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My ex-husband makes me SO angry! (yes another post by me lol)

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
Today he asked me if I would pick up Justice for him because he was working late. (He usually picks him up for an overnight on fridays). I didn't have any problem with it so I agreed.
He called me and said he would pick him up. No problem.

He got here early (before I could feed Justice dinner) without calling..Said he would stop and pick up something for dinner for him. He sat and talked to me for about 10 mins about my new job and needed the # in case of emergency. Well my current husband was in the house taking a shower and avoiding my ex (If I could only do that ) so I rushed my ex and said I needed to get inside because we were going to dinner after my mom dropped off Deacon. I said bye to Justice and went in the house. I called mom about 10mins later and she said she was turning down our street. She then asked "Whats **** doing sitting in your driveway and Justice is walking to the front door" I opened the door and he asked for his Busch Gardens/Adventure Island pass for the weekend. Well I had to go back out to the truck to get my wallet. My mom was parked out front waiting for my ex to move his van. I asked my ex 3 times, NICELY to move so mom could pull in. Justice was already in the van by now. Well **** was on his cell phone and ignoring me. I went up to his window and he rolled it down and screamed "WHAT?" I said "you've been sitting here 20 mins, you forget something else?" He just rolled up the window and kept talking on his cell. My mom then asked him to move because it was starting to rain and didn't want to have to walk from the front of the yard in the downpour to the porch. He rolled his window down again and screamed "I'm on a F****** important call! Wait one GD minute!" I WAS LIVID! All we did was ask him nicely to move... I wasn't being mean, I wasn't being rude, I just thought that since he was leaving there was no need to sit in my driveway for 20 mins on the phone. Well he peeled out in my driveway and then again pulling off the street.
By this time my current husband was BEYOND pissed. He called him on the phone and told him that we always respect his house when we come over and he needs to respect ours. My ex hung up on him and wont answer the phone.. This isn't the first time he has done something this childish. The FIRST day we moved in here he pulled up in his brand new 2006 Jeep ( but he can't pay child support ) with his stereo booming and when he left he left skid marks 15 feet long in front of my house. and all the while my son is in the vehicle with him.
This is the first time my husband has EVER confronted him about ANYTHING and it's LOOOOOOOONG overdue! I am so frustrated right now I don't know what to do anymore... any advice?

(sorry, I know I'm long winded)
post #2 of 13
no advice just a
post #3 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miagi's_Mommy
no advice just a

Awww... ty
post #4 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256
This isn't the first time he has done something this childish. The FIRST day we moved in here he pulled up in his brand new 2006 Jeep ( but he can't pay child support ) with his stereo booming and when he left he left skid marks 15 feet long in front of my house. and all the while my son is in the vehicle with him.
This is the first time my husband has EVER confronted him about ANYTHING and it's LOOOOOOOONG overdue! I am so frustrated right now I don't know what to do anymore... any advice?

(sorry, I know I'm long winded)
Oh, another trip through family court sounds about right - both because he should be paying child support even if has to sell the jeep and buy a banger, and because it seems he needs a lesson in not ticking people off.

In the games of love and war - keep score.
post #5 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satai
Oh, another trip through family court sounds about right - both because he should be paying child support even if has to sell the jeep and buy a banger, and because it seems he needs a lesson in not ticking people off.

In the games of love and war - keep score.

We have been to court about 12 times in 5 years. They know about his jeep and he just tells them "My dad paid for it. It was a gift" and he keeps everything in his dad's name so it can't be seized. Even his apartment, cell phone, cable, water, electric is all in his dad's name.
I have to say I take EXTREME joy in the fact that his new jeep has broken down a couple times.. and it seems to be right after he makes fun of my 7 yr old Truck :naughty:
I have been dealing with infantile crap like this with him for 5 1/2 yrs now... I just wonder if it will EVER end..
It took everything my current husband has to keep from beating the snot out of him today... but he's not worth it... not worth the furballs the cats hack up
post #6 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256
I have been dealing with infantile crap like this with him for 5 1/2 yrs now... I just wonder if it will EVER end..
Ah. Ok, well the answer is no, almost certainly not.
post #7 of 13
I have no advice, thankfully I don't have to deal with my ex. For five years he was barred from coming within 500 yards of our daughter (but not barred from sending gifts/cards/ect) it's been 7 years in January since our divorce and I've not gotten one card/gift or anything for HIS biological daughter in those 7 years. Not once. And none from his family either. All of them I suppose don't even care about the existance of a grandchild/neice (he has a brother and parents/step parents).

Last I knew he was Active Duty army but he only pays 70 dollars a month in child support (so I feel your pain there).

I wish I could help you out with advice, but being that I've never been in that situation myself I am at a loss for what to say to help you with it.

Though with the child support you could take him back to court for that, ask for a re-assessment, he has to by law provide his financial records.

Other than that...all I can offer you is this

And some understanding.
post #8 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ButterflyDream
I have no advice, thankfully I don't have to deal with my ex. For five years he was barred from coming within 500 yards of our daughter (but not barred from sending gifts/cards/ect) it's been 7 years in January since our divorce and I've not gotten one card/gift or anything for HIS biological daughter in those 7 years. Not once. And none from his family either. All of them I suppose don't even care about the existance of a grandchild/neice (he has a brother and parents/step parents).

Last I knew he was Active Duty army but he only pays 70 dollars a month in child support (so I feel your pain there).

I wish I could help you out with advice, but being that I've never been in that situation myself I am at a loss for what to say to help you with it.

Though with the child support you could take him back to court for that, ask for a re-assessment, he has to by law provide his financial records.

Other than that...all I can offer you is this

And some understanding.

We have been back for child support and like I said, he lists everything in his dad's name and his employer says he works on a "as needed basis" so he is supposed to pay $80/week. I havent seen that in a LOOONG time.. he's also supposed to be paying health insurance and half child care fees... Instead he buys him PSPs and XBOX360...
I just pray every night that when my son grows up he will see his father for what he is.
post #9 of 13
I'm sure he will hun. It's hard not to, just imagine having to sit down and tell your child that their bio dad did something really really bad to them.

That's what I'm terrified of when the time comes to tell my daughter.
post #10 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ButterflyDream
I'm sure he will hun. It's hard not to, just imagine having to sit down and tell your child that their bio dad did something really really bad to them.

That's what I'm terrified of when the time comes to tell my daughter.

My son was also abused by his father... bruised him badly on SEVERAL occasions and CPS won't do anything about it. The one time they did tell him he needed to seek counsuling they didn't follow through with it. He never went, they never pushed it.
I have pictures of things he's done and they will do nothing. But they will sure show up in a heartbeat when Justice falls and scrapes his leg on the steps and his father calls them.
post #11 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256
My son was also abused by his father... bruised him badly on SEVERAL occasions and CPS won't do anything about it. The one time they did tell him he needed to seek counsuling they didn't follow through with it. He never went, they never pushed it.
I have pictures of things he's done and they will do nothing. But they will sure show up in a heartbeat when Justice falls and scrapes his leg on the steps and his father calls them.

You know that's really sick. I think what helped me out was that my daughter was a 9 week old infant, her broke her upper left arm by twisting it (creating a spiral fracture) and admitted to doing it.

And it's really messed up that CPS won't do anything about it and you are basically left to feel powerless about the entire situation. I just seriously don't think there is enough done about men who take out their anger on defenseless children and/or their wives. And it saddens me and makes me angry all at the same time.
post #12 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ButterflyDream
You know that's really sick. I think what helped me out was that my daughter was a 9 week old infant, her broke her upper left arm by twisting it (creating a spiral fracture) and admitted to doing it.

And it's really messed up that CPS won't do anything about it and you are basically left to feel powerless about the entire situation. I just seriously don't think there is enough done about men who take out their anger on defenseless children and/or their wives. And it saddens me and makes me angry all at the same time.
Myself and Justice both have went through counsiling for 4 yrs and I have learned alot. I know why his father takes things out on him. He's angry with me. Probably still angry I divorced him.
What bothers me the most is that his dad can talk himself out of any situation
Once he ran me off the road with the car because I wouldn't let him take Justice to Texas. Justice was in the car and we ended up in a ditch. When the cops got there they MADE me hand Justice to him (he was 3½) or I would go to jail for denying him his right to see his child even though there was no court order for custody yet and all the neighbors seen and testified to what he did... I didn't see Justice for almost 2 months. He ran off with him.
Then after I got him back and felt I had no choice but let him see him he kept him from me again because I was pregnant with Deacon and he felt with me having another child I was uncapable of caring for him, I called the police. They told me (this was the same cop from before) that they won't make him give him to me w/o a court order.... But I have to give him to his dad?... can you see favoritism?
post #13 of 13
He sounds like a major butthead (and that's using nice words and not my usual potty talk cause there are other words that would be censored that I could put in here).

He is manipulating you using your son and that is not okay. A child is not a thing to be used to control another individual. And I'm so sorry you have to deal with that on a regular basis. I feel blessed that I don't have to deal with my ex because I know there are many many women who cannot say the same thing about an abusive relationship that involves children.

What I might suggest is trying to get a custody arrangement court ordered so that conflicts like this when they arrise can be legally handled (unless you've already done or tried to do that and it's been washed).

May I ask if your ex is at all involved or ever was involved in law enforcement himself? Because the type of favortism that seems to be being shown seems like the 'brotherhood' mentality. I'm just throwing out late night thoughts but either he was in law enforcement or his has some really good buddies that are. Cause IMO all cops pretty much (not strictly speaking) but the ones I've delt with....in my personal life before DH...are butts. Users. And they all back each other up.
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