old routines, that may not suit you.

I had to move back to my parents once my ex and i broke up, but that was only for financial reasons.
I plan to move out again sometime nxt year.
My parents are making me crazy
post #29 of 43
I lived with my parents until age 20...going to college full time. Then I married and moved out. Then divorced and moved back in, with 2 kids! Not paying rent for 2-1/2 years allowed me to complete my college without adding up any debt. Then I moved out after graduation, and was able to support my little family.

DD wanted to stay home, do no housework or cooking, and couldn't keep a steady job. Once I realized she had no intention of pulling her weight, I gave her 2 months to start paying rent. She moved out, and has been mooching off other people for the past few years. She is growing up, though, and is now working almost full time.

So to me, if you are working or going to school full time, you can stay home. If your plan is to stay there for the next 40 years, and your only independence will be after the parents pass...you will not lead a very happy or fulfilling life. With housing etc being so expensive, I can fully understand staying home a few years beyond 21, but you need to have a game plan and goals.
post #30 of 43
Where I live there are really no rental units available (cow town), so most kids who choose to stay in the area stay with their parents until they are married and get their own house with their spouse or if they choose not to marry they may live with the parents forever or until they feel comfortable to purchase their own house. Here it is the norm rather than the exception to stay with parents. After 30 it tends to be more frowned upon, especially for guys.

I went to college and then moved in with my ex for a little while and ended up coming to stay with my parents. I got an OK job and pay my own bills. I was staying at my then fiance's probably 85% of the time though.. Then I kind of inherited a house and was working on remodeling it with my fiance when the relationship fell through so now we're in limbo and I'm staying here while deciding what to do about the property if anything. Since staying with my parents I have been able to save a lot of money. We get along well although sometimes do get on each others nerves. Lately I'm probably thinking I should leave because I really can't have any real privacy and it's making me uncomfortable.

But I have an uncle who is in his mid 50s and he never left his parents house, now he's bling blingin.. Not married or anything though.. And then my bf has two aunts who never left the house.. also bling blingin buying a new lexus every year and that.. they never married either. I'm sure if they had gotten married they would have left the nest.
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