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Sashka's new home

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Well, its finally happened and last night my sweet Sashka went to her new furever home. Max and I made the very difficult decision, after the trouble with our landlord etc, that although Mum would have Cairo and Sunday until we can have them back, that we didn't think that Sashka was ever going to be as happy as she used to be, because she just never, ever got used to the dogs no matter what we did. It was not fair on her and so we decided after many painful hours of conversation that she needed a new fur-family. It was a devastating decision and one that has been heavy on my heart for weeks.

For the last two weeks the wonderful Tania (Kumbulu) has been fostering them for me - and doing the most magnificent job of course. When I went to get them last night they were sweet, calm, fluffy and a little bit fatter than they had been and not only that, but the crazy feral kitten Frankie, who I thought had no chance in this life after he growled, hissed and spat at us through his pen for a solid hour the last time I was there, purred when I picked him up and let me cuddle him! She's a genius and its thanks to her that my babies have made this latest transition so well.

Well, we got to the new home (belonging to a nurse that Max works with, Helen, whom he trusts absolutely and already has a Russian Blue, Ziggy) and it was stunning. Helen, her husband John and her two sons Dalton and Callum were there to welcome us, and boy was Sashka welcomed with open arms! Helen has been working with Max for two years and felt she knew Sashka as well as we did - as they constantly talked about her at work. When she heard that we needed to home her she jumped at the chance - `Not Sashka! We'll take her!!' - and what a lovely home she is going to have. It is perfect for kitties - lots of nooks and crannies, high places, cat trees, toys and best of all, a beautiful log fire that Ziggy was sprawled elegantly in front of when we arrived, looking as princely as only a Russian Blue can.

John (new Dad) was very quick to point out more than once that Ziggy drinks his water from a crystal bowl (literally) and eats at table with them - `not off our plates, he has his own bowl at the end of the table' (!!) - and he sleeps on their beds, rotating each night to share the love - and has about as good a life as a cat can have. It bodes very well for Miss Sashka, who was showered with loving and cuddles until she disappeared under a bookcase. We were invited back for food and wine whenever we wanted, and were promised daily email updates with pictures and stories. Once she's settled I know she is going to have a long, happy life with her new family and although I am heartbroken, this is the best thing for her and I am very pleased with the outcome on the whole.

Helen's sons are young but so sweet and sensitive - the oldest said to me, `It must be really hard, giving away your cat' - just when I was trying NOT to cry! But I was touched at his sensitivity - he's only eight - and felt it was a good sign for my baby girl.

I shall post some pics as soon as I get some, but her new life has started and I think she's going to be very happy, even though it'll take me the rest of mine to get over it.
post #2 of 21
Oh Sarah, that's such a hard thing to have to do.
I can't imagine a more wonderful home for her to go to though. It sounds straight out of a cat's fairytale! You know she'll always be loved and so well looked after.
post #3 of 21
Thread Starter 
Yeh - Max and I were so jealous WE want to be a cat and live there! They were all so amazed at how tiny she is - they have one of the rarer big, muscly Russians - and Sashka is such a mini thing. But you should have seen them, `Oh she's beautiful! I love her name! Isn't she TINY??' and the boys especially had the biggest grins on their little faces. Ahh men who love cats - what could be better? And of course one of the first things Max noticed was the three bikes in the bedroom - he's a pro cyclist and said to me, `Well, its the perfect home. They like cats AND they ride!'. Typical!
post #4 of 21
Oh it just sounds perfect! And she has a handsome studly new boyfriend to snuggle up with in front of the fire.
post #5 of 21
Thread Starter 
Lol its so funny that you should say that!! I was saying to Max that she's never been alone her whole life, always had Sunday to look up to and be her Mummy (apart from me) and now she has Ziggy, who is the mellowest of beasts and I'm sure once the territorial issues are settled will be her new best friend, pillow-in-front-of-fire and playmate. He's beautiful.

When I told the boys that she still likes to play and a laser-light pen is her favourite of all toys, their eyes lit up like bonfires and they said `Ziggy too!!'. Oh, she's going to have a fun time!
post #6 of 21
Sarah, what a difficult decision you had to make. I'm sure you and Max are heartbroken. But I have to say...I truly admire your love and dedication to Sashka in knowing what is a better situation for her, doing what is the best thing for her even though it means doing the hardest thing yourself.

Sashka's new family sounds like a kitty's dream. What fun she will have with her new brother Ziggy and the furless brothers too! And it's just wonderful that they will keep you updated with her, and hopefully that you can keep visitation rights to her as well.
post #7 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by valanhb
Sarah, what a difficult decision you had to make. I'm sure you and Max are heartbroken. But I have to say...I truly admire your love and dedication to Sashka in knowing what is a better situation for her, doing what is the best thing for her even though it means doing the hardest thing yourself.

Sashka's new family sounds like a kitty's dream. What fun she will have with her new brother Ziggy and the furless brothers too! And it's just wonderful that they will keep you updated with her, and hopefully that you can keep visitation rights to her as well.
Thanks Heidi, I appreciate your thoughts. It has really been awful - I have been physically sick over it as well as emotionally anguished. You name it, I've thought it - every horrible thing about myself as a Meowmy that I can imagine and more. However, at the end of the day her happiness is the most important thing and I do believe that we have achieved a good result with that.

And visitation rights have already been offered and expected, which is wonderful!
post #8 of 21
Sarah, what a difficult decision to have to make!

It certainly sounds like you did a wonderful thing though and have found a fantastic new forever home for Sashka - I'm sure she'll be so happy!

Do you think Helen might like to join us here at TCS? It would be wonderful to meet Ziggy and see Sashka's progress in her new home!
post #9 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sar
Do you think Helen might like to join us here at TCS? It would be wonderful to meet Ziggy and see Sashka's progress in her new home!
Well, actually, I was thinking I might REALLY encourage her to do so!! I was going to email her a link, and show her Sashka's Catster page as well, and then she might get hooked!

Ziggy is a doll. He really is. A big (and I mean BIG), floppy, purry, cuddly, schnuggly boy. Which is lucky for them cos if they ever get an unsolicited smooch out of Sashka they won't know what's hit them! Not true not true, she's a darling girl when she feels safe and loved, which I'm sure will be the case soon
post #10 of 21
That's a great idea - not difficult to get hooked either!

I'm sure Sashka will feel safe and sound very soon! It sounds like she's going to be treated like the princess she is!
post #11 of 21
Sarah What a hard decision for you to have to make. I really hope this lady does join TCS so we can see sweet Sashka in her new home.
post #12 of 21
Thread Starter 
I hope so too. Everyone was standing around in Helen and John's bedroom last night, and Sashka had gone off to hide under the bookcase by the wall. I went off to say goodbye, you know, kind of surreptitiously on my own so I could have a moment with her, and she was squished as far back against the wall as she could go. I was on my belly, and she let me give her a really good scritch and cuddle, and didn't run off, and I said, `Bye bye my darling. Mummy loves you. Mummy loves you so much' and then let her go. I have to say it was probably the worst moment I've ever had in my life. It was awful, and then I cried in front of everyone. She looked so small and frightened, I really hope they send me some news and photos soon. I have actually been too ashamed to come on here and tell everyone about this, but I am glad I did now, because you have all been lovely, as I should have realised you would be
post #13 of 21
Sashka definitely knows that you love her and you're doing the best thing for her!

There's no shame in feeling so sad - we all would! We are here for you and know that you've done a fantastic and very unselfish thing!

I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of Sashka's progress too! I wonder how she's enjoying her crystal dish?!
post #14 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sar
Sashka definitely knows that you love her and you're doing the best thing for her!

There's no shame in feeling so sad - we all would! We are here for you and know that you've done a fantastic and very unselfish thing!

I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of Sashka's progress too! I wonder how she's enjoying her crystal dish?!
Oh that's kind of you. I meant I was ashamed for giving her up in the first place. I've thought of every possible horrid thing I could say to myself and then said it. It's been really bad, but I was very reassured by the lovely home we gave her to. They are very lucky people to be getting my beautiful girl, and she is going to be very happy, I hope!
post #15 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by KitEKats4Eva!
I was on my belly, and she let me give her a really good scritch and cuddle, and didn't run off, and I said, `Bye bye my darling. Mummy loves you. Mummy loves you so much' and then let her go. I have to say it was probably the worst moment I've ever had in my life. It was awful, and then I cried in front of everyone. She looked so small and frightened, I really hope they send me some news and photos soon. I have actually been too ashamed to come on here and tell everyone about this, but I am glad I did now, because you have all been lovely, as I should have realised you would be
Crying for you Sarah, at my desk at work, oh dear. I admire your strength. I think I would have the same reservations about telling everybody, but you did not do this because you couldn't look after her, it was to give her a better, happier life, in a dogless home. She'll get on just fine.
post #16 of 21
There's no shame in making such a difficult, heartwrenching decision. You had the best interests of your cat in mind and made the unselfish decision to get a new home for her.
post #17 of 21
I think what you did was very brave. It takes a big person to know when something needs changing and have the courage to do it even in the face of possible criticism. You knew in your heart that Sashka was not happy which in turn made you unhappy. You found her a warm, safe and very loving home even though it broke your heart to part with her. How could anyone find any blame against you for that?

I hope Sashka's new parents join TCS so we can see Sashka and her new brother.
post #18 of 21
Thread Starter 
Thank you for your kind words everyone. They mean an awful lot to me. I have been crying on the lounge room floor for two hours. I guess I'm just starting to go through a grieving process. I was picturing her before, rubbing around her new family's legs, being her sweet little self, happy and contented and not remembering any of the stress she's been through lately. Instead of making me happy it made me angry. I thought to myself, `She's MY cat, and they can't have her!'. I know I was being totally irrational and that I'm just hurt and I miss her, because I truly do want her to be happy. But the only think I can think of right now is my broken heart. Its so selfish of me but I can't help it.

She is so special to me, I got her when I first left my husband, and for one fabulous year when I was single again it was just me and my girls, hanging out in my own house, having mishaps and being a little family. It was Sashka who helped me find TCS, because she was such an unruly, crazy, wild little kitten and I was at my wit's end. She was the tiniest most beautiful, fierce little thing, who used to wait in the window every day for me to get home, and when I did she would headbutt the window so hard, meowing at me, that I thought she would knock herself out. She used to climb up to the top of the shower curtain and perch on the railing looking down at me every night when I had a shower after work. She stole my heart and I let her down because we got dogs and I thought she would adapt. But she didn't and now she doesn't have me at all, and I don't have her.

I know this is pathetic and a bit of a self-indulgent outpouring, but I miss her so badly already. At least I know that she is going to be very happy, that she is not unsafe, or unwell, or unloved. I will always love her and she will always be my little girl. I just miss her, that's all.

EDIT: Just got a gorgeous email from Helen, and I quote: Hi Sarah and Max, Hope there was not to much wailing on the way home!! Just a quick progress report. Sashka has just polished off a full bowl of fresh chicken, she has emerged from under the bed and spoken to John. I think she will fit in just fine. Hx

YAY! I have given her the link to this site and invited her and Ziggy to come along and meet everyone, I hope she does
post #19 of 21
I'm sorry you are hurting so much! It must be difficult, knowing the decisions you make cause an outcome you never envisioned and certainly don't want!

My sister had a kitty named Baby. The story of how she got her is rather interesting...one of her friends, who had multiple cats, married a guy with multiple cats. They ended up with a total of 14 cats after the wedding. Well, for the honeymoon, they farmed the kitties out to friends and family to cat sit. My sister was catless at the time, and she got to watch Baby. When the couple came to get Baby, she hid from them! The husband was in tears, because he loved Baby so much. But she had always had behavior problems, and at my sisters house she was just fine.

While it was awful for the original owner, and his new wife to miss Baby, she lived out her life happily with my sister. She was truly loved, and was just in a better place for her. When her original owner came to visit her later, she did happily visit with him.

Every jar has two handles. Sometimes when you pick it up by a different handle, it is easier to carry. Rather than consider yourself having "abandoned" Sashka (which you did not do!), consider her like an adult child...you nurtured her, but she has chosen to move on to a new life now. This does not take away any of the love you have shared, and it will not diminish your love for her, or hers for you. It was simply time for her to move on, and you recognized it.
post #20 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckiboo
Every jar has two handles. Sometimes when you pick it up by a different handle, it is easier to carry. Rather than consider yourself having "abandoned" Sashka (which you did not do!), consider her like an adult child...you nurtured her, but she has chosen to move on to a new life now. This does not take away any of the love you have shared, and it will not diminish your love for her, or hers for you. It was simply time for her to move on, and you recognized it.
Wow what a fantastic way of putting it. Thank you, that really does help, actually!
post #21 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by KitEKats4Eva!
Wow what a fantastic way of putting it. Thank you, that really does help, actually!
The "jar with two handles" part came from a philosophy class about 25 years ago! I think it was Aristotle who said it...I'm sure someone here at TCS will remember. I wasn't too impressed with philosophy over all, but that little saying stuck with me! LOL!

I foster, so have given up many cats who I could easily have kept, if only I had the energy to scoop multiple litterboxes, and they would have fit better with my fur family. Sweet Sugartoes was mine for 7 months, and ruled the roost, putting my kitties in their place as her minions. Now she is happily an only cat. Or dear Sarabi, a shadow kitty who was outside all her life until a good soul brought her too us. She hissed and spit at my cats, striking fear into the heart of Garfield, who is at least an inch taller than her! She even ran off Will once or twice, and he is my big (neutered) tomcat who is outside half the time, protecting his property, which is much more than the measly 4 acres I own!

It is hard to say goodbye, even when you never planned to keep the kitties. It must be so much harder when it is a fur family member. But you will heal, and get over the anger and pain. Be "pathetic and self-indulgent" for a time. It is part of the healing process!
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