Originally Posted by ms_joshica
Actually it is not. I went to school with him. I don't know much about Urban legends, b/c I don't listen to them. I only repeat fact. He was 13 and we went to school with him. His mother and my mother were friends. These are actual facts. I don't deal in urban legends. FYI. I also had a piercing, in my tongue, not to mention OTHER places and it healed just fine from taking it out. I just decided I didn't want it, and I had nothing oozing from it whatsoever, but it is up to you. However, a true physican can advise you beter than ANYONE
Which is who she really should see right now. Because I've never heard of a let it heal to let it heal rule. Even when I got my piercings and trust, I had many, all professionally done. No at home piercing should go unseen by a doctor the risk of infection is just too darn high, and a child dying of infection over a ring in the lip so isn't worth it her life is much more precious than that. Infections, as I dealt with nursing, can move quickly and quietly. They can sneak up and show little symptoms and by the time real symptoms show it could be too late. Her braces and JUST the sheer disobience are among other factors as well.
Plus a real piercer couldn't have pierced w/o parents permission, so consten does play a big factor in this. Let her know it could heal wrong, it could infect, she could be stuck with a scar, most teens are already worried about their skin condition. But as the mother you have the final say.
I tend to agree with this post. I have had MANY MANY MANY piercings (all done professionally), and some were self-piercings/hacky home jobs...the self-piercings were performed between the ages of 13-18. Those have since been removed...I am WELL informed of the dangers of self-piercing, or home piercings. I would make her take it out, however, as a matter of principle...it's the right thing to do as a mother. But I agree that removing jewelry from an unhealed piercing is dangerous...there is the risk of trapping an infection inside the wound and creating an abcess. Once she removes the jewelry, make her clean the area the area thoroughly with a gentle cleanser on the outside, and with a gentle mouthwash to clean the inside of her lip. This should be done once a day, until you're sure the piercing has fully closed.
I would NOT advise her to go to a doctor if there are no signs of infection, which would be redness, swelling, a greenish or yellowish pus, hot to the touch, etc. The reason why I say this, is that most doctor's are not "piercing-friendly," meaning that many discourage the practice unnecessarily, and are actually not well-educated on piercing aftercare...many over-generalize, and feed into the myths that are floating around out there about it. Now, if she does get an infection, PLEASE take her to a doctor...she will need antibiotics in order to get rid of it.
Your daughter needs to know a few things:
1) Self-piercing and home piercings are extremely dangerous things. Piercings can only be done safely by a professional...and a true professional will NOT pierce a young person without parental consent. Most wait until the child is 18. This is as much for safety reasons, as it is the law in most states. A piercing MUST be performed with a piercing needle, that has been fully autoclaved, and used ONLY once out of the package. The environment in which a piercing takes place must be sterile...and by that, I mean COMPLETELY sterile. There are other safety issues as well...such as proper piercing placement (where on the lip it is safe to pierce), proper measure of the lip and jewelry size, and appropriate aftercare procedures. None of the above (with the exception of aftercare) can be accomplished in someone's HOME, by another 13 year-old, on another 13 year-old's body. What she did was very risky, and downright dangerous...not to mention disrespectful of you as her mother.
2) She is 13. 13!!! She is living under YOUR roof, eating your food, wearing clothes that YOU provide, etc. This is not about "HER" body...because guess what? Her body is YOURS legally until she turns 18!!!!!!!! You shelter that body, feed it, and clothe it. And if you do not consent to her lip being pierced at this age, she MUST respect it...and her FRIENDS must respect your decisions for your daughter as well. I would most certainly call the friend's mother, and tell her what happened...this child needs to know that what she did for your daughter was unacceptable in your home as well, and that she will not be welcome in your home for a few weeks.
As far as a consequence, I would keep her in the house, and remove priviledges...take away her phone priviledges, cut her allowance (if she gets one), and keep her inside. As a mother, I would also do some research into piercings, and look up all the dangers and risks of self-piercing, print it, and discuss your findings with her. Tell her that piercings are a responsibility, and it's about respecting your body...she disrespected your requests, which further proves she is NOT ready for a professional piercing. If she wants to behave maturely (and most 13 year-old girls have the DESIRE for maturity...it just doesn't come naturally yet), then she needs to prove she is mature by waiting until she is older. THIS is maturity...being able to wait for things we want. And since we're talking about maturity, she will need some extra things to do around the house...help clean the bathroom, take the trash out, help with dishes, help vaccuum, etc.
Good luck! I remember being 13 like it was yesterday!!! Kids want what they want NOW, and sometimes make poor choices. I know you can help her make better decisions!