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i just ruined everything

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
i got up and went to go in the other room, and Wonton jumped off the bed and RAN in front of me, and got tangled up in my feet, and i ended up steppingn on his foot, and i've got my shoes on cos i came home not too long ago, and he growled and hissed and freaked out at me, and ive just ruined EVERYTHING. now he hates me again..it took me two weeks to win his trust back last time he had aggression issues..things were just getting back to normal, and now he's growling and puffing his tail up when he hears my voice.

he's in the other room with my boyfriend right now, cos i know if i open the door he'll come after me.

what should i do? i want to go tell him im sorry and try to make friends somehow..or should i just leave him to calm down?

i can't believe this..im heartbroken. he thinks i hurt him on purpose and i DIDNT. i don't know what to do..i feel terrible
post #2 of 20
awww, I don't know your story but im sure it will be ok. Just let him chill for a while and maybe he will forget about it. Does he like to play at all? Maybe play with him later after he is cooled off. I hope everything works out for you.
post #3 of 20
Thread Starter 
thanks... i let him calm down for about 20 mins and then i got some tuna and carefully went into the other room with it. he was sitting on my bf's lap, and i told my bf to hold on to him if he went for me, and i set the tuna in front of him. he went to eat it and i patted his head a bit and he didn't do anything..but i can tell he's not "normal", cos he watched me with huge eyes the whole time i was in the room.

argh, i'm so angry with myself. why didn't i take my shoes off? he was so fast tho. i always try to be careful, cos if i'm walking into the other room he likes to walk right in front of me, but it just happened so fast, and i tripped and was off balance, and when i found my balance and put my foot down, his foot was underneath it

maybe i should get him a bell collar, so i know where he is at all times...
post #4 of 20
Cats are very good at guilt trips. My guess is that he's not nearly as "injured" as he would have you believe, and will get over it soon. Just accept the first opportunity to suck up to him, and expect him to play hard-to-get. He'll play it for all it's worth.
post #5 of 20
just let him calm down a little bit. if this happend tonight then wait til tomorrow to apologize. just let him know that your not going to hurt him. if you walk into the same room tell him you love him and that it was just an acident. hopefully he will gain your trust back! keep posted.
post #6 of 20
the bell thing is a good idea but it will probly keep you up at night. by giving him tuna you are one step closer to him trusting you again. keep posted!
post #7 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rapunzel47
Cats are very good at guilt trips. My guess is that he's not nearly as "injured" as he would have you believe, and will get over it soon. Just accept the first opportunity to suck up to him, and expect him to play hard-to-get. He'll play it for all it's worth.
thanks..that made me feel a bit better he certainly seems ok, he's not favoring the foot i stepped on. and i'm sure he will end up playing it for all it's worth - he'll probably get a few new toys out of this, heh.




Quote:
Originally Posted by kittyluver27
just let him calm down a little bit. if this happend tonight then wait til tomorrow to apologize. just let him know that your not going to hurt him. if you walk into the same room tell him you love him and that it was just an acident. hopefully he will gain your trust back! keep posted.
i actually just went in the other room.. Rick was insisting that Wonton was ok now.. He picked him up and petted him and then held him out to me and said "here, hold him for a minute", and i shied away like he was handing me a crocodile and he said "come on, he's ok".. so i held him and he did what he usually does-turns his body arournd so he's facing behind me and his front paws are on my left shoulder, and started purring. so that's a good sign i'm still a bit leery of him tho, and he's probably a bit leery of me. it'll take us a few days to get back to normal i think. that'll teach me to be more careful when i walk

thanks for the replies..i was really panicking for a minute there.
post #8 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by arcadian girl
i actually just went in the other room.. Rick was insisting that Wonton was ok now.. He picked him up and petted him and then held him out to me and said "here, hold him for a minute", and i shied away like he was handing me a crocodile and he said "come on, he's ok".. so i held him and he did what he usually does-turns his body arournd so he's facing behind me and his front paws are on my left shoulder, and started purring. so that's a good sign i'm still a bit leery of him tho, and he's probably a bit leery of me. it'll take us a few days to get back to normal i think. that'll teach me to be more careful when i walk

thanks for the replies..i was really panicking for a minute there.
Try not to act leery around him, even if you are - trust works both ways - it might be harder for him to trust you if you act like you don't trust him. Friends trust each other, and friends would never hurt each other on purpose - so you don't want to give him any reason to think that you aren't friends.

I'm so sorry that this happened, obviously it's not a minor thing to you.

Good luck.
post #9 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satai
Try not to act leery around him, even if you are - trust works both ways - it might be harder for him to trust you if you act like you don't trust him. Friends trust each other, and friends would never hurt each other on purpose - so you don't want to give him any reason to think that you aren't friends.

I'm so sorry that this happened, obviously it's not a minor thing to you.

Good luck.
thanks it wouldn't be such a big deal if it weren't for what happened a couple months ago - long story, but to shorten it, he was playing with this toy he gets obsessed with, i walked by him, he lashed out for real, not playing, i tried to put him in the other room and he freaked and started screaming at me. it took me almost three weeks to win his trust back, and i'm still not even sure why it happened in the first place. for two weeks i had to keep him shut in the computer room (or whichever room i wasn't in), because if he was in the same room he'd puff up to twice his size, growl, hiss, and attack me. i slowly won his trust back, and have just now really started to be comfortable around him again...so when this happened again i was just like oh no...what if he doesn't forgive me this time-what if this time it's even worse, and takes longer for him to calm down? luckily *knock on wood* he seems to be ok.
post #10 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by arcadian girl
thanks it wouldn't be such a big deal if it weren't for what happened a couple months ago - long story, but to shorten it, he was playing with this toy he gets obsessed with, i walked by him, he lashed out for real, not playing, i tried to put him in the other room and he freaked and started screaming at me. it took me almost three weeks to win his trust back, and i'm still not even sure why it happened in the first place. for two weeks i had to keep him shut in the computer room (or whichever room i wasn't in), because if he was in the same room he'd puff up to twice his size, growl, hiss, and attack me. i slowly won his trust back, and have just now really started to be comfortable around him again...so when this happened again i was just like oh no...what if he doesn't forgive me this time-what if this time it's even worse, and takes longer for him to calm down? luckily *knock on wood* he seems to be ok.
Oh, that's rough.

Some cats have 'issues' like people and some benefit from mood altering drugs - is this something you've discussed with your vet? I only mention this because three weeks to calm down over you taking a toy away seems incrediably excessive.

I'm glad it seems to be smoothing over normally this time.
post #11 of 20
Thread Starter 
yeah, i took him to the vet after it happened and he didn't find anything physically wrong, and that he wouldn't recommend drugs based on that one incident-but if that we kept having problems, it was definately an option. we've had him for about 3 years now and for a long time he was just Mr. Love Bug. Then my bf (not knowing better at the time) petted an unaltered male cat outside, and came in and petted Wonton. Wonton smelled the cat and kind of went bananas..attacked my bf. He calmed down, but there were two more minor episodes after that - and then the episode with the toy.

Our vet is pretty progressive and doesn't like to medicate animals unless it's crucial.. he only gives certain vaccinations as well, depending on the cats life, health, whether its indoor/outdoor ect. He didn't think Wonton needed drugs at the time (and i hate the thought of a drugged up cat), but if it became necessary i totally would do it. At least this time there's a valid, understandable reason why he freaked - i stepped on the poor guys foot
post #12 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by arcadian girl
yeah, i took him to the vet after it happened and he didn't find anything physically wrong, and that he wouldn't recommend drugs based on that one incident-but if that we kept having problems, it was definately an option. we've had him for about 3 years now and for a long time he was just Mr. Love Bug. Then my bf (not knowing better at the time) petted an unaltered male cat outside, and came in and petted Wonton. Wonton smelled the cat and kind of went bananas..attacked my bf. He calmed down, but there were two more minor episodes after that - and then the episode with the toy.

Our vet is pretty progressive and doesn't like to medicate animals unless it's crucial.. he only gives certain vaccinations as well, depending on the cats life, health, whether its indoor/outdoor ect. He didn't think Wonton needed drugs at the time (and i hate the thought of a drugged up cat), but if it became necessary i totally would do it. At least this time there's a valid, understandable reason why he freaked - i stepped on the poor guys foot

It sounds like you and the vet have a good understanding of your options, so at least it's something you can try if you feel that would be a good plan. I just wanted to mention it in case it wasn't something that you had thought of - hopefully it was one of those weird once off things that we'll never understand, but will never happen again.

Poor paw but gosh, if they'd just stop being under foot! I live barefoot now.
post #13 of 20
Maybe because he's a male cat that hes more aggressive or hes in 'heat' or something, and did you have wonton since he was a kitten? maybe it's because he didn't grow up with you fully but actually that shouldn't be a issue because my cat didn't grow up with me either and shes is the nicest cat so i don't know. i did had a cat like that once, but not like this, he sounds quite aggressive.

or maybe it's because you look into his eyes when you stroke him, some cats hate that and it's a sign of threat when you do that. and go for a bell collar, my cat has one of those and it's not that noisy and you can always tell when shes is moving about.
post #14 of 20
oh I'm sooo glad for you and wonton! Cute name by the way! haha purrring is definitely a good sign. heh
post #15 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by HUYI
Maybe because he's a male cat that hes more aggressive or hes in 'heat' or something, and did you have wonton since he was a kitten? maybe it's because he didn't grow up with you fully but actually that shouldn't be a issue because my cat didn't grow up with me either and shes is the nicest cat so i don't know. i did had a cat like that once, but not like this, he sounds quite aggressive.

or maybe it's because you look into his eyes when you stroke him, some cats hate that and it's a sign of threat when you do that. and go for a bell collar, my cat has one of those and it's not that noisy and you can always tell when shes is moving about.
we found Wonton about 3 years ago. He was a stray we rescued, and when we brought him to the vet, he said he was probably a year or so old, maybe a little less..so he'd be about 4 now. 99% of the time he's a complete lapcat. loves to be held, asks to be held, comes when called. He's a lot more like a puppy dog than a cat in a lot of ways...so when the aggression first reared its head i was shocked. he's fixed, so it's not heat.. i'm not sure what it is really. i think he's very territorial- he went from being on the street, to having a nice home, and dammit this is HIS home, and he gets very agitated if there's another cat outside.

this time the agression was explained tho-i stepped on his foot the toy he was obsessed with, he only gets it sometimes now, and if i think he's acting a little strange, i'll redirect his attention to another toy, then take the cheshire cat toy (the one he fixates on) away for the night.

He seems totally fine today, so looks like no lasting damage. thank the heavens for that - i'm really relieved.
post #16 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by arcadian girl
we found Wonton about 3 years ago. He was a stray we rescued, and when we brought him to the vet, he said he was probably a year or so old, maybe a little less..so he'd be about 4 now. 99% of the time he's a complete lapcat. loves to be held, asks to be held, comes when called. He's a lot more like a puppy dog than a cat in a lot of ways...so when the aggression first reared its head i was shocked. he's fixed, so it's not heat.. i'm not sure what it is really. i think he's very territorial- he went from being on the street, to having a nice home, and dammit this is HIS home, and he gets very agitated if there's another cat outside.

this time the agression was explained tho-i stepped on his foot the toy he was obsessed with, he only gets it sometimes now, and if i think he's acting a little strange, i'll redirect his attention to another toy, then take the cheshire cat toy (the one he fixates on) away for the night.

He seems totally fine today, so looks like no lasting damage. thank the heavens for that - i'm really relieved.

I'm very happy for you both!
post #17 of 20
Thread Starter 
thank you
post #18 of 20
I'm glad the situation seems to have resolved.
post #19 of 20
your welcome! and as for his house, Im pretty sure thats normal.
post #20 of 20
yep, at least he's happy now
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