How much more can she take??

I'm so upset right now... I just called my best friend and she told me that over the weekend while on vacation her mother had a stroke and is in a coma... She's in a hospital in Central Jersey and my friend, her husband and her daughter are staying in a nearby hotel... I don't know what to say to her... I'm trying to be positive but it's so hard to do...

and the worst part of all this is that my best friends brother passed away 2 weeks ago... so, it's like a nightmare... She's still grieving for her brother and now her mother might be dying... I wish I knew what to say or do for her... but I feel like nothing will help...

the last couple months have been filled with sicknesses and deaths... First, my uncle had a stroke and he's paralyzed on his left side.. then, my aunt passed away from cancer... then, Jerry passed away... and now, Mommy... I feel like I'm losing my own mother because Rita has always been like a mother to me... Michelle and I have been friends since we were 8 years old so we've always been close... but I'm not worried about me... I'm worried about Michelle...

It's so weird, too... The last time I spoke to Rita she told me not to be a stranger because I hadnt seen them in 3 years because Michelle and I had gotten into an argument 3 years ago and stopped talking.. then she told me that she was glad that Michelle and I had found each other again because there was a reason God brought us back together... He knew she'd need me... but, I'm at such a loss for what to do or say... what help can I be??

just be there for her. I am sorry your friend is going through this. Please give her my condolenses. she and her family will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time as you will.

Originally Posted by Malakai711

It's so weird, too... The last time I spoke to Rita she told me not to be a stranger because I hadnt seen them in 3 years because Michelle and I had gotten into an argument 3 years ago and stopped talking.. then she told me that she was glad that Michelle and I had found each other again because there was a reason God brought us back together... He knew she'd need me... but, I'm at such a loss for what to do or say... what help can I be??

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Tell Michelle that. And let her know you are at a loss, but will do anything possible to help her through this difficult time.

What a good thing that you reconciled with michelle before all this happened. Poor Rita, the loss of her son must have too much to bear. And poor Michelle is left behind to cope. Please keep us posted. meanwhile, {{{prayers and vibes}}} being sent to you all.

I think Beckiboo is right. You should tell her what her mother said.
Sometimes just being there is good enough. When someone I care for has a crisis, and I feel at a loss to help, I will tell them," I don't know what to do to help you right now, but if there is anything I can do to make your life easier, please let me know." It leaves the door open for someone to ask for help. Often is is something as simple as picking up a forgotten item at the store, petsitting, or answering my phone at 3 a.m. when they can't sleep and need to talk.
I hope things get better for her and her family.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers everyone... we're gonna need it right now... I told Mish last night that I was at a loss for words because words dont really help right now... but to let me know if she needs anything... it's just hard to physically be there for her right now because they are stuck in NJ... if I had my car, I'd be out there in a second... but I dont... and I can't take time off of work either... but she's not expecting that... as long as we all pray, there isnt much else we can do...

The good news is... altho, Rita is still in a coma.. she's responding... whenever Michelle asks her to squeeze her hand, she does.. and last night, Michelle said to her "ma, Daddy's pissin me off... give him the finger...' and Rita gave him the finger... lol... only Rita!! she's the only woman I know that would give the finger while in a coma!! lol I love her... I just hope this means that she's going to come out of this...

I had to chuckle about the finger part of the post. Good for you, Rita - may the angels be near with you in this unusual journey, whereever it is taking you. Liza, you are such a good friend Just checking routinely is going to help Michelle tremendously; even if it's just leaving voicemails. You could offer to send notifications to Rita's family & friends, such as cousins, etc, whoever the immediate family would like informed. I've been in these kinds of crisis situations too many times, and always have had regrets about not telling someone sooner, but at the time, there is so much chaos, and so little time, no phone nearby, no address book handy, etc.
Hang in there & please keep us posted. Meanwhile, more {{{prayers and vibes}}} headed your way Susan