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Need to Vent!!

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
I am so annoyed/upset/angry right now I could cry and spit at the same time!!!

I know this is going to sound TERRIBLY concieted of me and I'm going to sound selfish but I have a friend who is 19 years old. She is pregnant with her 3rd child!!!!! All I want is one and I can't seem to make that happen! Why ): ? What's wrong with me ):?

My two worst enemies from highschool both had kids, a few good friends from highschool are pregnant, none of them engaged/married/ serious to anyone and I'm about to be a wife and can't have a baby ):

I just wanna cry.

Why is it trendy to have a baby right now when the people who honestly want one can't seem to have one? ):
post #2 of 20
All I can do is offer understanding...and say that for every woman who has had to deal with infertility, that "why not me" and "why them" are common thoughts.

I wish you your dream in the near future,
from one who didn't achieve hers,
post #3 of 20
I don't think you sound selfish. frustrated but not really selfish.
You know there are many things that could be preventing you from having a baby. Maybe a docter can help you out. My friend tried for like 3 years and one day she just went to the dr. Her husband had very low sperm count or something like that. I guess she did something called invetro or something. Anyway she is now pregnant and is about to have her baby in a few weeks.
post #4 of 20
I know how you feel. I have to have kids soon because I have a heart condition, and if the problem gets any worse I won't be allowed to have kids, but have been on Depo Provera injections for years, so despite not having an injection for 6 months, I haven't even got my periods again, so it's going to be at least another 1-2 years before I'm even able to have kids probably I also get really upset when I discover when someone's gotten pregnant "by accident", especially if they don't want to be pregnant!
post #5 of 20
I know exactly how you feel. I have a friend who is 18 and is just about to have her second baby, and several of the girls I graduated with have new babies. Most all of them were "accidents". After my miscarriage last month, I can't even stand to be around the above mentioned friend. She's always complaining about being uncomfortable, and dosen't even take care of her first child, or the two children of the man that is the father of this baby (if that made any sense at all). I can't stand to look at her belly and hear her complain about it. I'd give almost anything to be that kind of miserable right now. If you want to talk, just give me a pm, I'm having a hard time with this right now too...
post #6 of 20
Dont be sad! you are still young, plenty of time!!!

Having a child is not trendy! its alot of work and alot of money! $$$
Spend as much love time with your Bf/hubby, because once the baby is there it makes things complicated.
post #7 of 20
Personally, I'm a little horrified after reading this thread. I don't understand why all these very young women are popping out sprogs in the first place. It sounds like an epidemic of irresponsible teenagers breeding out of control.
Some 19 yo's 3rd accidental pregnancy is not something to be envious of.
If you're as young as you seem to be, then you relly need to relax about this - you've got plenty of time to keep trying.
It is the 21st century in the States right? You know there's a whole lot more to life for young women these days than becoming baby machines?!!!
post #8 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by pushylady
Personally, I'm a little horrified after reading this thread. I don't understand why all these very young women are popping out sprogs in the first place. It sounds like an epidemic of irresponsible teenagers breeding out of control.
Some 19 yo's 3rd accidental pregnancy is not something to be envious of.
If you're as young as you seem to be, then you relly need to relax about this - you've got plenty of time to keep trying.
It is the 21st century in the States right? You know there's a whole lot more to life for young women these days than becoming baby machines?!!!
To be honest i was thinking the same thing, and I also echo Fwan's sentiments, enjoy your alone time with BF/hubby now, cause once you have a child, those times are over, at least for the most part. You're very young, enjoy your youth, many women are choosing to have children later in life so that they can accomplish stuff before thay settle down to raise a family. I do understand your frustration though, whatever happened to good ole birth control??
post #9 of 20
i am happily married with a cat and do not want a child right now. to do it right it takes time and money, someone so young should wait to feel where they are going in life: career, love, etc. there's plenty of time.
post #10 of 20
I sure can relate to how you feel. When we were ready to start a family I went off BC and for 8 years I never got pregnant. I gave up and accepted the fact that I would not ever be able to have kids. When I turned 29 I missed my monthly and never gave it a thought when I missed my 2nd one I still didn't. Friends said you must be pregnant and I thought no way after all these years of trying.Well I was and I'm the mom of two boys. the 2nd time it took 3 months and I was pregnant. So don't give it. It can happen for you.
post #11 of 20
I am so sorry you are going through this. We had this discussion at work a few days ago. It seems that any 16 y/o crackhead can pop a baby out every 9 months and 10 minutes, but people like you that genuinely want on have such a hard time. It burns me up when I hear babies referred to as accidents. Surprises, yes, but calling a sweet, inocent life an accident is just horrible!
I hope things get better for you soon. Sending you "have a happy, healthy pregnancy vibes."
post #12 of 20
Calm Down Sweety!
Your time will come, and it will be the right time for you. Everything happens for a reason, and you not getting pregnant right away doesn't mean you never will.

Man, If I was 19 with 3 kids, I would not be happy at all. That girl hasn't even had a chance to live her life. And now she has THREE kids. I wouldn't envy that if I were you..that would be too much for me.

Good luck!!
post #13 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pushylady
Personally, I'm a little horrified after reading this thread. I don't understand why all these very young women are popping out sprogs in the first place. It sounds like an epidemic of irresponsible teenagers breeding out of control.
Some 19 yo's 3rd accidental pregnancy is not something to be envious of.
If you're as young as you seem to be, then you relly need to relax about this - you've got plenty of time to keep trying.
It is the 21st century in the States right? You know there's a whole lot more to life for young women these days than becoming baby machines?!!!
Quite frankly, some women WANT a family and don't reguard themselves as "baby machines". I'm am engaged, working, and very happy. The only thing that would complete my life is to expand my family. Just because I'm young doesn't mean I don't know what I want. And yes, I am envious because I am ready for a child, this is third one that she wasn't ready for.
post #14 of 20
I know how it is,
I hope you dont feel attacked, i was like that too, i was engaged and ready to expand my family, untill things went terribly wrong and saw a different point of life!

I wanna travel, kids can wait atleast another 3 - 5 years

Right now i am having a ball, and not sad about anything at all!

*send you vibes to get pregnant soon*

I also should note, that just because you work and are engaged that doesnt mean that a baby will bring you happiness, i know some women who were all ready for it and ended up being depressed
I mean honestly, how many 19 year olds will actually stay together with their partners forever?

Life chucks alot of poo in your journey, you cant be ready for anything.
post #15 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by fwan
Life chucks alot of poo in your journey, you cant be ready for anything.
Couldn't have said it better myself I'm 28, and honestly, even if I wanted kids, I'm not ready for the responsibilty.
post #16 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by maddensmom
I know exactly how you feel. I have a friend who is 18 and is just about to have her second baby, and several of the girls I graduated with have new babies. Most all of them were "accidents". After my miscarriage last month, I can't even stand to be around the above mentioned friend. She's always complaining about being uncomfortable, and dosen't even take care of her first child, or the two children of the man that is the father of this baby (if that made any sense at all). I can't stand to look at her belly and hear her complain about it. I'd give almost anything to be that kind of miserable right now. If you want to talk, just give me a pm, I'm having a hard time with this right now too...
you took the words right outta my mouth... although I can't imagine what you must've gone through with a miscarriage...I am in tears every month when I get confirmation that once again, I'm not pregnant. Now my SIL is prego with her 2nd oops baby, and she's 5 yrs younger than me. I try to be sypathetic to her complaining about being fat, but I'd give anything to have that... and I too get upset when my husband's 16 yr old cousin got his 15 yr old girlfriend pregnant...with protection... and I know that it's physically impossible for us to try any more than we are right now, and have been for the past 2 yrs. I feel all of your pain, and you all have my heartfelt sympathy. If anyone needs to talk, you can pm me too.
post #17 of 20
I also wanted to add, that to some people, being a mother/parent has been a dream since childhood. I have always wanted kids... when I was 5 and my sister was born I told everyone that she was my baby... I always played with dolls and my punishment when I misbehaved was to take my cabbage patch away. I used to want 4 kids, now realistically I'd like 2 of my own. I could've been the irresponsible teenager and gotten myself pregnant in high school, but I'm not that way.... when I decided I was going to be active I got on BC and used other protection as well because I was "too young & not ready". Now, sometimes I wish I had not been so careful. Honestly, when are we ever ready? Even at 30, will I be ready for the changes of being a mother? Will I be able to stand after not sleeping for days? Will I be ready for the pain and heartache all mothers face as a child grows up? No, probably not, but I will welcome all of the challenges and difficulties with grace and with love.
post #18 of 20
Dont get me wrong, i do want children, i infact went off the pill and hoped i was pregnant at the end of last year and thats literally the most shameful thing i ever did!

Once i healed from the grief i found so many more things to do and to entertain my self that i probably couldnt when i have kids!

I personally think 23, 24 is a good age.

There is still so much more to learn at 19, and i know there is much more to learn when im 20, 21, 30 ect..
post #19 of 20
Thread Starter 
Raising a family is my dream! No one candiscurage me from that.
post #20 of 20
It may not help, but have you thought about looking into a form of natural family planning, like the Creighton method? http://www.creightonmodel.com/ I know most people think of NFP as a way to delay pregnancy, but since it helps you identify the times when you're body is most fertile, its actually a very accurate way to plan a pregnancy as well.

The other thing I would say is that a lot of time, stress and tension from wanting to be pregnant can keep you from it! I know that its tough, seeing people around you who have what you want most, and they don't want it at all, but use it as an opportunity and a reminder to treasure the child you will have all the more. Sending vibes and prayers your way.
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