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Having trouble...

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
I feel bad for posting so much when I only joined Friday... well, not a lot, but 2 threads asking for advice in 4 days seems like a lot to me.

I was going to put this in the health section, but seeing as it's relaly about my health mainly I put it here. Sorry if it's the wrong place for it.

Basically, i'm having a really rought time of it now we have a kitten. Part of it is that I worry about her a lot... another part is selfish because I don't like the change right now.

I was ok with her last week (we only got her just over a week ago now), although it felt a bit odd not to be able to just do what I wanted during the daytime while my husband is at work.

Then she got spayed Friday and I kinda lost it. I got very upset when she got home and I was alone with her, worrying about her getting at her stitches. That was the first time I broke down :|

That night we put her in our room in her cage, so she didn't move around too much, and lost it again when she cried constantly. I could feel myself getting depressed and anxious, it wasn't nice.

On Saturday we spent some time with her, and then left her alone for a while while we played some games - she was sleepy and napped on the couch for a long time. My husband stayed on his computer for a while, while I went into the living with her. I was in there not even 5 minutes when I broke down again. Suddenly this wave of anxiety and depression washed over me and I just cried my eyes out.

I guess what i'm looking for really is, i don't know, reassurance, or advice from anyone who's felt this way. I worry about her constantly, if she's happy, if she's safe. I know i'm being too over-protective. I shut her away in the living room when i've got things to do, with all the electronics unplugged so that she's safe. But then I worry that she's lonely, or sad. I don't like to let her have the run of the house because there are wires around and i'm scared she'll kill herself. I know I sound nuts right now and I probably am.

When my husband is round, i'm fine. But now he's gone to work today and it's all coming back. I don't know waht to do. I love her, but I don't know if I can deal with this. It's making me depressed having her around and I don't know what to do

As I said, i don't know, maybe i'm just looking for someone to say it will be ok. Or for someone to say that she'll be safe if I let her run around while I get on with housework, etc. Or that she'll be happy alone for a few hours each day.

I don't want her to go, but I don't want to feel this bad. Ugh. I feel so stupid.
post #2 of 17
Take a deep breath and calm down! Shes going to be fine.If shes not excessively lapping at her stitchest then you don't have to worry. Its day 4 and shes healing up fine. Of course shes ok to run around the house now. My cats that have been spayed after the first two days had free run of the house and they didn't over do it. By now shes about healed up and can go and do as she feels shes ok with. Is she bothering electric wires? I know some cats do. I have owned many many cats and none ever payed any attention to electric cords. If she is bothering them then unplug what ones shes bothering. if shes not then don't worry. No harm is going to come of her inside your house.
is this your first cat? Really she is fine just let her have free run of the house shes going to fine and please try to not worry so much.
post #3 of 17
Ok, I guess I'll start with, Welcome to The Cat Site, home of all the "crazy cat ladies" and gents! I too was terrified when we brought LuckyGirl home. And I think to some degree, worrying about your baby is perfectly normal. (hubby will disagree that leaving messages on my answering so she hears my voice during the day is a bit much... ) And while she is still young, it may be best to block her off from the rest of the house while you are not home.... a kitten will be a kitten after all, and is just like a toddler, into everything. I have similar worries about my baby, I'm afraid somehow she'll hang herself on her collar cause she likes to jump high up into the closet and walk on the top of the hangers. I try to keep the doors/drawers closed, God forbid she got into something, she will eat just about anything....

But, if you are making yourself physically sick with worry about her, I'd see your doctor. Chances are if your not having this reaction over the kitten, you'd have it over something else, say a child? They can give you some exercises to do when you feel overwhelmed, or maybe if needed a prescription, that you take as necessary. It sounds as if you are truly doing the best that you can to take care of your new angel... the rest is out of your control. You have to learn to make peace with that (I know easier said than done), you can only control so much....

Good luck with your new baby!
post #4 of 17
I remember when I first joined forums I whined and complained for a whole month (May 2005).

It seems so overwhelming that an outlet just suddenly opens up to you. You need some time to equilbrate.

Everything is going to be alright.

My cats take care of each other, so even though I have five it only feels like two. Perhaps you need to get your cat a companion. I know my cats lick each other in the face if one of them gets anxious or depressed.
post #5 of 17
Thread Starter 
I really am trying my best right now. It's not so much her being energetic after surgery. I know she's healing well and she's got the sock on her so she doesn't get at the stitches. She was biting at them so we had to do something about it and i can only imagine how she would have reacted to an e-collar!

She's taken a liking to electrical cords right now... which has me worried. Because short of unplugging everything in the house, which would be inconvenient, i don't know what to do. I know I can tube them up, or get something to put on them so that she wont want to chew - which I will as soon as possible.

I just want to be able to do what I did during the day, pop online for a little while, do the housework, etc. without being constantly worried that she's either a) unhappy and lonely being shut in one room so that she's safe or b) she's not shut away and getting into trouble or endangering herself.

I know I need a good slap and I know i'm being stupid. I'm sure if i let her run around the whole apartment while i do whatever I need to she'd be fine - i just worry way too much.

Thank you LuckyGirl, it's nice to know i'm not the only one who worries - although i know my worrying is a over the top.

Being responsible for something, especially something so little and precious, just terrifies me!
post #6 of 17
Yes, you definately need to calm down

You'll have an ulcer if you keep worrying so much. Cats are pretty independant, and you will know if she is unhappy. Usually as long as you give them the attention they need, they are fine by themselves sometimes.

As far as keeping her safe, as long as you do everything you can to keep her safe, what more can you do? You have to relax a little, and let he explore and just keep an eye on her. She will be fine.
post #7 of 17
Although i grew up with cats when i lived with my parents i never had my own until i got Rosie.

My boyfriend at the time worked for a secrurity company on weekends so that meant me and the "baby" being on our own and i wondered how i would be with her being so small etc... because this little one was looking up to me to make sure she was safe, fed and watered

Just take each day as it comes, and theres always someone here at all times of the day and night if you need any advice on anything, but trust me when i say as each day passes you'll get more confident with the little one around, and i promise you this and i know a lot of members here will agree, this little girl will turn out to be a great friend when your having a bad day because if theres one thing about animals they give you unconditional love

Have you posted any pictures of her in fur pages yet because we'd love to see her!
post #8 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thank you rosie. That's exactly it, that they can be so helpless and I think i'm overwhelmed right now with the fact that she's looking up to me for certain things, and i'm scared i won't provide all she needs.

I know that as she gets older, and bigger, and calms down a little it will be so much easier. This stage is hard though, especially when it's my first pet, and she's so little!

I posted two pictures of her this morning
post #9 of 17
What i always tell members who have a new kitten is to imagine you had a child who's crawling and getting into everything and to look for things that could be dangerous, eg: if there are any cords from blinds or curtains dangling, tie them up out of reach, is there any chocolate laying around where the kitten could eat, put it in a cupboard because chocolate can harm them.

I remember once when Rosie was only about 4 months old i had filled my bath, and luckily the water was just warm but she slipped in so i quickly scouped her out. After that the bathroom door was shut because i could have been downstairs the next time it happend

Just give her lots of love, attention and playtime and you'll be used to it before you know it, but enjoy her as a kitten because trust me they grow up too fast

Must go and check your little girl out now

EDIT: And she's gorgeous!!!!!
post #10 of 17
Oh, I forgot to mention, we just had a scare this weekend. Hubby had to get in the coat closet for something, and left the door open for a second to set something on the table, then went back and closed the door. Well, we had the radio up and were cleaning the house, and I noticed I didn't see her in say 20-30 minutes... so I turn down the volume and start calling for her, she usually comes. No Lucky. I can hear her faintly crying, but can't tell where it is... so I'm frantically searching my house... under the beds, in the closets in the bedroom, in the bathroom... and finally I see this little peek of white paw coming out of the hall closet. When I opened the door she was purring and loving me like crazy. And I felt so horrible about her being locked in there, it's dark, and it's kinda dangerous cause hubby keeps his tools in there... so of course I called him up and made him feel bad. She was just happy to be out!
post #11 of 17
Kittens are so much work. I miss my cats' kitten days but I would not relive them again.

You should get a bitter apply gel for your electric cords. I like gel better than spray. It makes the electric cords very bitter tasting and cats hate that.
post #12 of 17
Thread Starter 
Awww Lucky, I can imagine how happy she was to be out!

Thank you shengmei, my husband and I are going to stop at Petsmart tonight and look for the bitter apple spray. I don't think they do the gel and i want to get the wires coated a.s.a.p. It will help relieve a lot of my worry! I just hope it works!
post #13 of 17
I would disagree that cats are safe in the house. Kittens get into everything- and I mean everything. But you are obsessively worried about this kitten so I wouldn't even recommend you get another. Kittens will be running amok, one kitten will be as well but it won't be as overwhelming to you as if there are two or three. Right now, I have six and they are up the drapes, behind the computer, on my back, down my arm running the tunnels keeping us both awake. But it is kitty rhythm and you get used to it after awhile.

First of all, be sure the kitty has toys, cat condos, safe places to hide. You said she has a sock on her? Not sure what that means, but if you have wrapped a sock around her neck, or around her incision without the vet's okay, I would suggest you take it off. But again, not sure what you meant by wrapping a sock around her.

Next kitty proof your home- get down on your hands and knees, or lie flat on your tummy in every room. Look around at that level- see anything dangerous? Heater vents? places under the refrigerator or stove she can get into? Block them, block all the places because you will be surprised how small a space she can get into. Cat's don't have shoulderblades, so if their whiskers fit, they will fit. Do you have a fireplace? Make sure the screen is up. Drapery cords and blinds? Put the cords up high so kitty isn't prone to play with them. There are so many dangers in the home, not as bad as outside, but still you need to be careful. Recliners, kitties love to hide up in the stool. They run about your feet, so you could step on them. But if you worry about everything then it takes the joy out of being with a kitten.

Electrical cords, I am firmly convinced kitties think they are mouse tails!


Look into this category for the website StopShock- also I strongly strongly recommend you purchase the book found on that same page- Kittens for Dummies. I am NOT calling you a dummy! I have the book and I have been doing bottle babies for many many years. It is a priceless book to have especially for someone overwhelmed by a kitten. I have even seen it in pocket form at the local supermarket at the checkout stands. My friend Dusty Rainbolt wrote it, and she has also been doing bottle babies for a long time.

And calm down, really the activity has only just begun. Your kitten will become most active in the wee hours of the mornings. This is what some mistakenly believe is playtime, but on the contrary it is preytime. If this little one were with mom, mom would be waking her babies up and teaching them to hunt during this time. This is when bugs and mice are active and birds come out to feed on the worms in the damp grass. This activity is instinctual and you cannot prevent it, just let it happen.

Your kitten will pick up your stress and it will make her agitated. You need to perhaps seek professional help to regulate your moods so you can be relatively calm. So just try to deep breathe. You have just entered kitty komakazee kamp and because people take kittens away from mom way to early (most times) the training in this kamp can be intense. Hang on and enjoy the ride!
post #14 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thanks, in some ways this makes me feel better, in some it terrifies me even more, lol.

I'm being as calm as possible around her, i don't want her to pick up on what i'm feeling, so i never go to her when i'm feeling nervous.

The sock was a suggestion from a thread I posted the day she got spayed. To cut the foot end off and place it over her stitches, like a bandage (around her tummy). I called my vet and asked him about this and he said it would be a better idea than getting an e-collar for her. So, yeah, it was vet approved. And i'm checking it many times a day to make sure it's not irritating the wound. She doesn't seem to mind it at all.

She has plenty of toys and a kitty condo, a bed, places she enjoys sitting at. We've kitty proofed all we can, and after we do the wires tonight, I think that's about it.

Thanks for the advice.
post #15 of 17
I didn't mean to terrify you I guess I was just trying to put it in perspective for you. You can't worry about everything or your life will be in ruins. You use caution, common sense and wisdom and things will be okay.
post #16 of 17
Thread Starter 
Oh, it's ok, it's easily done right now, lol. And even if it scares me, it's things I need to be aware of and that can only make this situation easier. The more I can do to keep her safe the more weight will be lifted from my mind.

Thank you
post #17 of 17
As Hissy suggests, all you can do is be sensible, kitten proof your home as much as you can and enjoy your kitten. Like childhood, these days pass too fast, and one day you will remember with joy some of hte things she does now. As for hte cords, you can buy foam tubes to cover them that work pretty well and stop chewing. ANd she will soon discover how to lie on your keyboard as you type, so neither of you will be lonely at home!

But it can be terrifying, especially if she sneezes or gets sick. I had to bottle raise or syringe feed four of mine as kittens, and one (Dushka) lived in my pocket for three weeks wherever I went, she was so small and sick. So I know how you feel about worrying. Really try to relax and enjoy - this should be a happy time.
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