declawing

I am not one to support declawing, however my parents have said that if I do not declaw my kitten (who is about 4 months old) then they will not pay for my rent and bills while I am in college. What should I do?

unless you can get a job and pay for it yourself I say try softclaws. Try them out to see how it goes it might change their minds

It is unfair of your parents to blackmail you into declawing your kitten... maybe you should have a discussion with them about how much it will upset you to declaw your kitten. Do it calmly, without yelling or freaking out.

Most people who want to declaw or are considering it have not researched it enough to fully understand what it really is. Maybe if you find some articles on it, or a documentary on it, it could at least persuade them to wait and see? Alot of people believe that declawing is a routine surgery that almost goes along with having an indoor cat. It is not. It is an amputation of the toes which can cause behavioral problems far worse than inappropriate scratching.

Every argument against declawing has been made on these forums about 100 times, if you do a search of the forum maybe you can find some good ammo.

If your parents put so many strings on supporting you in college though, maybe you need to talk to them about that too though. Is the kitten living with you, or staying with them while you are at school?

my kitten will be living with me. I think my parents main concern is that she will destroy my furniture since I will not be home a whole whole lot, but I was planning on using the soft claws, which I looked at today and they have in kitten size. There was also this sticky paws tape stuff, that i had never heard of before and don't know anything about really. I would like to get her a friend once I move up to Lubbock with her that way she isn't alone all of the time I am at school and working

There is a lot of information on declawing in this thread. Can you try to educate your parents about what declawing entails?

http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=41954

i have shown them the threads and they have a cat that they declawed which they still allow to go outside... they think of pets as below them in a way. like they don't need love and attention. They don't think they soft claws will work even tho my kitten has not torn anything in my room up yet and i have had her since May. She rarely even claws at my rugs.

If your cat is living with you, I really don't understand the insistence on declawing. Are they buying you nice furniture? If so why don't you tell them you don't need nice furniture and would rather have your kitten with all her claws.

Or tell them to compromise, and if she starts clawing your stuff then you'll consider it. Since it is pretty easy to prevent a cat from scratching, esp with SoftClaws, you'll never have to "consider" it. Sneaky I guess, but certainly not immoral.

i didn't want the new furnuture I got and the only thing i really got she could harm is a couch. I do not have a love seat or any chairsd except my dining table which is mostly metal. I will talk to them some more and see if I can do the trial basis. I do not truely understand why they care so much because they would never be in lubbock and if she did any damage to my couch i would still use it. Thank you all for your help and I will keep you posted on my what my parents decide. Have your fingers crossed for me

Have you told them about softpaws?

I agree with giving your parents some info about declawing and soft paws- your parents are probably of the generation that believed declawing was a simple and normal thing. Please reassure them that you will take every step to insure that kitty does not destroy any property and that you have the destructive tendencies well in hand with training and soft paws. Maybe they just don't know about this stuff. Good luck!

Ok if they are never going to be where you are, just lie to them.

Alternatively, consider trying to go to school with out there support - it sounds like they are having a little power trip for themselves on your time - buying you stuff (but which they clearly don't think of as yours to do with as you like), threatening you over something that doesn't affect them at all.

If they don't care about cats, or why declawing is bad, or what can happen to a declawed cat that goes outside, you will never convince them that you are right and that they are wrong.

The only thing left to do is stand up for yourself and the life you are responsible for.

Honestly, I would lie to them too. If they are being that unreasonable...Tell them if you want her declawed then you give me the money for it and then go out and buy her some soft claws. haha that might be hard to do but they are being really stupid about it.

Warning: gruesome pictures of a declaw surgery (don't click if you're squeamish) but maybe if they see that they'll change their minds.

It's unfair of your parents to blackmail you into declawing your kitty. I'd be tempted to call their bluff. You're an adult and the cat is yours so tell them that you won't be declawing him/her. If they then refuse to help you through college then that's a separate problem that you (and they) will have to deal with. After all, even if you went ahead and declawed your kitty, what other conditions are they going to attach to their financial help?

when i was in school, my stuff all came from the stuff other people trossed out. you would shocked at some of the good stuff you can find along side the road at 3am

i would agree that there is still some control issue there.

this is mean, but i still remember being 19, my father coming over and yelling at about me having a cat and ferret in the apartment, and the fun i had saying , you dont pay the bills here i do. heheh.

Good luck, and no yelling

ok wow those pics were bad. thanks for all your support everyone. I will try talking to them more and then I will lie if that doesn't work because y'all are right about this being a control thing. It seems like everytime I turn around my mom is threatening to cut me off because I did something she doesn't like. I have been looking into loans and other things and some of my friends who are more self-sufficient are going to help me see what loans i can get if my parents do indeed follow through for once.

Originally Posted by TexbabyJ

I have been looking into loans and other things and some of my friends who are more self-sufficient are going to help me see what loans i can get if my parents do indeed follow through for once.

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Good for you! It is hard to start out on your own, but everyone has to do it eventually. When I moved out of my parents house 3 years ago and started paying all of my own bills, I felt so responsible! Good luck

Originally Posted by TexbabyJ

then I will lie if that doesn't work

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i would say dont lie.but you are a adult.
you know your mom and dad best.

Originally Posted by TexbabyJ

ok wow those pics were bad. thanks for all your support everyone. I will try talking to them more and then I will lie if that doesn't work because y'all are right about this being a control thing. It seems like everytime I turn around my mom is threatening to cut me off because I did something she doesn't like. I have been looking into loans and other things and some of my friends who are more self-sufficient are going to help me see what loans i can get if my parents do indeed follow through for once.

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Yay! I was also going to suggest talking to a financial aid counselor at your school about ways to pay for school on your own. Not just because of the immediate kitty issue, but as someone else said, what other kinds of strings are they going to attach to this, and other things? It's hard on your own, but not the end of the world--remember that lots of the students around you have no or very little help from parents for a variety of reasons. If they can do it, you can too.

Okay, this is going against the grain here, but I do not think you should lie to your parents and there is nothing Financial Aid can do for you on your own if a) your parents can afford to pay for your school (which they probably can, if they can afford all your rent and bills and tuition) and b) they will not fill out the FAFSA, which if they're willing to cut you off they're willing to not fill out the FAFSA.

My father is a controlling psychopath too, and I've had a heck of a time getting through school. Things will be different once you move. But I honestly, from personal experience, recommend that you do as much as you reasonably can to get them to pay for school. If your parents decide to control you, they can feasibly prevent you from going to school at all unless you can pay for everything yourself WITHOUT loans or financial aid, which you won't be able to get until you are 23 without their consent. You don't have good enough credit to get loans by yourself, and Financial Aid can't do a thing if you are still a dependent student, which you are.

I really don't want you to get your kitty declawed, but do not ruin your life over this. Talk to them, and try to change their mind, but don't lie (you will get caught!) and don't tell them you don't need their money because you do.