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I really wanted a lap cat :(

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
My 16 week old kitten (male neutered one week ago) is really sweet and not terribly shy. He purrs like crazy when you pet him and is always rubbing our legs when we are standing. I just can't get him to sit on me for any length of time. Usually once a day for about 5-10 minutes - that's it. What makes me mad is I will sit or lay on the couch, invite him (tap my belly, call him softly) and he will jump on me, then jump off and sit on the table next to me. It is kind of insulting that he prefers to lay on a cold glass table instead of me.

I spend the better part of the evening after my kids go bed trying to to get this cat to sit on my lap. Picking him up and putting him there never works. My brother took the sister of this cat and he said she will lay on them for an hour sleeping. I kind of feel like my cat is either too hyper for this or feels to vulnerable because of my 4 and 6 year children around.

Two methods I've tried is to only pet him if he lays on me or put a treat on me for him (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't).

Do you think once he gets older he may do it? Like I said, he is not really shy but is "aware" of his surroundings mostly because of my kids.
post #2 of 15
I found with my cats...mother was sweet would always be where ever I was but preferred not to be petted or picked up. Lap sitting was out of the question. Remy her clown child is the complete opposite. From my limited experience *very limited* it seems they all have their own personalities. You can force them . HOwever, there are many knowledgeable people here and perhaps one of them know some tricks don't get discouraged.
post #3 of 15
Thread Starter 
Well as I was surfing TCS, he was sitting in front of the monitor on the desk. After a little snooze, he stepped down onto my lap to enjoy some petting. That lasted about 3 minutes until my husband called me from the other room. The sound of his voice made him jump down.

We have only had him 9 days so hopefully he will calm down a bit and not startle so easily.
post #4 of 15
wow my cat will sit there and cry her head off for hours if you don't pick her up either that or she'll claw your leg trying to climb up there (lol).

I'm not sure what to say besides try and see if its comfort issues? Maybe he just doesn't feel safe and secure in your lap. Try rubbing him and such when he tries to get down just to catch his attention.

Make him want to be in your lap and that its a safe zone.

Hope it helps
post #5 of 15
My oldest loves to cuddle and will lay on me for hours if I let her. And she's quite insistent about when she wants her cuddles too. She will jump up on the shelf of my computer desk and constantly tap me on the leg with her paw until I pick her up.

My youngest can on the other hand (7 years), has always been one to cuddle on her terms only. She will jump up on the bed with me and lay next to me and cuddle. If I'm on the couch she will lay pasted up against me but not on me. Though sometimes when I'm brushing her she will have the front 1/2 of her body on my leg and the back 1/2 on the couch. When I'm at the computer she will jump up and accept a cuddle for a 2 or 3 minutes and then jump down. And she won't let me walk up to her and pick her up. It always has to be on her time. hehe

Some cats are just not lap cats. Just like not all people like to cuddle.

Your kitty loves you. He rubs your leg and purrs and he sits near you and lets you pet him.

Have you got a good brush that you can brush him with? He might sit on you more or beside you if you spend time brushing him. Also, if it's warm the glass probably feels cool to him which is why he likes the glass top.
post #6 of 15
the kitty now is not really big on being on a lap, she perfers to be nexct to me on the chair or on the table of the desk.

every kitty is different, and also jsut cause she is not a lap cat now, does not mean she wont be next year, and or just cause she is lap cat now, does not mean next year she will be.

you can try that when she does sit on your lap give her a treat. give her the idea that something good comes from sitting there.
post #7 of 15
All of my cats were too independant as kittens to be lap cats.
Once they settle into their personalities and out of the full on kitten mode, most start wanting more cuddle time.
Ivory is now 16 months old and has only recently decided that lap time is a good thing.

Since they are individuals though, some cats will always prefer not to be in your lap.
post #8 of 15
None of my boys are really lap cats.... unless they are in the mood to be

Harley is at the age that he enjoys a cuddle or two when its time for him to sleep - but Davidson is just too young yet (9 1/2 weeks) and hyper to cuddle with anyone!
post #9 of 15
I alway's said that to now have 4 that are just that. At some point everyday one of them is either sitting on me standing on me or laying on me Can't even sit at the computer they squeez in where ever they can..Give him time he may turn into one. Mine have a time everyday that they all come to me for there share of love...Boy that's the fun part for sure
post #10 of 15
At only 16 weeks old and new to your home, I think it's much too soon to know what he'll be like later. Don't try to force the issue. Give him a treat when he sits on your lap. When he jumps off, let him go.
post #11 of 15
i found that my cat was much more willing to be a lapster if i did not pet her when she was in my lap. i would wait until she moved in the direction of my hand indicating she wanted her cheeks or ears or neck petted and then i would only do that. her desire to be petted grew slowly and now she will get in my lap, turn over on her back and almost demand tummy rubs with a sweet mew, So... in short: let the cat set the pace, knowing she/he is always in command and they come around quite nicely.
post #12 of 15
For individuals looking for a cat that wants to spend time on your lap...I would recommend getting an adult. At your kitten's young age...it is too soon to tell what his personality will end up like...but there are definately kittens/cats that prefer to be petted and not sit on your lap. It's the whole Nature/Nurture issue...you can perhaps coax him into appreciating time on your lap...but if he truly isn't a lap cat...he probably won't become one.

post #13 of 15
You are lucky you get 5-10 minutes. Neither of my cats are lap cats, and I get 30 seconds at most!
post #14 of 15
At 16 weeks, quite honestly, it's too soon to be able to tell what you're going to end up with personality-wise. Most kittens will be freaky, independent, rather mis-guided creatures until around 9 months to a year...I say this lovingly. They would much rather frolic, play, explore, attack, and chase, then have to put up with a lot of mushy stuff. Think of how you felt when you were 8 or 9, and that elderly female relative who wore too much rouge and tomato-red lipstick pinched your cheeks, and smooched your face. This is what lap-time can be for many kittens. Once they mellow out after several months, they will often be more open to the idea. And some cats are just to independent, and would rather that they decide when the lovin' is to be administered.
post #15 of 15
Sorry but you can't MAKE a cat be what you want them to be. Some breeds have a tendency to be more lap cats then others. Some are always on the go. Some are independent.

If you have a chance to really interact with a litter of kittens, you'd find out who would make the best "lap" cat. But if you don't have that opportunity then its a matter of chance.

Perhaps in the future if you want to adopt another cat, you can search longer for the type of cat you prefer. Otherwise, you'll have to accept your kitty's personality as it is.
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