i need everyones advice please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i talked to my b/f about signing something and it didnt go as planned he said if i think he wont pay me back then we need to have a talk about our relaionship. He said that he was gonne giveme the full $1,000 on his next bonus check and then its up to me if i wanna give it back right away or keep paying payments. i know he will pay me back tho. i also wanted to say thanks to all you who gave me good advice!!!!

Wish I saw this when you asked if you should loan him money. You are 20 and work in a grocery store. There is no way you should taking out a bank loan to give to your boyfriend or anyone. He is right, you should talk about your relationship and you should show him where the door is. How dare he turn it around on you after you went to a bank and put yourself in debt for him. If I were you I would take the money back to the bank. I remember when I was your age, a boyfriend asked me to get him a loan, thank g-d I had enough sense to say no. I had friends that cosigned for motorcycles and trucks and ended up paying them off long after the boyfriend left. You should never take a loan out for someone and if you have enough of your personal savings that you can spare to help out a friend, fine, but you should would be very careful with that too. It is a shame that most of us won't learn from others mistakes. Everyone on here advised you to have him sign a paper, but because he got an atitiude, you backed down. You are young, I am sure you can find a more suitable, less grumpy, boyfriend that appreciates you.

I agree, if he doesn't understand that if something happens, you will not be able to afford to pay it back yourself and respect that, then you do need to descuss your relationship.
Is giving you the whole $1000 in one week going to mean he can not afford bills and so you will have to cover them and therefore, you will end up paying anyway?

I just co-signed for my fiancé - the truck is in his name but the loan is in my name. He is in charge of all the payments. I didn't feel the need to make a written agreement with him...but if he stopped paying, it would be on me mostly.

I agree to get a notorized contract if you're concerned. I hope you don't run into any trouble.

Originally Posted by gailuvscats

Wish I saw this when you asked if you should loan him money. You are 20 and work in a grocery store. There is no way you should taking out a bank loan to give to your boyfriend or anyone. He is right, you should talk about your relationship and you should show him where the door is. How dare he turn it around on you after you went to a bank and put yourself in debt for him. If I were you I would take the money back to the bank. I remember when I was your age, a boyfriend asked me to get him a loan, thank g-d I had enough sense to say no. I had friends that cosigned for motorcycles and trucks and ended up paying them off long after the boyfriend left. You should never take a loan out for someone and if you have enough of your personal savings that you can spare to help out a friend, fine, but you should would be very careful with that too. It is a shame that most of us won't learn from others mistakes. Everyone on here advised you to have him sign a paper, but because he got an atitiude, you backed down. You are young, I am sure you can find a more suitable, less grumpy, boyfriend that appreciates you.

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Well put! I will be very suprised if you get your full $1000 back when the bonus check comes in. There will be something else out there that he wants to buy, or something will come up along the lines of "let's go buy a new tv" or something like that. Then when discussion of repayment comes up he will say "I bought the tv for both of us".

My policy when it comes to loaning money to friends or family makes things simple. If I can't afford to do it without taking out a loan, I won't (unless it were some life or death situation). If I were to make a loan it would be out of pocket, and I would do it with the assumption they aren't going to pay me back... so I need to make sure I can live without the money. If they pay me back, great... but if not that's ok to. I don't tell them that of course because I would never see a dime, but you know what I mean. Loans can really change a relationship between two people.

First of all I wanna say i know where all of you are coming from. I wont be surprised if he gives me the money on his bonus check. the reason why he couldnt get a loan is because of bad credit which he is paying off every month. my boyfriend isnt grumpy and he is a great guy. he pays all the bills and the reason i got the loan is because he just paid rent and the other bills and the other guy couldnt wait till next month to sell the car. and we dont buy a lot of stuff we just pay bills and chill at home. so i am not worried about him saying lets buy a new tv or a new livingroom set and have him say its for the both of us. i also didnt back down because he didnt sign a piece of paper saying he will pay me back if he wont sign it then he wont sign it. Im not worried about our bills not getting paid, its a 1,000 dollar loan and it will get paid all of you will see. my boyfriend isnt like that and pays every one back when he borrows money which isnt often. its just the guy needed money and if my bf didnt buy the car now he wouldnt be able to and the car is the car of his dreams.......

Sweetie, you make your own decision, but let me tell you what happened to me. My best friend in high school was a boy. Come the end of senior we were dating/seeing each other... and it was great. I was going to Cancun for senior week after we graduated. He wanted to go too, and I wanted him to go. But he didn't have the $ cause of needing to save for college. So we agreed to charge it on my credit card and he would make the payments. I put $3000 on my card for his trip. We went and had a blast. He was making the pymts on my card, the minimum was I think $56, almost every penny going to interest. Cut to 2 yrs later, he is 8 hrs away at school, I am home and lonely, frusterated with him cause what used to be "kind, gentle and sweet" was now indecisive, spineless, and a momma's boy. So we start breaking up, I said I needed to go out on the weekends and have some sort of a life instead of sitting home alone waiting for him to come home, and that could include seeing other people.... and that he was welcome to do the same. In the end, we broke up, he stopped paying, and I have been stuck with the balance. Choose wisely.... because you never know what could happen in the future, and even if he does sign something, it most likely will not hold up in court unless you have a notarty witness you both signing the agreement. Also, attorney & court fees will come close to $1000 so most of the time it's not worth going to court over. Good luck! I hope it works for the best for you...

Originally Posted by kittyprincess

my boyfriend isnt like that and pays every one back when he borrows money which isnt often. its just the guy needed money and if my bf didnt buy the car now he wouldnt be able to and the car is the car of his dreams.......

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you get "bad credit" by not paying people back....

Originally Posted by kittyprincess

i also didnt back down because he didnt sign a piece of paper saying he will pay me back if he wont sign it then he wont sign it. Im not worried about our bills not getting paid, its a 1,000 dollar loan and it will get paid all of you will see. my boyfriend isnt like that and pays every one back when he borrows money which isnt often. its just the guy needed money and if my bf didnt buy the car now he wouldnt be able to and the car is the car of his dreams.......

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No one is upset with you for not making him sign, that is something you have to deal with. Ovbiously there was some degree of doubt in your mind of him paying it back or you wouldn't have brought the subject up. The fear of him getting upset with you, or hinting at the fact that your relationship is in trouble made you change your mind.... I just hope it all works out for you and you don't come to regret your decision

Originally Posted by LuckyGirl

you get "bad credit" by not paying people back....

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that was a long time ago when he was in a bad spot in his life, but he is paying for it now

But see, everyone's jumping on the fact that he gets mad because she was thinking of having him sign something...but maybe it's just because he's insulted because he doesn't know WHY she'd think he wouldn't. This thread is sort of making him sound like the evil money-hungry boyfriend...but it doesn't seem to be that big of an issue.

ETA: I understand that some people have had bad experiences...but that doesn't mean that's the case here.

Originally Posted by squirtle

No one is upset with you for not making him sign, that is something you have to deal with. Ovbiously there was some degree of doubt in your mind of him paying it back or you wouldn't have brought the subject up. The fear of him getting upset with you, or hinting at the fact that your relationship is in trouble made you change your mind.... I just hope it all works out for you and you don't come to regret your decision

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your right, i thought about it because i was watching judge mathis and this girl took out a $5,000 loan and he didnt pay her back and then i thought well should we sign something just incase.......
to be honest i think it will all come out right, i have a good feeling about it

Originally Posted by Crystal211

But see, everyone's jumping on the fact that he gets mad because she was thinking of having him sign something...but maybe it's just because he's insulted because he doesn't know WHY she'd think he wouldn't. This thread is sort of making him sound like the evil money-hungry boyfriend...but it doesn't seem to be that big of an issue.

ETA: I understand that some people have had bad experiences...but that doesn't mean that's the case here.

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exactly! i forgot to add earlier the reason why he said maybe we should talk about the relationship is because he said that i trust him with everything else, and we have a great relationship, to be honest i agrree with you i think he WAS insulted.... he also said look at all the things i do for you why wouldnt i pay you back...

Yes, exactly. I know Erik would sign something if I asked him, but he would be insulted...and I would a bit, too. If we love and trust each other...why wouldn't we?

I understand how some people have gotten burned in the past, though, so they'd be on guard about this situation.

the reason why i asked him mostly is because most of the people on here said it would be a good idea. so i did not thinking that deep down i know he will pay me back i shouldnt even have thought about it but the judge mathis show got to me lol after i asked him and he looked at me and started to talk to me it was like hes mad at the fact that he thought i couldnt trust him, which isnt the case. i dont know... its not like me and him are fighting or anything

Live and learn.