Facing a deployment

Best wishes to you!
My friend's husband just got deployed last month. He is her crutch on a lot of things, and she's been touch and go since he left.

I wish you nothing but the best while Erik is away.

Oh, those tips bring back memories. When my ex was in the Navy...I bought really bright envelopes. That way he could pick out my letters easily. I also numbered the letters, because sometimes they get delivered out of order.

And MoochnNoodles is right about the news...do not watch the news! Try to make friends with some military wives, so you will have someone who understands. Hopefully army wives are better than the navy wives...so many of them were just tramps that I was embarrassed to be with them. At one party when the hubbies were gone, some of the women were dropped off by their boyfriends!

Try to sit down and talk to him about the extra stress right now. And then focus on the wedding...what a happy day that will be!

Originally Posted by Beckiboo

And MoochnNoodles is right about the news...do not watch the news! Try to make friends with some military wives, so you will have someone who understands. Hopefully army wives are better than the navy wives...so many of them were just tramps that I was embarrassed to be with them. At one party when the hubbies were gone, some of the women were dropped off by their boyfriends!:

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Yeah, I was part of a board for Army wives before but MAN, a lot of the girls on there were trash. I couldn't stand it and got more headaches from it than information. I've heard of SO many cheating stories while their guys were away...I could never ever do that to Erik, that's so sad. They don't really love them if they could do that just because the distance is hard. Ugh.

Crystal, we are all here for you. That's all I can say.

Originally Posted by Crystal211

Yeah, I was part of a board for Army wives before but MAN, a lot of the girls on there were trash. I couldn't stand it and got more headaches from it than information. I've heard of SO many cheating stories while their guys were away...I could never ever do that to Erik, that's so sad. They don't really love them if they could do that just because the distance is hard. Ugh.

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Seems that is in all branches. When my step-father deployed about a year after he and my mother married the two neighbor ladies were just shocked she didn't see it as an opportunity 'to play.' It's a shame. I just couldn't imagine myself being like that. It's just uncomprehendable to me.

Crystal, if you ever want to talk about wedding stresses, I'm here. My wedding is two weeks before yours, so I'm going through the planning process as well. *hugs* I know you're a strong person and that you both can make it through anything...you wouldn't have gotten this far if you weren't strong.

Also, keep reminding yourself that it's easy to fall in love, but it takes work to stay in love. I know you probably already know that, but just reminding yourself will keep you focused on the good things, instead of the bad.

Originally Posted by emrldsky

Also, keep reminding yourself that it's easy to fall in love, but it takes work to stay in love. I know you probably already know that, but just reminding yourself will keep you focused on the good things, instead of the bad.

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Very well said - that's definitely one thing I learned when he left for training, I don't think it can be said enough.

<<Ever since he told me, we've been fighting and having such issues (since Friday). We had a HUGE fight last night and both ended up crying and venting our frustrations about the deployment and how we don't want it to happen. We promised to take advantage of every day until he leaves...we had no problems with fighting up until this weekend (minus the occasional spat). >>

Yep- that's REAL common. Fighting before a deployment that is. It's been a LOOOONG time since I did one- I had a baby in the house the last time dh was gone for 6 months.

And as far as the wives fooling around on hubbies- UGH. That happens too. I had a friend from college who moved here with her husband. I don't even think they'd been married a year (I think the marriage was doomed from the beginning, but that's a whole other story). He left on deployment- and she went out to "play", and met a bunch of other people who did the same thing. Only when I went out with her (for a drink with the "girls") and got hit on by some guy did I realize just what she was doing <sigh>. Never went out with her again after that- in fact I didn't speak to her for MONTHS.

Staying in touch with deployed military members is just so much easier now. When my dh deployed all we could do is send letters. I got phone calls occasionaly- but they were expensive. $100 a phone call expensive. And we had a baby, house payment and I wasn't working at the time. Now ships have email that the guys get daily.

I'm not sure just how available email is for any of the other services, since I only have Navy experience.

If you have any other questions just ask. My dh has been in the Navy for 16 years now. 7 were active duty- 8 were reserves and he's just been recalled for the next year ( April '06 though he's got shore duty- long hours but at least he's home)

Im sorry Good luck

I'm just skimming through posts I've missed and ran across this one,

First it's going to be hard on you and him (I was deployed in 2004).

Best thing is to keep in touch, send him lots of care packages (be sure you know what is and is not allowed to send (((generally no alcohol or pornographic materiel)))....and lots of letters.

You can send email to (and maybe it's cause I'm a woman) but I think a hand written letter touches the heart of a deployed soldier more than anything else.

For you, seek the support of your community, both IRL and online here.

Come on here if you need to vent, talk or cry.



It's going to be hard.....but you can make it through this and so will he.

Sorry to butt in, but just because you guys arent cheating on "him" what about him having a boys night out and having a hanky panky?
I know the word trust means alot, but do you honestly believe after not seeing for a year and a half they will really stick to their own hands?

I cant really immagine having my partner leaving me for a year and a half just to serve my country.

Are you kidding me?! Are you honestly coming here and saying that he's going to run off and cheat on me because we're apart?

We just got over being apart for a year and a half and we were fine.

I have nothing more to say to that.

Originally Posted by fwan

Sorry to butt in, but just because you guys arent cheating on "him" what about him having a boys night out and having a hanky panky?

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And a "boys night out" in Afghanistan? Give me a break. He's going to be on a base there guarding it and driving people around. There's NOWHERE to go to have a "boys night out."

I don't think she meant offense by it.

And I can see how you would take offense to it. (((Hugs)))

Look if there is anything you need or even someone to talk to, especially while he's gone.....I've been in the situation but with the roles reversed (I was deployed). PM more or hit me up on yahoo.

Thank you, I appreciate it.

No problem, I'm sure this is a very emotional time for you. It was for me knowing I was the one that had to leave, and it was for my husband as well.

You aren't alone.....There are a ton of songs I could recommend but I'm sure they'd all just make you cry.