I'm new, and I need BIG help, please!!

Hi, i'm new to this forum, and I joined because I need serious cat help. Here's my story/problem:

A little more than two years ago, I adopted two tabby kittens (a boy and a girl) and took them into my home. They got along great with my dog (not too well with the chinchillas), and my family loved them. They did cause trouble every now and then, but we put up with it.
This past april, the boy, Kenji, sadly passed away due to a heart condition. My family and I were devistated and shocked, since he was so young and full of life. He was like a child to me. He would sleep with me, cuddle, rub his face against mine. There is no other word to describe him than "mush". That's what he was, a huge mush.
His sister, Aura, followed me around after her brother passed away...she had become more vocal and depressed (we could all tell). She's very intelligent, and I really believe she knows her brother is gone for good.
Since I'm such a pet person, I found two more kittens and adopted them, thinking hopefully Aura would take them in as her own and care for them. They are two boys (Edward and Alphonse), orange tabbies, about 4 months old. We keep them locked up in a bathroom, because Aura isn't fond of them (she hisses and bats at them whenever they come out of the room). We've tried to intergrate them slowly, but it isn't working. Aura continues to hiss and hide when they are around, and they don't learn their lesson and keep approaching her.

We've been experiencing this problem since we got the kittens a little over a month ago...shouldn't the three of them be getting along a little better by now? My "Kittens For Dummies" book says to keep them seperated for a week, and then let them roam together, but they can't do that yet...If they are out, I have to watch them every second of the time, and make sure they stay as far away from each other as possible.

Has anyone experienced this before? Could you maybe help me through this? I would really appreciate it...I'm only 18, and my parents work most of the day....my pets keep me company, and I'd like to solve this problem so we can all live together in harmony.

Thanks for reading,

~Colie

firstly welcome to TCS

this thread has some good advise re: introductions. Have a read of this and see if you have tried it all. It might be a good idea to start again from the beginning and try it all again.

I am going to move this thread to the behaviour forum where you will get alot more advise or do a search for 'introductions' and you will find lots of threads about this.

GOOD LUCK!! we will all help you as much as we can to get harmony in your household

It's going to take longer than a week. It could take a couple of months.
I know you didn't want to here that.

Go to this site. http://www.feralcatbehavior.com Read everything she is doing to introduce her two new additions. Hissy is a member of this catsite and has so much experience and advise to give.

It took Mocha my siamese kitty almost 6 months to become a member in our household. There were so many times I didn't think it was going to happen and I would have to start all over again.
I used Feliway and vanilla to help. The Feliway is expensive and for me the vanilla worked great. I dabbed a bit under the chin and at the base of their tail and backbone. I also would go back over and read everything in the link above given by Huggles just to make sure I was doing everything right.

Is there away you could allow the kittens to share your room with you and give them a little more running room?

Keep us posted on your progress. Don't give up!!

Welcome to TCS!!

Thanks for the welcoming!

Yeah...I realize it's gonna take a long time >< it took a while for my aunt when she got her kitten Elphaba.

I'll use those links you guys sent, thanks a bunch! I'll try the techniques and start from scratch (haha...funny...). Although the kittens don't have AC in the bathroom...cats wouldn't get really overheated would they? they have a small fan and open windows in there...it just worries me sometimes...

Yes, they can overheat - anything above 25C for any length of time can be dangerous. Check on them regulalry in a hot spell and make sure they have lots of water at all times. Wet towels draped around the place help too - as they dry they cool the air.

Well, I have a 12 yr old male and a 2 yr old male (best friends), plus a 14 yr old female (all neutered) who will have nothing to do with either of them - just hisses if they come anywhere near her. They keep trying to bug her (she has a big fluffy tail :-) I think because she's a challenge, but they also can get pretty mean and chase her as if they want to get rid of her for good. I've given up trying to do anything but intervene when I can to keep her safe, and I don't think there's a lot I can do. It seems to be a problem of her 'seniority', of being female (and believing she's a princess), of opportunity - 'because they can' - and I can't make them play together if they don't want to, so I stopped trying long ago. It makes no more sense than to expect every human to want to be actual friends (though it sure would be nice!), and sometimes we just have to accept that they're different.

Sorry I don't have any advice but I was wondering if you named your kitties after Full Metal or not. Since Edward and Alphonse are the main characters

Love your cats names first of all.

As far as them not getting along, first of all are they all spayed or neutered? If not that can be adding to the problems.

Secondly, are they just hissing and swatting at each other or are they making a flying leap and attcking with blood and everything at each other?


If they just hiss and swat and growl but keep their distance other then an occational sniff (followed by more hissing and growling of course) then let them go and do that, they will also need to determine who is alpha between them, it isn't something you can tell them.

As long as no blood is being drawn, then they are fine. I would let them go and interact when you are around. Don't intervene unless one goes flying at the other AND is drawing blood. This is now they determine status but blood should not be drawn. If you are worried then have a big blanket ready to throw over them.

I have to agree with Jen; let them interact, under your watchful eye. They will get used to each other; they might not like each other, but they will learn to live together. I once had 2 cats who never learned to get along; they tolerated each other, but that was it. You can't force sweet Aura to care for your kitties just because you want her to.
Kittens need more room to play than just a bathroom. Please consider letting the roam, as long as Aura isn't determined to hurt them.
Best of luck with your little cat family.

Originally Posted by Beatrix426

Sorry I don't have any advice but I was wondering if you named your kitties after Full Metal or not. Since Edward and Alphonse are the main characters

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Yes, my kittens are named after Edward and Alphonse Elric from Full Metal Alchemist. Are you a fan? I'm a huge anime fan, and so, I named them after the characters from my favorite anime ^^'

Aura is of course still hissing at them...poor babies...they're getting too big to be locked up in a bathroom all day...i'm going to let them run later, and watch them. I actually doubt Aura would swat at them or hurt them.

Yeah, like others have mentioned, don't hesitate to let them interact under your supervision. They will puff, hiss, growl, swat, and even wrestle but that's all normal and acceptable. You may even hear a few little yips as they all figure out how much they can get away with. You should be able to tell if their fighting is getting out of hand and then you can toss a blanket on them to break it up. Don't shout at them or try to intervine by hand or you could end up escalating the fight or redirecting their attacks to your hands/arms. No matter how long keep them seperated, you'll still have to go through this part to move forward.

My newest kitten and my 3 year old resident cat are finally starting to get along now after 3 weeks. Initially I had a kitten that would hiss and growl at my older cat. That went on for a few days and and then he ignored her for a while. After another couple days he realized that he could play with her. At that point she decided he was to hyper and would growl and swat him when he got too close. Another week of them avoiding each other and now they will occasionally snuggle and groom each other. Other times they will chase each other all over the house for about 30 minutes.

Each introduction will be a little different but they all have similar stages. You've done plenty at stage one, so time to start working on stage 2. Good luck.

Hope you are still checking up here......One mistake you might have made is bringing in 2 kittens, they may tend to bond with each other and not fill the void Aura is feeling. Loosing a family member is hard, then trying to take in not 1 but 2 new kits that more easily relate with each other into her domain probably feels like punishment or infliction.
I would definitely keep them seperate for as long as it takes, but most importantly constant reasurance that Aura comes first..talking to her, give attention over the kittens and infront of them, literally think what would make you feel OK about the situation if you were Aura with limited communication to express how you feel............believe me, cats are to smart!!!
Feed a dog and they think "oh my, you must be a god!"
Feed a cat and they think " oh my, I must be a god"

You can use the bond that the kittens have with each other to sucker Aura into the mix. If the kittens focus their play with each other, eventually Aura is going to want to join into the fun. But she might still be grieving for her brother and isn't ready to have fun yet. I had a cat grieve for about 18 months after losing his brother - they all work thru grief on their own schedule. Some just take longer than others.

If you had asked me what to do about Aura to bring her out of her shell after her brother died, I would have suggested adopting a pair of kittens. You are on the right track. Just have patience for a while and it will work out. Aura is young enough to adapt when she is good and ready to.

Originally Posted by Momofmany

You can use the bond that the kittens have with each other to sucker Aura into the mix. If the kittens focus their play with each other, eventually Aura is going to want to join into the fun. But she might still be grieving for her brother and isn't ready to have fun yet. I had a cat grieve for about 18 months after losing his brother - they all work thru grief on their own schedule. Some just take longer than others.

If you had asked me what to do about Aura to bring her out of her shell after her brother died, I would have suggested adopting a pair of kittens. You are on the right track. Just have patience for a while and it will work out. Aura is young enough to adapt when she is good and ready to.

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It just may take a bit more patience and time...........

Originally Posted by AurasMommy

Yes, my kittens are named after Edward and Alphonse Elric from Full Metal Alchemist. Are you a fan? I'm a huge anime fan, and so, I named them after the characters from my favorite anime ^^'

Aura is of course still hissing at them...poor babies...they're getting too big to be locked up in a bathroom all day...i'm going to let them run later, and watch them. I actually doubt Aura would swat at them or hurt them.

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Yep I watch it whenever I can remember it's on along with Inuyasha. Those are my two fav shows I'm just kind of sad that Full Metal is over. It was so short..I think only like two seasons.