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Why are they like this

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
I have 2 grandkids that will be 18 one this month and one next month and everytime you tell them you can't do this or that or you shouldn't do this or that. THEY SAY WHY I'M going to be 18 ( So What) the only thing in my eyes that will change is they can buy cigrettes ( they don't smoke) Or they can Vote ( OMG please don't ) I don't think they ever watch the news were in enough trouble in this country, where do they think there going that day they turn 18, they have no money saved one doesn't even work and hasnt finished high school the other is going to collage and working but his money flies away really fast. What is wrong here they don't understand that you'll be living under Mom and Dads roof are you sooooooo basically things aren't CHANGING here... Had to blow that off or go to jail
post #2 of 11
I did the same thing when I turned yet 18, 7 years ago. I think it's something that all 18 yr olds do. But it's funny soon enough they will figure out that mommy and daddy hold the cards to their future still. Also mommy and daddy still pay their bills and medical bills. Even when the hit their mid 20's and still in college, they will figure out it's mommy and daddy's house and it's their rules NOT theirs.

Believe me I am 25, still live at home, can't find a job, so going back to college. Respect my father, and do what he askes to be done around the house. The way I look at it, my father supports me, by putting a roof over my head, sometimes food on the table. He's also there for moral support, and someone to talk to for advice when I need it. So, since those 7 years ago I have come to respect my father, honor my father, and listen to the advice my father gives.

Believe when they hit a tight patch at 18, watch who they will turn to, it will be their parents.

Nope, I have the same problem with 18 yr olds. Oh god, when my brother turned 18. All I could think was, man wait till you don't listen to your parents and fall in your tuss. Even 18 yr olds that I go to college to, just make me grind my teeth with how naive they are, and how they think they know EVERYTHING. LOL, for me when I hit into my 20's, it was like WOW my parents did know what they were talking about.

That will probably happen to your grandchildren. Nope you have ALL RIGHTS to rant, stomp your feet, and even scream. Because sorry to say 18 think they know everything but really they know nothing.
post #3 of 11
cause older people never see kids as growing up.
So i think kids feel the need to keep reminding them that they are not 3 anymore.

lol i see my grandmother(93) order and boss my father(70) around whenver she is around.
post #4 of 11
Yeah I'm turning 20 and i had to move back home, the luxuries of doing what ever you want isnt there anymore... have to follow daddy's rules
Although turning 18 for me wasnt a big thing, i could already buy cigarettes for my parents at 15, 16 and alcohol, and had a look in strip clubs at 17.. there wasnt much left to do at 18!
post #5 of 11
I dunno my sister has been doing that for ages, and well she will be now turning 19 on friday (reminds me i gotta make her something LOL)

but she still lives with my mom, doesnt drive, doesnt have a job. So HMM makes ya think dun it?

me however. I was out on my own by 16. Always had alot of free reign (lived with my dad) but have always uttmostly respected my parents and when i spend a night i respect their house rules.
post #6 of 11
My son is turning 18 in a month. He does not have any of the typical "I am going to be 18 do what I want" syndrome. In fact I think he would be happy just working his part time job and living in the house for the rest of his life. He seems to have no desire to move. He has no car, has never learned to drive and I don't see him doing either anytime soon. He really does not have many restrictions and he does not argue about any chores I tell him to do. That may change once he is "18" but I really don't think so. He knows right now he has it good.

It is frustrating in some ways because he seems to have no goals. When I graduated high school I already had my own car and was driving for two years and had several job experiances under my belt. I moved out before I was 19.

Now my daughter on the other hand can't wait to get a job, get a car, finish school and move out and she will only be 16 in October. She is learning to drive now so she has already passed up my son in at least one area.

It still amazes me how a brother and sister can be so opposite but my brother and I were the same way. It was like they were cut from two different pieces of cloth
post #7 of 11
My sister was the one to move out as soon as she graduated HS. I lived at home until I was 20. I saw how hard it was for my sister becuase she didn't want to follow my parents rules. I on the other hand didn't think it twas so bad at home and worked and got my life straight befroe i moved. But I was lucky. I have a guy who has the same goals as me aand we have been together almost 4 years now. We are planning on marrying and have built a home togehter and it makes it much easier!

Your grandkids will figure things out soon enough.
post #8 of 11
I guess my mom was lucky. I knew from an early age that as long as I'm under her roof it's by her rules... but she did give me a lot of freedom. Well, I'm 20 years old, I have my own apartment, a job, and I'm a full time college student... I pay ALL my own bills, and all my student loans are in my name only. Now I can truly say my mom can't "tell me what to do". But I don't think she ever did- she just gave me good advice. The fact that I followed it means I'm now an independent adult. The only thing I don't like is that I'm treated the same as the 22 year old partiers who use up all mommy and daddy's money, hardly squeak through school with Cs, haven't worked a day in their life, and still go home for summers.
post #9 of 11
I am 26 years old married with two kids and my mom still tells me what to do and I usually listen! My sister never listens to her despite the fact that she had to move back in with mom after she had her baby and mom still supports her to some extent (paid down payment and closing costs on her new house, for example.)

As far as acting out at 18, I never did it. My mother will tell anyone who will listen that I was an angel growing up--no kidding. I never talked back, did my chores, kept a part-time job, had excellent grades, got a full 4-year scholarship to college, managed to keep it and graduate. (Of course, anything would look good in comparison to my snot-nosed brat of a sister )

I think kids today are growing up too quickly, but aren't as responsible as kids were just 10 years ago. I was a latch-key kid from 11 years old, babysat at 12. I know what 12 year olds act like now and would NEVER leave my children in their care.
post #10 of 11
I think 18 is when you start learning about the grown-up world and it is nice to get the advice of parents but I think that at that point rules need to be revised. We want to teach kids to be grown-ups, think and do for themselves and then when they do parents come down on them for doing so.

I had big issue with turning 18, my mom told me "now you are a grown up" but still treated me like a child. Until I moved out at age 21 I still had to adhere to a 10pm curfew, my salary was handed over to her because apparantly I couldn't be trusted to be sensible with it so I never got the opportunity to save and plan my own life. I realised that in her eyes I would never really be considered an adult as long as I was under her roof...I packed my bags and moved in with a friend, three months later I was in my own place making my own way. I think she was just trying to spare me her mistakes and sorrows but at some point you have to learn these things for yourself. And if you can start at 18 with the blessing and understanding of your parents why not...

Phew...that was a mouthfull...I know a lot of people aren't going to agree with my but eh to each his own
post #11 of 11
I never really did that when i turned 18...i'm 21 now, and live at home most of the time- but i stay at Colin's house a lot as well- it's only 1 minute from work and 5 from the animal shelter (my house is almost an hour away).I go and please as i like, but i always make sure my animals are taken care of, and that my mom has however much money she needs for bills and such- my mom's wonderful....she raised all of my sisters and i as a single parent- i hope i wind up being as good a mother as she is someday. My mom and i fought a little bit when i was a younger teenager- but the older i got, i realized my fighting style and hers was different, and i started acting more maturely- i personally don't scream when i fight...i sit down and discuss things calmly- i think it has kept my relationship with my mom and Colin in good terms because of it. It doesn't matter if people fight- what matters is "how" they fight and how they resolve their disagreements- maybe your grandchildren just need a bit of time to figure that out. They will learn that they will accomplish a lot more and that things will turn out better for them when they start to show respect and act like responsbile adults- including their attitudes. One day they'll realize that even though they're 18 and "legally" adults now...they are still teenagers and aren't done growing up...don't remind them of it- they'll resent you for it, but let them figure it out for themselves. Sometimes the only way people will learn are from their own mistakes.I was fairly responsible at 18....i worked full time went to college full time and volunteered...and yes, i voted! I was excited about voting- i vote in every single election that i'm able to...it's a privledge, not a right and i respect that. Your grandchildren will come around- sometimes you just have to step back a bit and know that you and your children raised them right...they're young, they'll make mistakes, but who doesn't....once they start to realize how "the real world" is...they'll stop using the "i'm 18" thing as an excuse to do anything they won't. Give them some time- they will realize how much you and your family have done for them eventually...and they will appreciate it...just give it time, it might not be tomorrow- but it will happen eventually. You sound like you're a wonderful grandmother -and those kids are lucky to have you in their lives!- so rest in the fact that you've done your best to have a positive influence on their lives- many kids aren't that lucky...once their ego deflates a bit, they will thankyou someday. Never loose faith in them- they will come around eventually.
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