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My ex txt me today..

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
This really made me feel funny and I am not sure why..

At midnight last night I recieved a txt message saying "Happy Birthday! I really hope you have a great day. xxxxx" (Actually, it was a bit more enthusiastic than that but I have deleted the txt ).

I txt back saying "How ironic, the one person who cares enough to txt me at midnight on the dot and I have no idea who you are.."

To cut a long story short, it was my ex who I split up with last December. We parted on really bad terms with him hating me and vowing never to speak to me again etc.. (there are a few threads on here about our break up and some background if anyone cares to read them. It's all nasty stuff)

Maybe I am being dramatic but I HATE the thought of him sitting up waiting until midnight to txt me. He is such an attention seeker anyway and I just feel like he was usig my 'special day' as a way to get attention!

I txt back saying thank you and i am surprised that he remembered and he sent back a self pitying txt along the lines of "I guess this date will be in my mind forever". gaaahhhh!! Then asked me how 'our' cats were (Strange considering when the vet thought Jupiter - HIS cat I might add, would need life saving surgery he didnt care and didnt offer me a penny towards vet bills).

The worst thing is, his birthday is coming up later this month and I have no idea when! Wiped it from my mind!

So I know he will either be saying to everyone how bad I am for not even bothering to txt him on his big day or he will txt me again calling me names.

I just wish that there was a hole in the gorund that ex bf's would fall down
post #2 of 20
I know send him a text saying HB you owe me ( whatever that vet bill was)
post #3 of 20
That's really odd, Maverick_Kitten.

Sounds like he's sending some "getting back together" vibes your way...funny how he didn't know a good thing until it was gone.

Happy B-day, BTW!
post #4 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfpint
I know sent him a text saying HB you owe me ( whatever that vet bill was)
lol! I didn't save his number though! I really don't want anything to do with him any more.

Wookie - of course he does, I make a wonderful gf . Seriously though, that ship has sailed for both of us. I just think he was using it as an excuse to get some attention. Or so I would think "what a nice guy he is.." and remember all the 'great' presents he got me.

It's funny because I hadn thought of him in ages until a friend said to me
a few days ago "At what point do you think R would have thrown a tantrum over your party? During the planning stage or would he have waited until the actual day".
post #5 of 20
Happy birthday.
Doesn't seem so much like getting back together vibes to me as it does, I want to make things right and at least be your friend vibes.

All of the ex men in my life, with the exception of the one I married, have all done this at some point.
It's a very weird thing.

I understand it though, some people feel a need to make things from their past 'right' before they can fully move on with their lives.
post #6 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arlyn
I understand it though, some people feel a need to make things from their past 'right' before they can fully move on with their lives.

Sometimes it's because they feel bad about how they acted, but sometimes they're just trying to prove (to themselves, you, or others) that they are "the bigger person." If I were in your place, I'd ignore it.

Last year I got an email from a guy I had dated three years earlier for about 3 months--the email was begging my forgiveness for the "worst thing he had ever done to anybody," i.e., breaking up with me by email. I was like, uh, okay dude, whatever, you're forgiven, get on with your life. I found it sort of pathetic, really.

Some people just can't let things go.
post #7 of 20
Thread Starter 
If he was truly sorry he would give me my stuff back, pay half the vets bills and tell people the real reasons why we split up instead of making stuff up!

I wish I had saved the txts so I could show my friends when we go away tomorrow but I deleted them as I felt like they were polluting my phone!

If he really wanted to make ammends why didn't he just txt me at a normal time like a normal person rather than at midnight?! He's such a dramaqueen!
post #8 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by maverick_kitten
If he really wanted to make ammends why didn't he just txt me at a normal time like a normal person rather than at midnight?! He's such a dramaqueen!
Maybe it was a drunk'n'text.
post #9 of 20
Because he doesn't really want to make amends, or, in his mind, he was never wrong and he simply wanted to be on speaking terms (for whatever reason).

I'm friendly with most all of my ex's, though not a one of them thinks they ever did any wrong in our relationship.
post #10 of 20
Smack him with a frying pan
I wonder if Ben is gonna msg me for my bday
post #11 of 20
To be honest he sounds a little creepy, and kinda like he's trying to butter you up for some reason. Style-wise, the text reminded me of a friend's ex, and he turned out to be a weirdo who was out for whatever he could get. Maybe your ex is between girls and trying his luck?
post #12 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacat
Maybe it was a drunk'n'text.
Yeah, thats what I was wondering.
post #13 of 20
you did say "it was my ex who I split up with " - for what it's worth and based on experience he is trying to get in the last word. It's a control / power thing.
post #14 of 20
No contact on your part will send the clearest message. Doing anything else will invite him to pursue you further...
post #15 of 20
If I were you, I would send him back a "thank you for the birthday wish" simple message like that, just being polite, and that would be the end of it. No answering calls or responding to more messages.

I also am friends with all but one of my exes, and that's because he can't really get over me. I've seen him since and been vaguely friendly, but all the other ones I still talk to as I've never had a bad breakup.

Some guys can't be friends. If there can't be a "So who are you dating... wow, they sound really cool! I'm happy for you" sincere friend conversation, you shouldn't be talking to exes unless you want to be back together.

Oh and

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!
post #16 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by wookie130
That's really odd, Maverick_Kitten.

Sounds like he's sending some "getting back together" vibes your way...funny how he didn't know a good thing until it was gone.

Happy B-day, BTW!

Ditto that. My ex tried to get back with me twice. Once a year later, and then tried two years later. He kept calling me. I wouldn't talk to him I hated him so much. I finally got my mom to answer it and she said I didn't want anything to do with him and I was in a commited relationship. That showed him. He hasn't called since. That jerk thought all he had to do was call and I would go running back to him. Plleeeaaassseee.
post #17 of 20
or maybe in this case, it was just a
happy birthday,,

hehe getting back together things, would mean ,maybe sending some flowers, or something with a i miss u note?
post #18 of 20
My ex used my birthday for years to contact me...heck, in a few months he may do it again. Every six months or so he finds a reason to contact me...ugh.
post #19 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by maverick_kitten
I just wish that there was a hole in the gorund that ex bf's would fall down

That is the BEST thing I have ever heard
post #20 of 20
my ex stalked me for a month after I broke up with him... but he was scary, and abusive, and a control freak, and violent, which is why I stayed with him for 3 years instead of 1 and a half which is when I wanted to break up with him. He doesn't talk to me anymore, thank goodness, since he's still friends with some of my friends (which I don't get at all... they all tell me they "put up with him" because he's an integral part of the gaming group...). He did, for a few weeks after the breakup, call, text message me, show up outside my place, show up places he knew I'd be, etc.

It only gets worse. Sounds to me like he was, in fact, being all dramatic and woe-is-me. I'd say, tell him once and for all you don't want anything to do with him, if he contacts you again.
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