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Those of You with Children...

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Okay I work with a guy who has a 4 year old. We had a discussion about riding the bus and how parents do not let their kids do it anymore.

He REFUSES to let his daughter ride the bus when she goes to kindergarten because something bad could happen. So he is going to drive her to and from school every day.

Now I do not have children but I absolutely think that is ridiculous! Kids have been riding the bus for years and they even used to walk to school!
Little kids like the bus and I think it is like a right of passage. I remember the day I first rode the bus in kindergarten and how much I liked to sit with my friends and talk.

He thinks she is going to get kidnapped or the bus driver is going to be a psycho who drinks.

I rode the bus till I graduated high school and can not understand what the problem is!!

Since I do not have kids I was just wondering if anyone felt the same way as him or if they find it as ridiculous as I do.

I think children are sheltered WAY to much these days. The dangers have always been out there it is just that now with all the media we here about it more.
post #2 of 21
My kids are grown (28 & 31) but they always rode the bus or walked, as did my brothers and I.
post #3 of 21
I can relate to both sides. I have 3 girls ages 11, 9 and 5. They ride the bus. I did worry at first. I also drove them to school the first week so they got use to the line for class and all and I did meet them at school the first day they got off the bus at school to show them they could do it by themselves. My oldest daughter now goes to a different school and does it on her own. However I do watch her at the bus stop because no child should be outside at 6:30 am by themselves. Maybe the father is just scared to let go. My youngest starts school this year and I am like that now! I even cried because she has a 2 weeks before school. lol
post #4 of 21
While I agree with what you're saying (particularly the part about riding the school bus), I do think we are living in more dangerous times now than when many of us were kids...but I do think there are parents that go overboard in trying to protect their kids. I think that rather than depriving our children of life experience, we could be teaching them what to do specifically in certain instances...such as if a stranger tries to convince him/her to get in his/her car, if someone tries (or succeeds) to touch him/her inappropriately, what inappropriate touching is, what to do in a fire, etc. Kids are so much more resilient than we ever give them credit for...and they need to learn to deal with, rather than to fear the facts of life.
post #5 of 21
My school didn't have a bus that came to my neighborhood because I only lived about a 1/4 mile from school. But, I rode the bus at least once a month to go to sports games or choir competitions. And lived to tell the tale. My husband rode the bus up until he got his own car at 17 or so, and nothing bad ever happened to him.
While I understand that the world is a bit scarier, even more so that it was 15-20 years ago when I was of "bus riding" age, I think that your coworker is maybe being a BIT overprotective.

I can't WAIT to see what this guy does when his daughter is old enough to start dating!
post #6 of 21
Helicopter parents- always hovering.

Mine road the bus at a very early age, but we always stayed with her until she got on, and were there waiting when she got off.

He's probably just going through a tough time of accepting that she isn't a baby any longer- it happens to every parent and it is painful. Hopefully he will relax in time and allow the child to learn how to operate independently of him.
post #7 of 21
He sounds overprotective to me. But it may depend on how the school runs their buses. In my school district, kindergarteners ride separate buses than the older kids. And they are not let off the bus at the end of the day unless someone is there to meet them. If something happens, and no one is home, the child stays on the bus with the driver, and they call the bus depot who tracks down the parent.

If the kindergarteners ride with older kids, or there is a possibility of them being dropped off alone somewhere, I can see waiting until they are a little older.

When my dd was in kindergarten, she rode the bus with another boy from the babysitters. He was in 4 y/o kindergarten because of some delays...he was in special classes to catch up. About halfway through the year, she said, "Mommy, I think I am on the wrong bus." I asked her what she meant. She said, "I'm on the slow learners bus, and I should be on the fast learners bus!" It took a little convincing to help her understand she was riding the same bus as her little buddy, and it was all good.

As a parent, it is hard to let go of your little ones. Maybe he will change after she gets started in school.
post #8 of 21
I have no kids of my own, but I did raise one

I have observed that parents tend to be a bit overprotective of their first child, and much less so with later children.
I am guessing this is his only child.

I doubt he'll change, being as this is his little girl.
A lot of guys tend to naturally be a bit more protective of female family members, well beyond the point of reason.
My 4 brothers still try to protect me.
post #9 of 21
I have a 4yr old myself... little boy. I hate to say no, I don't want him riding the bus at this young of an age. Not just because of the dangers out there in the world but because he's not responsible at 4. I can remember kids missing thier bus stop and not remembering where they were supposed to get off the bus. I also know he would probably miss the bus. My oldest son who's now 8 did ride the bus when he was 6 until he was 7. He was more responsible. He would wait where he was supposed to (the end of the driveway), wait for the bus to stop... follow the rules... I think 4 is really too young to be on a bus. Of course I don't have to worry about it now because my oldest is a 2nd grader now and goes to before and after school care because I work.. and there is no bus to it.. I drive him and his little brother to school/daycare every morning...I can understand his point of view with her being so young.
post #10 of 21
When I worked in an after school program at the YWCA, we had 4 year olds that all went on the same bus back to their schools, where a parent was supposed to pick them up. Until we got to know where everybody went, it was a nightmare to get them to pay attention for a few seconds to get off the bus at the right stop. The first week we had to go back through the route several times to make sure everyone was dropped off at the right place. IMHO, 4 is a little young to be trusted to ride the bus. They will stay on the bus until there are no more stops if they are playing or not paying attention, and even if you get an adult on the bus that is very responsible, it is not always possible to see that everyone is in the right place. I have had kids hide, fall asleep, even had an extra kid that got on the wrong bus. We never had less than 25 kids, with just myself and the driver. Some buses only have the driver, many of which could care less.
post #11 of 21
I rode the bus with my brother (four years older than me). My mom watched us from the front porch. I would let a four year old ride the bus, like others have said, and keep close by. A young child really has no business standing by himself at a bus stop anymore than he would being alone at the mall. A comfortable distance for me, or an older sibling would be fine.
post #12 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arlyn
I have no kids of my own, but I did raise one

I have observed that parents tend to be a bit overprotective of their first child, and much less so with later children.
I am guessing this is his only child.

I doubt he'll change, being as this is his little girl.
A lot of guys tend to naturally be a bit more protective of female family members, well beyond the point of reason.
My 4 brothers still try to protect me.
Actually he has 3 children...A 13 yr old step-daughter whom he has only raised since the age of 7, his 4 yr old daughter and a 7 month old son.

I do not believe once she is in school he will be any different. He has very strong views on parenting.
post #13 of 21
Kids are just spolied now a days.

I used to walk going to school it's good for you.
post #14 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256
I have a 4yr old myself... little boy. I hate to say no, I don't want him riding the bus at this young of an age. Not just because of the dangers out there in the world but because he's not responsible at 4. I can remember kids missing thier bus stop and not remembering where they were supposed to get off the bus. I also know he would probably miss the bus. My oldest son who's now 8 did ride the bus when he was 6 until he was 7. He was more responsible. He would wait where he was supposed to (the end of the driveway), wait for the bus to stop... follow the rules... I think 4 is really too young to be on a bus. Of course I don't have to worry about it now because my oldest is a 2nd grader now and goes to before and after school care because I work.. and there is no bus to it.. I drive him and his little brother to school/daycare every morning...I can understand his point of view with her being so young.
Well she would be 5 and in kindergarten when riding the bus. My mom used to wait with us in the morning and meet us at the bus stop after school. The bus drivers are trained to know which kids get off at which stop and are supposed to make sure they do at such a young age. My mom drives a school bus and does it everyday.

I realize I have no children so I can not fully understand but I do have a little brother and nieces, nephews etc and I just think that we need to let them experience things, especially such routine everyday parts of growing up.
post #15 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scuffy&Samantha
Kids are just spolied now a days.

I used to walk going to school it's good for you.
Well I can completely understand not letting a 5 year walk to school, even if it is around the corner. But riding a bus is different. It teaches the child responsibility and kids are forced to grow up so fast these days that they need that.
post #16 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by wookie130
While I agree with what you're saying (particularly the part about riding the school bus), I do think we are living in more dangerous times now than when many of us were kids...but I do think there are parents that go overboard in trying to protect their kids. I think that rather than depriving our children of life experience, we could be teaching them what to do specifically in certain instances...such as if a stranger tries to convince him/her to get in his/her car, if someone tries (or succeeds) to touch him/her inappropriately, what inappropriate touching is, what to do in a fire, etc. Kids are so much more resilient than we ever give them credit for...and they need to learn to deal with, rather than to fear the facts of life.
Very well said!! I completely agree
post #17 of 21
You are right.

I walked to school not just because it's around the corner, it was three miles away from home.
post #18 of 21
My daughter is 2 1/2..And I dont really think I'd like her riding the bus. Haven't really figured out why yet...But yeah..I'm pretty sure I'll be driving her to school untill she's like 13 and knows Karate or something.
I'd rather have her be prepared for anything than to expect nothing isnt ever going to happen. You just never know these days.
post #19 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by OllyExtra05 View Post
I can't WAIT to see what this guy does when his daughter is old enough to start dating!
hmm he will be like my friend pete who has a 17 year old daughter.

pete: hey dont you alot of guns

thiemp98: errr, i have some why

pete: well my little girl is getting ready for her first date,and i thought maybe you could bring a couple of them over, and we could like clean them or something when that boy gets here.

theimp98: Err, no.

Really from what i have seen from my friends with kids, Father are much worse when it comes to the girls. you know, that whole there are boy out there that are just like us when we were that age..
post #20 of 21
I don't quite agree with a guy being criticised for taking an interest in parenting and being a caring father when there are a fair few dead beat dads..well parents..out there that don't care how their kid gets to school or if it even goes to school.

Being over protective is not ideal, but he's only doing it because he absolutely loves and cares for his child...and the child is very young.

With so many dangers to kids out there today, I think good parents fall into 2 camps....those who shelter and those who encourage their kids to face the big wide world. Both methods have their pros and cons. I don't think its fair to say one method is better than the other when the parent's reasoning behind their decision is pure love and care for their child...especially in the world we live in today.
post #21 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by minxie View Post
I don't quite agree with a guy being criticised for taking an interest in parenting and being a caring father when there are a fair few dead beat dads..well parents..out there that don't care how their kid gets to school or if it even goes to school.

Being over protective is not ideal, but he's only doing it because he absolutely loves and cares for his child...and the child is very young.

With so many dangers to kids out there today, I think good parents fall into 2 camps....those who shelter and those who encourage their kids to face the big wide world. Both methods have their pros and cons. I don't think its fair to say one method is better than the other when the parent's reasoning behind their decision is pure love and care for their child...especially in the world we live in today.
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