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Is this a completely crazy idea??

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
Okay... I've gotten so frusterated with wedding planning.... everyone wants to have their input and their ideas considered... and some people are being really negative about the whole thing.

See, it's really important to fh to not have alcohol at our wedding. Comments I've gotten from everyone else are something like, "Well, you'll have a short reception," and "People expect it, it's kind of rude not to provide it."

Anyway... what if...

...We went to Port Townsend, WA, and either got married in Chetzemoka Park in the morning, or on a Whale Watching ride in the afternoon.... came back and ate Thai food and then went to Fort Worden for partying??

We could rent Madrona Vista (a building there) and a dormitory wing (has private rooms) for people to stay in (it would be cheaper than a hotel) and could dance and party on the "inviting back deck" and "two dining room/large gathering areas." My Uncle lives in the area, and I'm sure he could hook us up with a live band that could come and play for a few hours.

If it's raining, we could do the ceremony at Fort Worden in the evening.... and the group would be fairly small... so just completely changing that part of the plan in the middle of the day due to weather wouldn't be too difficult.

I completely shocked my Fh last night presenting this idea... I think it would be fun! And so different no one would be expecting anything. If they wanted a drink, they could get it at the Thai resturant on their own tab (We would pay for non-alcoholic drinks) and no one could get too drunk cause they'd have a only a short time for drinking.... or if we ended up needing to feed everyone at Ft. Worden, the serving of alcohol has to be approved, which we wouldn't look for.

On top of that, we'd get to spend the whole day with our guests (esp. the ones we don't see often) instead of just a few hours at the reception.
post #2 of 24
I think that sounds like fun!!

It totally sucks that its YOUR wedding and people are questioning what you want at your own wedding..Tell those people to back off and get their own wedding
post #3 of 24
I understand the whole alcohol thing! That sounds like a perfect compromise though!
post #4 of 24
That's right, It's your wedding, you do it your way. If you don't want booze, then don't serve it. I'm sure they will get over it for the day for goodness sakes.
I didn't serve it at mine, but my reception was in a hall that was connected to a bar so the ones that wanted beer or what not, went over there and bought it them selves. I had a buffet type of dinner for my guests, the drinks were punch and the champagne for the toast that was all.
post #5 of 24
Your new plan does sound like fun! The only obstacle would be, if everything is kinda up in the air, how do you pin down a photographer, etc? I know you can't book them for the entire day, the usually can do 2 weddings in 1 day... but make sure you do things "your way" this will be the only day ever that you get to have everything the way you want it! And it goes by fast...
post #6 of 24
I think that sounds like a great day! Frankly, people who tell you that your reception will be shorter if there is no alcohol are being insulting. The next time someone says that to you, you should say, "I didn't realize people were coming to my wedding just for the free booze--I thought it was because they cared about us and wanted to share our day." You are hardly alone though. I've heard people say before, oh no, you HAVE to have alchohol at the wedding, but the fact is, it's your wedding, so you don't HAVE to do anything. I've been to "dry" weddings, and I certainly wasn't sitting there thinking, "gee, this would be so much better if I could only get smashed." If there's alcohol at a wedding, I drink, and if there isn't, I don't, but it doesn't change how good of a time I have, or how happy I am for the couple. (Actually, if there's no alcohol, I know I won't wake up hungover the next day, which is always a plus )

Anyway, regardless of all that, the day you are describing sounds fabulous for you and for your guests, with or without alcohol.
post #7 of 24
Thread Starter 
Thanks! I'm glad no one thinks I'm crazy. FH is a little worried about me... he just wants me to not regret anything and so far I've been on this elegance/fantasy themed wedding that's more traditional in terms of agenda...

I was thinking for the photographer, if we just got married at the park in the morning we could just ask them to come for a couple of hours for formal pictures and the ceremony. Everyone we know takes lots of photos, so I wouldn't be worried about pictures of the rest of the day. It would be difficult if it was raining though. Thanks for bringing that up!
post #8 of 24
I think it's a great idea!

Let the restaurant monitor their drinking (if they drink at all).
post #9 of 24
You only marry once. It is your day. If you want uber traditional, go for it. If you want to marry in a park and have dinner at a restaurant, go for it. I considered getting married in a hot air balloon, just me, dh, my two kids, and the witnesses. But decided to go more traditional.

I have several friends who had extremely fancy weddings. They were so anxious, they really didn't have fun at their own party! I was married in a park, and had our reception there. It did rain, but we had a building reserved. Very casual, and quite lovely. And I really enjoyed the party!
post #10 of 24
As far as the photographer, you could hire a professional for pictures AT the wedding site. To take before, after and during ceremony pictures.

Then you could give each of your guests a disposable camera once you get to where you are going to eat, and they can have that for the evening to take pictures of the entire "party" Those shots are always A LOT of fun. You get to see everyone and everything. Something you will not see a lot of if you have a big, reception, no matter how you decide to do your reception.

At the end of the evening, everyone will put their camera in a box or bag on their way out to their car.

Instead of paying for a photographer ALL DAY, you just pay for developing of the disposable cameras. Depending on the size of your party, you could give one camera to each family. Or one camera to each person, or one or two cameras to each table.
post #11 of 24
I had people saying the same thing about the fact that we didn't want to serve alcohol at our wedding. We did it for several reasons, one of which was the fact that his dad is basically a bit of an alcoholic (not a mean drunk, mind you...just difficult to understand), and we didn't want to encourage him.

Let us know how things turn out!
post #12 of 24
It is your day, it should be how you want it and to anyone that says differently. I think it is really pretty nervy of people to say such things. I have always had more fun at weddings that served little or no alcohol.
I think your plan sounds like a blast! I would rather attend a more casual wedding where the bride and groom can have fun on their big day, than some fancy, stuffy wedding where you can tell that everyone involved has been at each other's throats over every little detail.
Anyone that is unhappy with the arrangements can just stay home.
I hope your day is beautiful, full of sunshine and happiness.
post #13 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by maherwoman
I had people saying the same thing about the fact that we didn't want to serve alcohol at our wedding. We did it for several reasons, one of which was the fact that his dad is basically a bit of an alcoholic (not a mean drunk, mind you...just difficult to understand), and we didn't want to encourage him.

Let us know how things turn out!
We don't want to serve alcohol for basically the same reason. Fh's dad is a really difficult alcoholic. In addition, I have a couple of family members who can get rather, um, out of control if they've had too much to drink. They don't ruin anything, it's just more loud and obnoxious and sometimes very very rude.

So here's a bigger question: (ha ha) If I got a tea length wedding dress, nothing ornate, just fairly simple, would you wear it the whole day? Or change after the ceremony to go on the boat and then change back for dinner and the party after? (The silly things that occupy my mind.)
post #14 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaleetha
We don't want to serve alcohol for basically the same reason. Fh's dad is a really difficult alcoholic. In addition, I have a couple of family members who can get rather, um, out of control if they've had too much to drink. They don't ruin anything, it's just more loud and obnoxious and sometimes very very rude.

So here's a bigger question: (ha ha) If I got a tea length wedding dress, nothing ornate, just fairly simple, would you wear it the whole day? Or change after the ceremony to go on the boat and then change back for dinner and the party after? (The silly things that occupy my mind.)
Refresh my memory...how long is tea length?

P.S. YES...I also had a few friends that would have just gotten HORRIBLE had alcohol been in their system...so I know JUST what you mean! Lol...
post #15 of 24
Thread Starter 
Tea length is just hitting or just below the knee.... I'd actually want something that draped from just below knee heighth to full length in back, preferably with several layers and a gently scalloped edge.

There's almost nothing like that out there except prom dresses! And you can't get those in any shade of reasonable-pale.
post #16 of 24
Personally, I think tea length would be appropriate for the whole day--that being said, when deciding whether to change at any particular point, you should consider what you will be most comfortable in (perhaps you'd be more comfortable in something shorter and simpler while you are on the boat, or even pants for that matter). But in terms of "dress ettiquette," if there is such a thing , I think tea length is a good all-purpose length.
post #17 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacat
Personally, I think tea length would be appropriate for the whole day--that being said, when deciding whether to change at any particular point, you should consider what you will be most comfortable in (perhaps you'd be more comfortable in something shorter and simpler while you are on the boat, or even pants for that matter). But in terms of "dress ettiquette," if there is such a thing , I think tea length is a good all-purpose length.
I agree completely!
post #18 of 24
It's your wedding you should be able to do what you want. You shouldn't have to be drunk just to have fun.
Thats a great idea if they want to drink then they can pay for it.
post #19 of 24
Thread Starter 
I really appreciate all the comments... I talked to my Mom and Aunt about the new plans and they like them as well. I was worried that they were going think it was too hard or something.... but they both seem to think it would be fun for everyone involved.

My Mom did make a point of asking me if it is what I want to do, since I had originally wanted a not-quite black tie event.... but I think this is a better way to go since it stymies all expectations and I (and fh) can do basically whatever we want.

I think we may end up going with a BBQ for the "reception" dinner.... it will cost about $600... and the food will be more familiar to people. But I think we'll do Thai the night before.
post #20 of 24
That sounds wonderful! I'm so happy things are working out better now. Good job!
post #21 of 24
Alcohol and weddings really don't mix. Too many times a celebration has turned into a tragedy.

Alcohols also tend to be extremely expensive, especially for a large group of people.

I think you are making the responsible choice.

ETA: Your dress would be much easier to find if you can find a separate top and skirt instead of a one-piece.
post #22 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckiboo
You only marry once. It is your day. If you want uber traditional, go for it. If you want to marry in a park and have dinner at a restaurant, go for it.
Yes. My words exzactly.
It's YOUR DAY! No one really should have a say in how it goes. And if you and FH are debating whether or not to serve alchohol..I think that would involve compromising somehow.
Maybe ask if the people that want to drink can drink one..or two? Make tickets for drinks, like everyone gets one ticket to drink..or a limit type thing for guests. Who cares if it's rude..it's not. It is most certainly NOT rude to have things the way YOU want them for your wedding.

I was at a wedding not to long ago where they were not serving alchohol, and people brought thier own. There was flasks full of alcohol being passed all around. So I suggest maybe some type of drinks be served, or people will make thier own ways to do it.
post #23 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilleah

I was at a wedding not to long ago where they were not serving alchohol, and people brought thier own. There was flasks full of alcohol being passed all around. So I suggest maybe some type of drinks be served, or people will make thier own ways to do it.
That actually sounds like a good idea. People drink less if they have to pay for that, and alcohol is expensive.
post #24 of 24
Thread Starter 
Well, fh and I discussed doing just a one drink or two drink thing, but he's not happy about ANY alcohol at the wedding... so we're not going to serve any. Period. Compromising would have been good, but there really wasn't any in this situation. It was too important of an issue to him. And I did go round and round on the subject with both fh and my Mom.

Hopefully, since it will be out of state for a lot of people and it's a "destination wedding" (seems strange to apply that to a non-tropics wedding, but hey) and we're not advertising the fact that there won't be alcohol, people won't bring their own. Also, the place we'd be having the reception requires special permission to serve alcohol... so if we can't serve it, we have a legitimate reason for telling other people to put it away.

I'll definitely look at two pieces instead of one piece dresses... thanks for the tip!
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