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No longer sleeps on bed

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Okay, so this is a weird problem hopefully you all can help me get to the bottom of. Just to condense the background story of my cat and I:

Zissou was found by a friend and came here at about 2 and a half months old. Once her various parasites had been taken care of, and she trusted us (took about two weeks) she began sleeping either in my or my roommate's bed. Usually mine, I would go to bed first and as soon as I went she would jump in with me. When she was spayed, she quit sleeping on my bed until she was all healed, and then went back to sporadically sleeping on the foot of the bed, whereas before she slept snuggled in my arm or on my lap or whatever.
Now, the month before she was spayed she stayed with my sister over winter break, as I went to visit my parents and then to New Mexico and Arizona. So I was gone for awhile. My sisters other two cats sleep on the bed, but she would play attack them all night, and thus my sister and her husband didn't let her on the bed at night. When I got back (I sort-of live in her attic) she slept on my bed right away, under the covers and everything. When we got back home, she slept on the bed, but then after the spay she stopped.
About a month after the spay, she started sort-of sleeping on the bed, less and less. She would come and go whenever, but I had no problem with that.
Now, she sleeps in my room but never on the bed, usually on my computer chair (she's wholly my cat now, pretty much ignores my roommate). When I wake up, she will jump on the nightstand and tentatively get up on the bed and then run right back off, almost like she is scared of being on the bed. She will fall asleep on the bed if I am awake watching tv or whatever, and then leaves when I fall to sleep.
Okay, so it is a twin bed. I am afraid maybe I hurt her or something in my sleep, but when that happens (like if I step on her in the dark- happened once ) she forgives by the next day. But also she used to sleep on it all the time during the day too, and now won't. Her favorite blanket is on it, too. I did change the sheets from purple/blue/green plaid to white. Same detergent, same place, though.

Any ideas? I greatly appreciate if anyone has really taken the time to go through this, I tried to answer as many questions as I could think of. Thanks!
post #2 of 23
I don't know. Pudge is an off-and-on bed sleeper too. One week she will, then she won't for the next week, then she sleeps in the bed one day and under it for the rest of the week, then it's back to sleeping in the bed. She's just a bit finicky, I think. Once she warmed up to us during kittenhood she used to sleep wih us a lot, but post-spay she stopped doing it regularly as well.
post #3 of 23
Actually, cats do change their routines. (Maybe varying the nest?)

In my experience, some cats do this more than others. Molly will almost always sleep on the bed, Sláine does not share the bed except for daytime naps, Bobby varies his sleep routine pretty regularly - sometime the bed, sometimes the floor next to BF's side, sometimes my dressing room.

I don't think that the sheets are a factor (not colour at least - is the material/texture very different?) but have you tried switching them back for a week or so?

I will keep thinking. Those are my first thoughts.
post #4 of 23
Thread Starter 
Well, it's more than just a week or two, it's been at least a month since she would really sleep on the bed.

I hope it's not because of the spay! I don't think it is She isn't any less affectionate any other time, just sleeping time.

The sheets are still cotton percale. Almost identical except for the color. I should try switching them back I guess, but her favorite blanket is on the foot and she always kneads at it and everything. I did have a comforter she didn't like in winter, but I stopped using it because I figured out she hated it.

She went from the bed, to under the bed, to the computer chair, and has slept on that chair every night. When I wake up, she'll wake up and trill at me from the chair. I don't get it.

It seems sometimes like she wants to sleep on the bed but is scared or doesn't like something about it. She will sit right below on the floor looking up at me and then run away.
post #5 of 23
I guess try making up the bed the old way.

I'm not sure about her behaviour - the first post says that "She will fall asleep on the bed if I am awake watching tv or whatever, and then leaves when I fall to sleep" so I'm not sure that she is frightened of the bed, exactly.
post #6 of 23
Oh, another thought - maybe leave the plaid sheets on the bed of a day or so longer than you usually would so it really seems to smell like you?

I know, I know. All I can say is lie back and think of Zissou.
post #7 of 23
Thread Starter 
Satai, first I just noticed your sig and I must say I LOVE Neil Gaiman, and I love the Sandman series. I have Death: The High Cost of Living, The Dream Hunters, and Endless Nights, plus almost every novel he's ever written. OMG! How cool! I only know a couple people who have even heard of it!

Okay, anyway.

So is she afraid of me sleeping? That would make me sad.

Any ideas on how to convince her not to hate sleeping on the bed? I in no way am going to force her or anything, but I've thought about some sort of catnip or perhaps giving her treats on the bed so she likes it again. I'm certainly not about to punish her for not doing it of course, just maybe coax her back into it?

Do you guys things I smushed her in my sleep? Be honest, I've been worried about it.
post #8 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom
Satai, first I just noticed your sig and I must say I LOVE Neil Gaiman, and I love the Sandman series. I have Death: The High Cost of Living, The Dream Hunters, and Endless Nights, plus almost every novel he's ever written. OMG! How cool! I only know a couple people who have even heard of it!

Okay, anyway.

So is she afraid of me sleeping? That would make me sad.

Any ideas on how to convince her not to hate sleeping on the bed? I in no way am going to force her or anything, but I've thought about some sort of catnip or perhaps giving her treats on the bed so she likes it again. I'm certainly not about to punish her for not doing it of course, just maybe coax her back into it?

Do you guys things I smushed her in my sleep? Be honest, I've been worried about it.
No, I don't think you smushed her. I'm certain it's something else, actually.

If you ever want to have a nerdy Sandman chat, feel free to PM me, I'm right there!

I'm not sure that's she's afraid of you sleeping, though it just might not be really comfotable for her. Do you toss and turn a lot? My cats adore BF and love sleeping near him - but not too near, because he disturbs their beauty sleep.

Have you tried pushing your computer chair nearer to the bed? I leave a basket near BF so that Sláine can sleep near her purrpaw when she wants to, without having to get on the bed.

You may have to move it gradually, or she might not mind it moving all at once.
post #9 of 23
I'm glad you asked this because my kitten has started sleeping around. When he was small he always always always slept very close to me (although not snuggled up). We went on vacation which changed his routine big time and I understand he was sleeping near the door then. Afterwards started sleeping near me but now it's a free for all--sometimes near me, sometimes in a random spot in the living room, sometimes curled up near one of the kids. In his case I thought it was partly because his routine and bonding was so disturbed when we were gone and partly because he's far more aware of the kids whereas when he was tiny he mostly saw me as a primary caretaker.

In the middle of the day today we found him sacked out in a frying pan on the kitchen table. Yikes!
post #10 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom
She went from the bed, to under the bed, to the computer chair, and has slept on that chair every night. When I wake up, she'll wake up and trill at me from the chair. I don't get it.

It seems sometimes like she wants to sleep on the bed but is scared or doesn't like something about it. She will sit right below on the floor looking up at me and then run away.
This sounds a lot like Sláine when she is in the mood for a game of chase.

Can you play madly with her for a while before bed? She might just have her clock set differently to yours.
post #11 of 23
I discovered that in the winter that cats will sleep with me for body heat, but in the summer, they sleep where they damn well please. Is it getting hot where you are?
post #12 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom
Satai, first I just noticed your sig and I must say I LOVE Neil Gaiman, and I love the Sandman series. I have Death: The High Cost of Living, The Dream Hunters, and Endless Nights, plus almost every novel he's ever written. OMG! How cool! I only know a couple people who have even heard of it!

I love the Sandman Series as well. I used to have all of the books, but had to part with them during a move. I plan to restart my collection somedsy. I saw that someone had a Sandman sig, but I didn't remember the person's name.
post #13 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by CommonOddity042
I love the Sandman Series as well. I used to have all of the books, but had to part with them during a move. I plan to restart my collection somedsy. I saw that someone had a Sandman sig, but I didn't remember the person's name.
Well, once we get Zissou back on the bed, we should start a club.

ETA:

the dreams of (a thousand) cats?
post #14 of 23
Ok, I've got to head to bed - I will try to think of more things to try.

Let us know how it goes with Zissou.

I will see you all (sooner or later)



Sometime tomorow.
post #15 of 23
Thread Starter 
Well, same thing as always. I went to bed and she came in and plonked down on the chair and slept there til morning. It is 93 here today, but the a/c is running and she sleeps right in the draft. She is staring at me right now because she wants in my roommates room but the door's shut hehehe.

I have moved the chair over by the bed, and then she sleeps in it right next to me. I am a tossy-turner but it never bothered her before, usually I'd wake up and move her and then fall back to sleep.

During the day I've found her all over the place, including inside the fridge and under the stove, behind the tv, and in her litterbox. She never sleeps in her "night spot" though, at any other time. Perhaps I should clear off my nightstand and see if she'll like it there.

I wasn't clear enough on this: she went from always sleeping on the bed, and then she started sleeping under the bed, and now she sleeps on the chair. I do play with her in the evenings usually. She comes to sleep with me, so I don't think it's a need-to-wear-her-out prob.

I think I will start hiding toys on the bed in the daytime.

Who knows, maybe she just isn't a bed sleeper. But I'm going to try.


Oh, and yes, Neil Gaiman club, for sure. I'm starting a thread in the Lounge right now about it.
post #16 of 23
She might be developing a new routine that has absolutely nothing to do with the spay or how "peaceful" a sleeper you are. As a small kitten, Jamie slept on top of me all the time, but was finally convinced at about 4 or 5 months that it was more comfortable at the foot of the bed on or under his "blankie". At about 6 - 7 months, he started his "6-week cycles", meaning he would sleep on my side of the bed for about that period of time, switch to my husband's side, then move into the spare bedroom. He's still doing that at age seven. I've always assumed that some protective feline instinct drives them to "change dens" regularly, as mother cats will move their litters in this manner.
post #17 of 23
sometimes my cat will sleep with me sometimes not I sleep during the day and work nights. However i have noticed that the days she does not sleep with me, she will bring her one toy and drop it in the bed then leave the room like saying she does not want me to be alone? hehe at frist she slept with me all the time, now, it seems like when she feels like it. She will never sleep with my wife, wont even go into the bed room at night with her.

Zissou will get in bed , when he is ready
post #18 of 23
How is Zissou's routine now?
post #19 of 23
Thread Starter 
I cleared off my night table and put Zissou's bed on it. It is now her favorite spot ever, she had quit using it where it was, and now she sleeps on the night table all the time. Sometimes while I'm asleep she jumps back and forth from her bed and the chair, which is quite a feat because the chair starts spinning around when she lands

So I guess it's a compromise. I cleaned the sheets again, put the old ones back, invited her up, tried putting treats on the bed, no luck. But she now sleeps within arm's reach of me, so I guess we've reached our stalemate/compromise.

Unless anybody has any other ideas. I think she might just not feel like it anymore as has been suggested. I like "changing the nest" that's a cute way to say it.

I had been meaning to update this thread but if it's not on the first page I never see it. You know, out of sight, out of mind.
post #20 of 23
Both of our cats rotating their sleeping spots regularly. Right now I know the heat has a lot to do with where they choose. I don't take it personally. I know they'll be back to snuggle in the future.
post #21 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom
I cleared off my night table and put Zissou's bed on it. It is now her favorite spot ever, she had quit using it where it was, and now she sleeps on the night table all the time. Sometimes while I'm asleep she jumps back and forth from her bed and the chair, which is quite a feat because the chair starts spinning around when she lands

So I guess it's a compromise. I cleaned the sheets again, put the old ones back, invited her up, tried putting treats on the bed, no luck. But she now sleeps within arm's reach of me, so I guess we've reached our stalemate/compromise.

Unless anybody has any other ideas. I think she might just not feel like it anymore as has been suggested. I like "changing the nest" that's a cute way to say it.

I had been meaning to update this thread but if it's not on the first page I never see it. You know, out of sight, out of mind.
I will keep thinking - how often do you change your sheets?
post #22 of 23
Thread Starter 
Oh. Not very often. I never was the type to wash my sheets every week. That never really affected it before though, she likes dirty things.

I don't take it totally personally that she won't sleep on the bed. It just bothers me that she seems scared by it. It's for totally selfish reasons that I want her to sleep with me! I know that, and I'm not forcing the issue. I'm just trying to encourage her.
post #23 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom
Oh. Not very often. I never was the type to wash my sheets every week. That never really affected it before though, she likes dirty things.

I don't take it totally personally that she won't sleep on the bed. It just bothers me that she seems scared by it. It's for totally selfish reasons that I want her to sleep with me! I know that, and I'm not forcing the issue. I'm just trying to encourage her.
No, that's ok - I though maybe it didn't smell enough like you actually. Mine love our bed clean, dirty and in between so it's hard to know what they really want.
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