declawing

cinder

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jul 24, 2006
Messages
988
Purraise
5
Location
Oregon
I don't think you should lie either.

If the couch or a couple pieces of furniture are the only reason they want the kitten declawed, give them back to your parents. Buy yourself a few pieces of used furniture in the classifieds or at a thrift store. If their only reason for wanting it done is to keep their thumb on you, well... At some point you will have to make a decision whether that kind of behaviour on their part is going to be allowed to continue. When you draw that line can have significant consequenses, so make sure you choose the right place and time.

It would kill me to do this and I would probably only do it as a last resort, but it's another option. If they won't relent, consider placing your kitten in a home with someone you know will be a good parent and adopt an already declawed cat or kitten from the shelter. For some reason there always seems to be quite of few of them there.
At least that might allow you to continue your education at their expense without mutilating the kitten, while providing a home for another cat.
 

cata_mint

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jun 7, 2006
Messages
979
Purraise
2
Location
Maybe its because I'm a...
While I do agree with cinder, declawed cats have many problems, which are listed in detail throughout this site, and are often the reason they are given up in the first place.
I'm not sure how common this in in the USA but could you take a gap year or two? If you defered your place at uni then you could work a full time job and earn the money you need to study. Its quite common in the UK. If you got a job near your uni you could also work while you study. Give it a thought anyway
 

cinder

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jul 24, 2006
Messages
988
Purraise
5
Location
Oregon
That's true cata_mint, that is why many are there in the first place. But they still need homes too. I'm hoping it never comes to that for TexbabyJ and that she can work out a compromise with her parents.

If given that alternative and no other options, I would place one of my cats in another home before I'd declaw them.

Worst case scenario...you declaw the kitten, which then develops problems....like peeing on that special couch.
 

zissou'smom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
6,482
Purraise
8
Okay... yes, declawing may cause behavioral problems, however, those cats aren't usually up for adoption. The previously declawed cats up for adoption have passed the tests usually, for not house soiling or being aggressive. In a kill shelter, cats who bite or won't use a box are put down, and in no-kills they are usually adopted as "permanent residents" who live at the shelter for life and are not up for adoption.

Getting a previously declawed cat from a shelter then, is way better for many reasons if you must have a declawed kitty. For one, you aren't mutilating another cat, and for another you already know if it currently has issues resulting from it's declaw. No guarantee that they won't develop any of the possible other problems, but then we can't gaurantee the health of any cat for the future!

However, the best case scenario in this instance is that her parents don't try to make her declaw her kitten and she can keep her baby kitty! I am really optimistic that it can work somehow.
 

jaycee

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
926
Purraise
5
Location
Washington state
gosh i have a feeling this post could make me pretty unpopular really fast but heres my opinion:

ive owned two declawed cats in the past, that i personally took to the vet and had declawed, and never had any behavior problems out of either. i dont think wanting to keep your furniture from being all torn up is a bad reason to have it done. ive never heard of declawing causing any sort of problems with cats and i am not against doing it. i looked at those pictures of the surgery and honestly, it doesnt look that bad to me. no surgery is pretty but thats actually one of the least gruesome ive ever seen. its up to each individual if they think its a good idea or not for their own circumstances. i would NEVER let a declawed cat outside though.

julie
 

urbantigers

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
2,175
Purraise
7
Location
UK
well jaycee - I'm not going to go into all the reasons against declawing here as that's been done so many times before - but bear in mind the OP does not want to declaw her cat. Her cat is not tearing up her furniture. It's her parents who are wanting her to declaw the cat as a condition of college funding.
 

vik61

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Jun 27, 2006
Messages
524
Purraise
1
I've always loved what my now deceased ex-husband used to say when he said you never truly know a person until you know their boundaries. And, you can't truly love a person until or unless you know them. Your parents don't seem to have a problem making their boundaries known, it's time you begin to let them know where yours are.

Being that your kitten is yours, you can tell them you will not have your kitten declawed. Tell them this and tell them all the reasons morally and ethically why you cannot do this to another living thing. If they don't respect your wishes, they can choose to "cut you off" but they won't. Believe me, they want you to go to college a whole hell of a lot more than they want your kitten declawed. Think about it.

Every time they bring it up after your initial boundary discussion just *calmly* tell them, "I've already discussed this with you, what more do you want to know?

Then when they persist, tell them, "I will be devastated if I cannot go to college, but I will be more devastated to knowingly harm a kitten I know I can train to refrain from scratching over time." Tell them you cannot get financial aid grants and loans either and working yourself will not cover the cost of a degree, so you'll be forced to work at McDonalds. Don't freak out when they say, "Okay, I guess you'll be working at McDonalds then." Just go fill out the application.

Eventually you will no longer be under their wing, so to speak, and then you WILL be able to get both grants and loans via the federal government, and you deserve these. By the way, everyone deserves love and respect, both.

If they continue arguing with you, just say, "I've nothing left to say. I'm really sorry you are forcing this on me, I wish it weren't so but I feel strongly about declawing."

If I am wrong, and after a month or so of you sticking to this routine with them, if they really aren't going to pay for your college over a kitten, then ask your parents if your giving the kitten away will be an acceptable compromise. Tell them that shelters often find homes for unwanted pets but do not say exactly how you plan on getting rid of the kitten. If this will make your parents happy, give the kitten to a close friend to hold for you--but do not tell your parents anything except that you gave the kitten away, end of story.

Do not speak of it again with them. Learn to change the subject graciously. Practice practice practice. It's a skill you'll be needing.

Have the friend give the kitten back once you are firmly ensconced in college. In this way you are not lying.

You need to start laying out these type of boundaries with your parents anyway, given they're being so unreasonable. Always be very clear, and never talk about things beyond what is required to be clear--don't go into too many details. This is how pulling back works with controlling parents--you're essentially training them....

However, I strongly suggest you might want to get the support of a good counselor and work with him/her on this parents problem. That type of work will pay off big time in the long run, believe me. It's not going to be easy, so you might as well get someone who is on your side for support. Many people use counselors in this way, they go for the express purpose of working on a specific relationship, or parents, or even any life change (like going to college) and when they are done, it is agreed the therapy ends. All universities have counselors who are usually both good and cheap if not free. In the meantime, see if you can get someone locally to help you with this.

Keep us posted too, I hope.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #28

texbabyj

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Apr 9, 2006
Messages
73
Purraise
1
Location
Lubbock
I had a long talk with my dad this past weekend and showed him the pics. While he is not an animal person he is more down to earth than my mother. He said he would be willing to give me a chance to train my kittne not to claw up anything. He says that if he coems to visit and my furniture has been torn up that I will have tow options, get rid of the cat or declaw her. I don't think she and I will have any problems with her clawing up my furniture, my biggest fear is that she might do it out of boredom because I will not be there for a good chunk of the day. She was used to me working 4 days out of the week so hopefully she will be fine.
 

laureen227

Darksome Duo!
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 3, 2003
Messages
19,260
Purraise
387
Location
Denton TX
Originally Posted by jaycee

ive owned two declawed cats in the past, that i personally took to the vet and had declawed, and never had any behavior problems out of either.

julie
i currently have 2 declawed cats, one of which i had declawed, & have owned 3 more previously. only 1 had what i would term 'biting' issues, & IMO, she had cause. none ever had litterbox issues related to the declaw. one had a litterbox problem related to an intestinal infection that i didn't catch quickly enough...Chip occasionally will put his teeth on me, but doesn't actually bite. Pixel never even tries, regardless of how unhappy she is with whatever is going on. Mouse never tried to bite, either.

i'm glad your dad is willing to give you & the kitty a chance. make sure she has other things around to claw instead of your furniture!
 

tnr1

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Oct 5, 2003
Messages
7,980
Purraise
13
Location
Northern Virginia
Declawing is an extreme solution to a problem...and just because your cat doesn't SHOW any issues with it doesn't mean that the cat isn't in pain. Cats hide their pain for the most part and truthfully....given that there are many other solutions out there (and that there are plenty of already declawed cats available) I am very much against going to the most extreme solution first.

Declawing provides no health benefit to cats such as spaying/neutering.

Could you live without the first joint of your fingers?? Sure...if you had a choice, would you prefer to have your fingers intact?? I think the answer is a resounding yes.

Katie
 

cinder

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jul 24, 2006
Messages
988
Purraise
5
Location
Oregon
Thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s great that your dad is giving you a chance. Get yourself some scratching posts and hopefully thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s the end of it!


Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m new so I havenâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t read any of the past declawing discussions. I imagine theyâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve been heated. I have my priorities. Fortunately, DH has been supportive. The last time we moved and purchased all new furniture we bought mission style futons (sofa, love seats, double chairs, chairs, etc…the whole works) so we wouldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t have problems with the legs and arms, and could change the covers when necessary. Yes, people are entitled to have nice things. It can be hard work…trimming nails, soft paws, training, training and more training. But thereâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s nothing I own that I wouldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t be willing to pile in the yard and put a match to before Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]d declaw my cats for my own convenience. Thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s just me though. People have such varying opinions about the role of animals within their lives and families. No way youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ll ever get people to agree.

When I have to make a difficult decision for one of my cats, I sometimes ask myself if what I'm doing is my benefit or the cat. (ex...prolonging treatment to keep a terminally ill kitty going a while longer) I always try to do what's best for them whether it hurts me or not. Declawing is a procedure I just can't ever see as being a benefit to the cat, so I don't do it.
 

bab-ush-niik

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Jan 17, 2006
Messages
574
Purraise
2
So, you're going off to college and your parent's bought you brand new furniture? Why? It's going to be in a college apartment. If you aren't pulling couches off the sidewalk with "FREE" signs on them, then you aren't living the college life. If they want to buy you new furniture, take the money and save it for when you have a real house and a nice place for furniture. Most college students move every couple of years, and some move every year. The great bonus if having cheap furniture is that you don't have to haul it with you every time you move. Don't like it that much? Don't want to carry it? Put it on the street with a FREE sign. Easy.

Resell the furniture. Use the money to buy smaller decorative items like pillows and a slipcover (for ugly couches). And buy softpaws.

And just a random bit of advice, be careful about the "do what we say or we won't pay for rent/car/tuition" thing. One of my friends had to live at home and commute an hour to school because of this kind of blackmail. She was cheated out of ever having a college life because of her parents' using finances as a weapon to control her life. It might be time for you to learn good negotiating techniques.
 

theimp98

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 24, 2006
Messages
11,427
Purraise
2
Location
elyria, ohio
Originally Posted by bab-ush-niik

So, you're going off to college and your parent's bought you brand new furniture? Why? It's going to be in a college apartment. If you aren't pulling couches off the sidewalk with "FREE" signs on them, then you aren't living the college life.
lol like i said in my post, my furniture minus my bed, all came from the road side the first couple of years
heck i was not even allowed to take MY desk to school with me, cause my mother and father where worried it would get a mark on it.

Anyway i hope that you can train the kitty,

good luck
 

enkeli-kitten

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Jul 29, 2006
Messages
208
Purraise
1
Location
Where the lions roam free
How about protecting your furniture with a rug or something? My cats love sharpening their claws on the rugs.
Dad hisses at them when they do it. Or you could tack a plastic sheet to the bottom of your couch for a while, that will discourage them because they can't get a grip.
Or pursuade your parents that a scratchy post will stop the cats clawing the furniture (probably not true, but worth a try...)
 

muttigreemom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 8, 2005
Messages
1,239
Purraise
1
Location
Florida
Originally Posted by coaster

Warning: gruesome pictures of a declaw surgery (don't click if you're squeamish) but maybe if they see that they'll change their minds.
Wow... you ain't kiddin! I got to the second picture and that was way more than enough for me.
And I'm never squeamish about surgery-type photos.
 

lionessrampant

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jun 14, 2005
Messages
4,161
Purraise
6
Location
Windy City Kitty :)
Originally Posted by TexbabyJ

ok wow those pics were bad. thanks for all your support everyone. I will try talking to them more and then I will lie if that doesn't work because y'all are right about this being a control thing. It seems like everytime I turn around my mom is threatening to cut me off because I did something she doesn't like. I have been looking into loans and other things and some of my friends who are more self-sufficient are going to help me see what loans i can get if my parents do indeed follow through for once.
Honey, I have been exactly where you are. My mom has some serious control issues and attaches all sort of conditions to their financial help.

I thin what you'll find is that they throw these conditions out left and right. Just smile, nod, act as respectfully as possible to them and their values and then...go out and do your thing. It's not like they send spies or anything. You get extra points if you can find a part-time job and cover whatever bills you're able to. THen you get more leverage.

And there's always the argument of "Ok, then I'll have to drop out and do x, y and z just to get by and I'll probably even have to MOVE BACK HOME!!!" That works every time


In all seriousness, if you act like an autonmous adult, you'll no doubt be treated like one. Tell them that you really do respect their opinion, you'll consider their well-meant advice and that you appreciate them and all they do for you. And leave it at that. Then, prove to them that a fully-armed cat can make a fantastic pet.
 

zissou'smom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
6,482
Purraise
8
Excellent advice LionessRampant. That's how my mom taught me to treat my dad, too.

Except he really does send spies. Its kinda creepy. In high school, he would just come stand in the hallway and watch people. My friends would see him and come tell me. They all knew not to talk to him, but he'd go see my teachers and stuff, like during their lunch...
He's even done it a couple times in college and it's like three hours away. Someone will just come up to me and say, "I saw your dad earlier" and he never called or came to see me or anything... weird.



And just to clarify this thread, as there has been confusion lately... TexBaby's parents have agreed to not force her to declaw the cat as it stands now, and she never wanted to in the first place. We don't need to convince her its wrong.
 
Top