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Phone Company/Man rant!

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
We are not wealthy people, and while we don't live paycheck to paycheck, some months we have to let something slide in order to make the mortgage payment.

Usually, this ends up being our two smallest bills thankfully.
The phonebill (roughly $45/mo) and our Homeowner's Assn fee (roughly $70/mo).

The phone company has always been great about it, extending a grace period to keep us from paying late fees.
They've always stamped the evelopes of the second notice Urgent, which is great as I know I've got to nag Jeremy to pay it.

Well they recently switched their billing format, so nothing came in stamped Urgent, which meant (to me) that he'd paid it for the month.

Wrong!
No phone now, and a three month bill, because he can't be bothered to open the things when they come in.

Yes, I am making him go over to his mother's today, on his day off, and call them and pay the bill by phone.

Ok, more of a man rant than a phone company rant, but I feel better now.
post #2 of 16
Take over the bills yourself

My husband has nothing to do with bills other than having his paycheck direct deposited-I do everything. If it was up to him to budget and remember things we'd have been living in a refigerator box years ago.
post #3 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cearbhaill
Take over the bills yourself

My husband has nothing to do with bills other than having his paycheck direct deposited-I do everything. If it was up to him to budget and remember things we'd have been living in a refigerator box years ago.


He gets a portion of his pay in his personal account and the rest goes into the joint account to pay bills, the same as mine, but I pay all the bills from the joint account and he will usually call to check its ok before making a bigger purchase from his personal account
post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
He deposits his checks, his checking account, I'm powerless.
I am, however, going to start opening his bills.

Not smart to open joint checking when we're not married, otherwise, I'd have been doing it all along.

I personally suck with money, but I was always good about taking care of my bills as soon as they came in.
He's been on his own and a homeowner since he was 22, how he's managed all that with his bill paying prowess I'll never understand.
post #5 of 16
OH we don't have a joint checking for anything other than bills. We both have personal chequing and savings accounts. Our bills are generally about the same each month, so we know how much to put in there in advance of the bills coming in.
So each pay cheque we put x dollars in to the joint account and the rest in our personal account, that way we never over-spend and have to miss a bill and each have our own independant accounts.
post #6 of 16
This happened to me a few months ago...my hubby is disabled, and unbeknownst to me (I feel like kicking my self in the butt for this...but I have punished myself again and again for it), we were 2 mortgage payments behind, our utility bill was unpaid (at least for 2 months), our phone bill unpaid, etc. I work...I'm a teacher, and he's home all day, and he's been reliable for paying the bills...and keeping the house clean, etc. His behavior had changed over the course of about 6 months...he became very secretive, and almost verbally aggressive when I confronted him about money, the budget, etc. He hid mail, wouldn't let me see payment receipts, etc. Before not too long, tons of money was being SUCKED systematically from our joint checking account...I'd get paid, and 10 days later, we'd be flat out broke...I was hysterical, wringing my hands, DEMANDING to know what was happening, as I knew he was keeping something from me. Well, that something was a secret drug addiction...he has stopped paying bills, and we barely had enough to eat. Sometimes we didn't eat. He stole my credit cards, took out cash advances on them to feed his habit, and racked up debt like you would not believe. It was literally a living hell. He would take my car, and be gone for hours...with no explanation to what he had been doing, or where he went. His entire personality was different, he was getting sick a lot, thereby racking up more medical expenses. This was not the man I married.

Our utilities were shut off for two weeks (this is when I finally learned that he had NOT been paying bills), we had no food or household necessities, the phone and cable were shut off, and finally my sister-in-law came to my rescue. I lived with her for about 3 weeks while I begged for food at food banks, went to churches for donations to help get my utilities turned back on, and I closed our joint checking account, and re-opened my own in my name alone. I also secretly had his social security directly deposited into my checking...this left him with no money in his hands whatsoever.

As for the drugs, he is now in treatment, and making good gains. He was an alcoholic/addict for several years before we were together, and has slowly been relapsing ever since we've been married...entirely without my knowledge. Now, many of you reading this may think he is a wicked or evil man for putting his family through this. But the truth is, is that he is sick with a baffling disease...his illness controls HIM, not the other way around. I love him dearly, and when he's sober and in recovery, he's a wonderful man...and I know he never asked to be an addict. As a teacher, earning a meaningful wage, and having some pride, I will not lie and say that this hasn't been a difficult journey. I have lost a lot of that pride and self-respect in just trying to survive each day. But, slowly, things are getting back on track (and I have to do some MAJOR penny-pinching in order for that to happen), and I do know in my heart that he and I will persevere.

I also know full well that I cannot trust him to have more than about $5.00 at any given time...this is enough to prompt him to use. So now, I handle the budget, my mail is being sent elsewhere, I pay the bills. Sometimes you do what you have to do.
post #7 of 16
We don't have too many bills thank goodness!! But I just went through some finance problems with my parents and am in process of getting POA so this doesn't happen again!! I had some tense moments this week and don't want that to happen again.
post #8 of 16
Thread Starter 
I make squat for money, so what I do make pays for groceries, pet supplies and the like.
My current savings/checking is courtesy of my stepdad, who wants me to ebay a bunch of stuff for him.
He doesn't really want much back as for as proceeds from sales.

As soon as my sales get moving I'll be completely trading financial responsibility with J, he can buy the stuff, I'll handle the bills.

I think possible my chronic reflux may have less frequent occurance at that point

I just never understood procrastination like this, I figure get the unpleasant stuff out of the way first, gives you much more time to truly enjoy things without worry.
post #9 of 16
Before we got married, my husband was bad about remembering bills. Though I handle paying most of the bills now, there are a few that my husband is responsible for. Now realizing that I have more latitude because we are married, I open all of the bills, write down the due date on the front and a pay by date (usually 10 days before). I then keep them in a special place sorted by pay-by date. When a date comes up on one of his bills, I start to remind him to pay bills.
post #10 of 16
Don't you guys have a checking account and you can just use bill pay? That way you don't have to worry when to pay the bill it will just do it automatically.
post #11 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by katachtig
Before we got married, my husband was bad about remembering bills. Though I handle paying most of the bills now, there are a few that my husband is responsible for. Now realizing that I have more latitude because we are married, I open all of the bills, write down the due date on the front and a pay by date (usually 10 days before). I then keep them in a special place sorted by pay-by date. When a date comes up on one of his bills, I start to remind him to pay bills.
That is an excellent idea! I think I will start to implement that here!
post #12 of 16
I suck at paying bills, i admit it.
that and the wife thinks all the bills and money stuff is hers anyway.
Sooo since she wants to take care of it..
post #13 of 16
John isn't good about remembering bills either - but he gives me a portion of his check for bills (we split everything 1/2 & 1/2), so then I just write out the checks for the bills from my checking account, since he doesn't have an account.

I feel much better knowing that I handle the bills, otherwise, I'd go nuts!
post #14 of 16
When hubby and I got together, I started doing the bills and BOY was I BAD! I was used to taking care of myself, not two people so I fell kind of behind some months, but always managed to get caught up. I got tired of hearing about how bad of a job I was doing so I finally handed him the bills and said" if you think you can do better, here you go." well, needless to say, he was even WORSE then I was, and managed to get us MONTHS behind in bills, so I took them back (after almost having a panic attack when I realized how far behind we really were). Now we are never late, we always have money, I am always checking our accounts I am the bill queen!
post #15 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by wookie130 View Post
As for the drugs, he is now in treatment, and making good gains. He was an alcoholic/addict for several years before we were together, and has slowly been relapsing ever since we've been married...entirely without my knowledge. Now, many of you reading this may think he is a wicked or evil man for putting his family through this. But the truth is, is that he is sick with a baffling disease...his illness controls HIM, not the other way around. I love him dearly, and when he's sober and in recovery, he's a wonderful man...and I know he never asked to be an addict. As a teacher, earning a meaningful wage, and having some pride, I will not lie and say that this hasn't been a difficult journey. I have lost a lot of that pride and self-respect in just trying to survive each day. But, slowly, things are getting back on track (and I have to do some MAJOR penny-pinching in order for that to happen), and I do know in my heart that he and I will persevere.
Good luck on this difficult journey.

I'm sorry that you and your family have had to go through this - and I admire the depth of your love and resolve.
post #16 of 16
Thread Starter 
How did I miss that?

Indded I wish you both all the best, I do indeed know what you've both gone through.

Here's to continued success.
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