I'm frustrated

DH and I work for the same company, but opposite schedules. Lately we've been talking about one of us switching so we can see more of each other. Well, he found a posting a few weeks ago that would allow him to work during the day and NOT take a pay cut. This is important, because we have some credit card debit that we have to payoff before we can buy a house. Last night his manager told him that it wasn't likely that he'd get the job because he doesn't have enough experience with the company. Mind you, he's had almost 4 years of experience with what he'd be doing, but the experience is with a competitor. All I want is to see more of my husband and I don't think that's going to happen very soon.

I just needed to get that out.

I wonder is there any way he can come up with a plan of action to gain more knowledge or experience? (put in some extra hours now for the position, etc.) This way he can go to the bosses with his game plan, he looks prepared and aware of this new upcoming challenge, and ready to deal with it.

They probably already have someone in mind for the job. A lot of times that is how it works. I know that is how it happens around here with some jobs.

That's so awful!

DH should try to re-negotiate; management studies show that people are much more likely to get what they ask for it they show that they have a reason to believe they are entitled. Obviously, you know your individual company best, but it's worth thinking about.

He can sit down and demonstrate that he has the required experience, and has been a good employee, and if he doesn't get what he needs, he will (sadly) have to think about working elsewhere, cause it's affecting his work-life balance.

Edited: cause Lookingglass is married, not shacked up

I agree with Phenomsmom - they may just be saying that because they don't want to get his hopes up because he is being passed up because a.) they have someone in mind for the job or b.) they don't want to rehire his position so are not recommending him for it

I also think that part of it is that his manager doesn't want to fight for him. Not that it matters much, because said manager is moving on in the next few weeks and he is getting back another manager that is much better that helped him get into his current position. I'm also not being very patient about the whole process, I should hold out some more hope that it will happen sooner than I think.

Success is Getting What You Want; Happiness is Wanting What You Get

By Jenny Mallos

Everyone I know wants to be successful and happy yet most of us do not take the time to define and articulate what these mean to us. When this happens we become the obstacle to our own success and happiness and life literally feels like a wild goose chase.

The most common symptoms of being on a wild goose chase include being so busy you don't have time to think; working harder and longer with less satisfaction and fewer results; spending too much time 'zoning out' at the end of the day watching TV just to relax; feeling tired but unable to sleep; too much caffeine/alcohol/sugar/tobacco to either stay alert or unwind; no time for family or friends; habitually running late or behind schedule; constantly focusing on what's wrong or not working in your life; and having predominantly negative thoughts.

Well, I think I just described about 90% of the human race!! The problem is not that we do these things; the problem is being so caught up in our heads, in our busy-ness and the frustration of daily life that we LOSE AWARENESS OF WHAT IS HAPPENING. And when we lose awareness we become the victims of circumstance rather than the creators of our life.

I'm not going to pretend here and tell you that life is a bed of roses and that we should always have a positive mind-set. That's just plain unrealistic and not even desirable. There is absolutely no point in pretending about your life. If what's going on right now in your life sucks, then putting on a brave face or being the courageous martyr serves no-one and only depletes you of energy.

This may sound contrary to what a lot of motivational texts say - the one that encourages us to 'fake it till we make it.' Well, I don't know about the rest of you but that has never worked for me and it has never worked with any of my clients. Awareness starts with taking a reality check. This can often be painful but how are you ever going to make things better if you don't know what you are fighting against?

The key to a successful battle is knowing your enemy intimately. In this case, the enemy is the thoughts, behaviours and actions you have taken UP UNTIL NOW that have given you the results you are now enjoying - or not enjoying as the case may be. This is good news; in fact it's great news! It's great news because if you understand this one point - the point that says your past actions have produced your current results - you are free to change your life by changing your actions.

But before you can change your actions you need to stop what you are doing and THINK; you need to reflect on what is important to you and what is in your heart. Don't expect the answers to jump out at you immediately. Most of us have spent the majority of our lives chasing dreams that mean nothing to us or living according to someone else's expectations that our true feelings and hearts' desire are buried beneath layers of habitual and conditioned behaviours.

The first step is always this: take an inventory of where you are NOW.

Next, identify what works and what isn't working in your life and decide which things you want to continue doing and which you want to take off your plate. Be ruthless and above all, be honest with yourself. We are talking about your life here, not someone else's.

Then, and only then are you ready to start exploring what success and happiness might mean for you.


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