Why does he care??? vent!!

theimp98 · Jul 30, 2006

Originally Posted by squirtle

He acts like he cares because he wants to keep you hanging out on the side as a back up, so to speak, if things don't work out in his current relationship. If your not in a relationship, he seems to think he can just come back to you at any time... It's like a safety net.

As a guy,, I can tell u this is 100% correct.

Once you break up with someone keep moving forward, never back,
I only talk to one of my ex gf, from years ago, lol in fact we somtimes forget we even dated years ago, I am also friends with her husband.

yes you can break up with someone and still be friends but in this case, from what he said to you,, You are his back up plan.

rosiemac · Jul 30, 2006

Fran it's quite obvious he doesn't want you to move on, and the more contact you have with him he won't stop pestering you.

If i was you i would change my mobile number and get a new e-mail address otherwise he won't give up, and as long as he's on the scene like that you can't move on.

He's burnt his bridges, and i honestly don't think he'd change even if he wanted to, so try and break contact with him as soon as you can.

fwan · Jul 30, 2006

I am not able to break contact with him, with he owes us alot of money, and we still work together. But this only for another month or so.

There would be no reason for him to come back together with me, because i am not like I used to be. I just hope he figures out another back up plan soon

He wouldnt sign any papers stating he would pay back the money, right now it would be pointless investing so much money in a lawyer, and then take him to court, when he doesnt even have money to pay me back. And the fact is that he is another country!
I am not so stressed, i just hope that it all sorts out soon eventually!

flisssweetpea · Jul 30, 2006

Fran, I agree with what everyone else has said here. You ask why he cares? Well, the truth is he doesn't care - not about you anyway; although why he wouldn't care for you I just don't know. He only cares about himself and is trying to keep you on the sidelines in case things don't work out where he is now.

The sooner you can rid yourself of him the better - it's just a shame you have to keep contact to try and get your money back. One advantage of a lawyer is that you wouldn't be talking to him anymore, the lawyer would.

Big hugs to you

maverick_kitten · Jul 30, 2006

Fran - you know he ia an idiot, so why do you even give him the time of day?!

Think how much your life has improved since he left and how much happier you are now. He was just holding you back before.

Keep in touch with him until you get all your money back then change your email ad, your number, the lot.

Its hard breaking ties, but you are such a pretty girl and can do so much better than him (your toyboy is waaayyyy cuter anyway! lol!)

Just be thankful that he left you for that beast, as my gran would say at least they wont spoil another pair now!

kuuyku · Jul 30, 2006

May I suggest cutting off personal communication? Also, small claims court does not require a lawyer, just a plantif and defendent infront of a judge, so that may be a viable option. After, you could cut communications entirely and rid this scum from your life

Now, he probably cannot stand the thought of you moving on without him playing a role in your life. Unfortunately, as this has already been insinuated, he most likely has control issues and/or residual feelings. Good luck.

lilleah · Jul 30, 2006

Originally Posted by fwan

I know He makes the Jealousy wayy too obvious, I really wonder when she will catch him saying all these things!

If he doesnt stop I will just copy and paste what he writes to me to her. So they can have their "stress" and ill have my peace for a while

Love this idea. MAN! I wish I would have thought of that one a few months ago.
You should do it...They'd surely leave you alone for a little bit anyways.

zak&rocky · Jul 30, 2006

Originally Posted by Kuuyku

May I suggest cutting off personal communication? Also, small claims court does not require a lawyer, just a plantif and defendent infront of a judge, so that may be a viable option. After, you could cut communications entirely and rid this scum from your life

Now, he probably cannot stand the thought of you moving on without him playing a role in your life. Unfortunately, as this has already been insinuated, he most likely has control issues and/or residual feelings. Good luck.

Fran's in Germany.. so I think things are different.. Money makes stuff pretty complicated. I hope you can get it back real soon!

yosemite · Jul 30, 2006

What about just telling him you slept with your new boyfriend even if you haven't. Then he won't "bother" you anymore!

fwan · Jul 31, 2006

Originally Posted by Yosemite

What about just telling him you slept with your new boyfriend even if you haven't. Then he won't "bother" you anymore!

I ended up doing so last night, then he went on to ask me if he was better, and i told him that my current bf is BETTER at EVERYTHING than what my EX ever was... lets just say he went off to "bed" pretty quickly after that.

Atleast its all out now and i hope he wont bother me anymore!

luckygirl · Jul 31, 2006

He wants to have his cake & eat it too! And you, my dear are the cake! As hard as it is, you have to cut your losses... It is unfair of him to be engaged & have a child with someone else, and then make comments about a person you are dating... and to resort to such childish tactics as he has, he really doesn't seem worth your time anyway. Good Luck, I hope it isn't too painful for you to be done with his "friendship".

hell603 · Jul 31, 2006

Fran -it's time to cut the strings for good!!!!

You are too special of a person to deal with this manipulative man that obviously wants control of your life!!!!

rosiemac · Jul 31, 2006

Originally Posted by flisssweetpea

One advantage of a lawyer is that you wouldn't be talking to him anymore, the lawyer would.

I couldn't agree more with what Beths said here. They would make him find the money to pay you back.

If he's saying he hasn't got the money now then when does he plan on paying you back?. He's got you where he wants you at the end of the day, and i don't know how much he owes but if it's a lot then i would certainly be getting legal advice, failing that i would write it off and wave him goodbye otherwise your never going to get rid of him.

I wouldn't play the same game as him either about telling him about your new bf because it's got nothing to do with him, and the more you both give each other amunition the worse it'll get

fwan · Jul 31, 2006

Well he has said that he is happy for me, so i think thats the last straw for him, he is behaving normal today.

His gf is not pregnant as she is now bleeding

But i told him its nothing to do with me and if she does get pregnant again then i congratulate them but thats it.

I really do limit my talking time with him.
He tried to get more information about my bf last night, and i told him he has no right to ask me about him as its not his relationship or his business.

If he didnt owe me such money I would have cut all contact a long long time ago.

katachtig · Jul 31, 2006

Originally Posted by fwan

I really do limit my talking time with him.
He tried to get more information about my bf last night, and i told him he has no right to ask me about him as its not his relationship or his business.

Well done

It isn't his business at all and you don't need to tell him a darn thing about any of it. Stick to it and we will support you all the way.

fwan · Jul 31, 2006

Thank you!!

Gosh I

You all !!!

Why does he care??? vent!!

theimp98

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rosiemac

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fwan

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flisssweetpea

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maverick_kitten

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kuuyku

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lilleah

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zak&rocky

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yosemite

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fwan

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luckygirl

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hell603

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rosiemac

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fwan

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katachtig

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fwan

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