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Maybe I am not meant to be a furmom :(

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
Hi Guys-


I really am not this whiney and annoying I need some support or "tough love" regarding my Nuerosis..I am not usually like this and do not tell everyone about my problems beacuse I know everyone has their own and I have no right to complain but I just want what is best for Sebastian.

I was so excited about my new kitten coming home next week and still am but now Sebastian has peed twice in my room on my rug. He did it about a month ago because i accidentally locked him in there. The first time i cleaned it I did not do it right and he peed again. SO I bought some Natures Miracle and used that. All seemed fine until this morning. He was not locked in my room. I went in to get my laundry and stepped in a wet spot. I looked down and there were 2 spots. Perfectly round and definately pee. I cleaned them up again with the Natures Miracle and closed the door till they dry. But now I am starting to freak out again!! I will call the vet on Monday but do not think that it is a UTI because I cleaned his box when I first got up this morning and he has already peed and pooped in it...

I think maybe i am not meant to be a mom to anyone not even furbabies if it freaks me out this much. I am not sure if I can handle one cat with a litter box issue let alone 2! What if the baby comes in and smells where Sebastian has gone and does the same thing??? I just spent the last hour frantically cleaning my house to remove all pet hair and possible odor from him peeing.

I feel like I may have taken on more than I can handle and 2 cats may not be a good idea and maybe I am not even a good enough mom for Sebastian. I have a feeling he is peeing because he is acting out.

What if the baby comes in and smells where Sebastian has gone and does the same thing???

I was not here alot last week and I think he was mad at me.

I have to be completely honest on an average week I work about 48 hrs and sometimes 6 days a week. Throughout certain seasons I work anywhere from 50-65 hrs a week.. Last week I worked 55 hrs. In my business this can not be helped and I live alone. Is that to much working to have 1 cat let alone 2??

I always thought cats were independant and easy to care for unlike a dog and that is why I orignally got Sebastian. But i soon realized he needs me much more than that. I thought getting a second cat would help him with his loneliness but I am thinking I could end up with 2 bored and lonely cats who are acting out. I just do not want to make a huge mistake and not give them a loving home.

I know this overreaction is triggered by my Anxiety Disorder but unfortunately even though it is being treated it does not completely go away and it triggers my OCD and fear of change.

The only reason I am posting this is I seem to overreact to a lot of situations and can not put things in perspective so I need someone to do that for me. I love Sebastian so much and sometimes I look at him and all I do is smile. But maybe I am not the best person to be a mom for him or any other kitty for that matter with all me craziness.

Thanks
post #2 of 14
I don't really know what could be up with him with the peeing. Is he neutered? I had a male cat once that marked his territory in the house even AFTER he was neutered. It was very frustrating (and smelly), but after a while he just stopped.

As far as being a bad mom for him I'm sure you're not. It sounds like you love him VERY much. I mean, look how concerned you are! Enough to write this post. And you're definitely doing the right thing in getting Sebastian a friend since you're gone so much. It may take a bit for them to adjust to each other, so don't get disconcerted right away, but soon I think you will see two happy kitties.

Good luck!
post #3 of 14
Thread Starter 
forgot to post an important detail...yes he is neutured and has been since before I got him. This is the 1st time i have had pee issues with him in two years.
post #4 of 14
If this is the first time you have had probs with him, I would still be tempted to get him tested for cystitis, when Tom has a flare up, he doesn't abandon the tray altogether - one time, he went in the litter tray for a poo, then came and stood on the bed and peed up the curtains (what a wonderful way to be woken up), and getting a sample out of him was a nightmare, as he would rather jump on the sofa to use the normal tray than the one with the special litter in it!!
post #5 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crys12065
Hi Guys-

But now I am starting to freak out again!! I will call the vet on Monday but do not think that it is a UTI because I cleaned his box when I first got up this morning and he has already peed and pooped in it...

I think maybe i am not meant to be a mom to anyone not even furbabies if it freaks me out this much.

I feel like I may have taken on more than I can handle and 2 cats may not be a good idea and maybe I am not even a good enough mom for Sebastian. I have a feeling he is peeing because he is acting out.

What if the baby comes in and smells where Sebastian has gone and does the same thing???

I know this overreaction is triggered by my Anxiety Disorder but unfortunately even though it is being treated it does not completely go away and it triggers my OCD and fear of change.

The only reason I am posting this is I seem to overreact to a lot of situations and can not put things in perspective so I need someone to do that for me. I love Sebastian so much and sometimes I look at him and all I do is smile. But maybe I am not the best person to be a mom for him or any other kitty for that matter with all me craziness.

Thanks
So sorry for your own personal issues - gotta be terrible to have those feelings!

Maybe your cat is picking up your emotions, and he's acting out in "Cat Behavior" and mimicking you by doing this?

Breathe - don't ask for more problems - are you acting out in ?fear?.... words are important -for you AND for him -- speak, out loud, positive things and don't let the "fear" of something happening overcome you, -- you can do it - you have the will. Just think of all the wasted energy when you fear something will happen, and it never does.

Give Sebastian big hugs, wonderful cuddles, tell him that he's precious - you know what I mean, eh?

Our cat knows when we're in pain and tries to comfort us - maybe Sebastian "feels" your emotions, hears your words, and he needs the comfort himself - especially if he hears that you're trying to get rid of him (I hope he's not hearing that) ?

And, by all means - take him to the vet and make sure he's OK physically.

Now - I'm old fashion - but is white vinegar a problem to use to clean up the pee? It doesn't smell so good, but it does neutralize the pee acid. I keep gallons around for all sorts of cleaning things like this.

Be encouraged - breathe - and take one day at a time, or, even if necessary, one moment at a time - don't ask for problems, and by the way, try to find a way to laugh - I understand laughing has great health benefits.

I hopes this helps, even just a little.
Gloria
post #6 of 14
Thread Starter 
I just want to make something clear - I am NOT trying to get rid of my baby...He Knows I love him because I try to cuddle him all the time and he gives me that look like "Mom leave me alone already!!! LOL.

I was just having a freak out moment that happens with me and I am calmer now...though not totally!

I am calling the vet on Monday to rule out a medical problem. I will try to clean the area with something else besides what I have been using. For now I will wait until the other area dries and see what happens.

I am going to take a deep breath and breathe and try not to overreact.

Thanks for the feedback guys.
post #7 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crys12065
I am calling the vet on Monday to rule out a medical problem. I will try to clean the area with something else besides what I have been using. For now I will wait until the other area dries and see what happens.
Just by saying (and doing) that you're calling the vet makes you a GREAT furmom. There are plenty of other people out there that ride it out, thinking they can't afford the bill and/or the time off from work. Then they "hope" the problem goes away (which it may appear to but could get worse internally).

So good for you! Taking responsibility and knowing when to react is the #1 thing in being any kind of mom (IMO)
post #8 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crys12065
I just want to make something clear - I am NOT trying to get rid of my baby...He Knows I love him because I try to cuddle him all the time and he gives me that look like "Mom leave me alone already!!! LOL.

I was just having a freak out moment that happens with me and I am calmer now...though not totally!

I am calling the vet on Monday to rule out a medical problem. I will try to clean the area with something else besides what I have been using. For now I will wait until the other area dries and see what happens.

I am going to take a deep breath and breathe and try not to overreact.

Thanks for the feedback guys.
Great!


I can hear the deep breathing now.
Gloria
post #9 of 14
Peeing outside the litter box is often a sign of a urinary tract infection. It's good that you are having your kitty checked by the vet.
post #10 of 14
I have the similar problem with my cats, the problem is that once a cat goes pee in an area, it is very hard to stop the habit because when cat smell that their "terriory smell" is fading, they will do it again, to mark their terriory. So basically it means that once a cat starts peeing due to behaviour problem or just want to mark their terriory, they are more likely to do it again as you try to clean it up. Sometime it is health reason, so its a good idea to check with the vet, in case something is wrong with the cats, but try to find something that will remove the smell completely. One of my cat, Milly always does that since she was little, its a nightmare because she peed everywhere, mostly my bed, but now she doesnt pee on my bed as much anymore, anyway the house has no more carpet anymore, it all have been taken up, and put down hardware floor instead, and it improved alot, the cats don't pee around the house now, but now they have a target for a chair.. Luckly its an old chair, but soon we will be getting new chairs and sofa for the living room, then start from there. I don;t mean u have to tear up your whole house to stop ur precious from peeing..

Good luck, and hope that u can find a solution..
post #11 of 14
Ok, you're actually doing fine!

I agree with you and the other posters that it deserves a trip to the vet.

It is possible that it is a sign of stress - maybe buy a feliway plugin.

Also, if part of the stress is your long hours, then a buddy is a good solution.

Good luck, and hang in there.
post #12 of 14
Yes, you're an excellent furmeowmy. Don't question your abilities, as you clearly love your kitties.

A trip to the vet may reveal your problems.

Also, try some Feliway plug-ins...they're available at Petsmart, and Petco.
post #13 of 14
You're a great furmom! Tiger is a yr and half old and does this at times. He's neutured and feels the need sometimes that my dirty laundry isn't dirty enough and will flick his little bottom and spray. Just today I went to do the laundry (that's been sitting there a couple days ) and there was a blanket I needed to wash. I picked it up and could smell where he sprayed. He just looked at me as to say "WHAT?! It needed to be washed anyways!" But he seems to only do it around the time of my "montly visitor"... Maybe it's the horomones? Lord knows Jake (the dog) loves my underwear, clean or dirty so I guess Tiger figures it's his duty to spray them! Just because they are nuetured it doesn't mean they lose "all" sexuality traits... at least thats what the vet told me when I asked why he only did it at that time of month.... maybe thats why Sebastian is doing it?
post #14 of 14
If it is a behavioural thing and he's getting bored from not having you home, a second kitty will help a lot to keep him company.

Even if this is not the reason for it, I'm sure he will enjoy having a friend when you're at work.

Relax, you sound like a good mum
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